Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

KajiKita

PennysIntoPounds said:

Another book up just when I was in catching distance 🙄😁

Oh trust me, you’ll easily catch me up again once I’m back in work … 😉

KK

KajiKita

I am properly pooped. 

Family barbecue today, Mr KK’s family, the niece and partner who lost their baby were hosting. Mr KK was at a steam rally p, so I went on my own, after first buying a beautiful, slightly scented, yellow-orange DA mid sized rose.  A good hour’s drive each way, which isn’t a lot really, but seems to be for me these days … 🙄 

Got there early (unintentionally) and asked if we were talking about their son and what had happened or were we trying to avoid it for the day. They totally opened up and told me a lot. They are really going through the wringer with it still … Medical review coming up after which they may yet decide to take legal action. She is still struggling with a lot of physical effects which need meds, physio and further tests. She doesn’t start counselling until September (bear in mind she lost the baby about two months ago) and is intending to take most of her maternity leave as her head is not in the right place for going back to work and not shouting at idiot colleagues (I’m paraphrasing a little here 😉). They appreciated me broaching the subject as some people won’t even acknowledge it. They liked the rose. The conversation reached a point where it naturally segued into other, ordinary, day to day things and other people started arriving. 

It rained, on and off all afternoon. Food was meant to happen at one, barbecue didn’t get lit until 1.30pm (I had anticipated this and had a hearty breakfast followed by some fruit this morning! 😉), we all ran in and out carrying cushions, plates, food etc etc back and forth, I think 3 times. We gave up when it became monsoon, but by then most of us had had dessert 😊

One thing I’m not quite sure how to approach is that I was told by my SiL that MiL (Mr KK’s mum) is losing blood from somewhere and that’s why she has had a scan recently, not because of her neck and headache issues as Mr KK told me … 🤷‍♀️

Mr KK is cooking tonight (and I’m letting him, as I cooked all the way through the hot weather!) and I am looking forward to a quiet evening and an early night! 

KK

PennysIntoPounds

That sounds a very tiring but worthwhile day.
Driving somewhere you're not used to, by yourself, with stressful matters on your mind is always going to be extra energy intensive.

Good on you for sensitively broaching the subject, I bet it's made them feel much better this evening for having been able to have that chat.

That's a bit odd about SiL's mention of MiL, 'losing blood from somewhere' isn't a thing?
I don't know her capacity to accurately remember or report, or MiL's to SiL, but since we know they're both a bit not right in the head what with the wedding dress incident, maybe say to Mr KK something like 'I don't know if she was trying to be dramatic, especially if she was maybe a tad jealous of me being on good terms with your niece and her partner about everything that's going on with them, but perhaps give your mum a call in the week just to make sure there's nothing extra occurring'? 

Brie

It's such an extraordinary elephant in the room if someone doesn't mention a death.  Worse still when it's a child or baby I think.  You did well - but I expect that you are much better at reading a mood than some.

KajiKita

Tbh, @PennysIntoPounds I’m more thinking that Mr KK has been told about the blood loss but is psychologically going ‘la-la-la with fingers in ears’ (losing his mum will be devastating when it inevitably happens) and didn’t ‘hear’ it, iyswim. I know MiL is suffering from anaemia (Mr KK has told me this) and tbh what I am hearing from SiL today, makes more sense than what Mr KK has told me. 

Thanks @Brie. I hate heart-cowardice (it burns my conscience if I judge myself guilty of it) and so I tend to ‘screw my courage up to the sticking place’ and ask the questions other people might try to avoid …

KK

PennysIntoPounds

Ah, fair enough, I guess just ask him if she mentioned anything to him then, gives him an opening to start thinking if not talking. But don't discount that 'bleeding from somewhere' isn't a medically recognised condition and that she's clearly got an unhinged streak that means her account should be taken with enough of a pinch of salt to do you for several chippie teas

Watty1

Well done for bringing up that devastating loss.  I am certain they appreciated your thoughtfulness and care.  

Does sound as if MiL might need some more questions being assigned.  That’s a difficult one.  

KajiKita

Quiet, chilled, getting ready for going away, day here 😊

Small load of washing on the line. Towels that I swopped over but didn’t have time to wash yesterday are now in the machine. 

Tidied, supported, weeded, fed (with amazingly effective but super stinky, powdered comfrey) and watered greenhouse. 😊

Lifted the last of my shallots, looking really good. I will weigh and record their value later 😊 they are sunning themselves in a tray in the garden atm. 🌞

Breakfast now and then out to the plant centre to see if they have any veg plants I can put in where the shallots have come out - can’t hurt can it 😉

Later when the deck is in shade, I will feed the pots there with the powdered comfrey. I need to start packing / thinking what to take on my trip this afternoon too. 

KK

debtfreewannabe321

What is powdered comfrey? And how did you make it? Or do you buy it 🤔

Well done for bringing up the baby and asking the question if it was okay to talk about it. I would want to do the same but sometimes I do feel awkward doing so in case people don't want to talk about it and it sets them off in this sort of situation so I wouldn't have known what to do and there's a good chance I'd have kept quiet and second guessed whether to speak about it all day..your approach is far better!

I'd like to grow some onions and shallots next year. This year I got started too late on the garden to get much but we have a glut of courgette and cucumber which I'm pleased about and we've had enough aubergines to make buying the plant worthwhile 🙈😆.

KajiKita

@debtfreewannabe321, I bought it. I think you can dilute it but I have been using it as a (thin) mulch in my greenhouse, on the beds and I’m about to use it under the plants but on the surface of my pots, and then watering it in. 

This stuff:



I think it’s fantastic. It’s organic (which is what I want for my growing) and easy to use (if a bit stinky) and has done wonders for the growth in my garden this year. My ground is massively infertile, thin silty stuff and absorbs compost like it never happened! I have been mulching as well using this stuff this year and it’s made a big difference 😊 Going to be regular fixture in my garden going forwards I think. 

You’ve done well for a first season in a new garden when you’ve had lots of other stuff to do and some the fruit plants will come good next year or the one after 😊

KK