Simple living in the country - back to basics

Cheery_Daff

Indeed, although I've just wasted 45 mins messing about on the Internet! 😱😱 Need to snap out of that right now!!

EssexHebridean

Your week really is sounding lovely and cheerfully productive - fabulous! 

I wasn't in for the saving session last night - in fact neither of us were, and of course I'd set the WM to run before we got home so it did the heating part of its cycle right in the middle of the session - sigh! Ah well, can't be helped! (And at least the machine ran as it should last night, so perhaps it might hang on without needing replacement for just a little bit longer!) 

I don't think you need to feel bad about returning the boots, at the end of the day it's not costing her anything as you're covering the postage, and clearly whatever her "personal seller" status she IS a trader, so she must be very well used to it! 

Cheery_Daff

You're right, of course! I will quit procrastinating and email...

Very annoying about the saving session, but potentially good news about the washing machine! I love our new one. Well, we've had it over a year and it was second hand so not exactly NEW 😂 But the last one was over 20 years old and didn't have a cycle shorter than about 3 hours. This one has 30 and 40 degree cycles that are 1 hr on the 'eco' setting which is great. Obviously that's 1 hour in washing machine timing, which I'm convinced is slightly longer, although I've never actually timed it 😂

FD switch has completed as planned today, so just need to sit tight and wait for the incentive. I also need to transfer the switched dosh back to the main current account - there's a standing order going into there for the sole purpose of the regular saver, but otherwise we won't be using that account (unless we go abroad again).

Right, on with work for a bit and then I'll do some admin over lunch. Mr Cheery is out til very late tonight doing a gig so I've got the house to myself. Here's a vague plan...

LUNCHTIME

* email ebay woman
* transfer FD dosh
* email new job to ask for doc

EARLY EVENING

* workout 
* make something tasty for tea
* Put the recycling out
* ring dad

MID EVENING

* job form (text friend to arrange time to chat, read another article, watch a couple of presentations)
* bank shuffling after payday
* upload photos onto laptop

LATER EVENING

* photo shuffling while I watch a film (any recommendations??)

Cheery_Daff

Grr, emailed eBay woman to say I'd return them, and only later noticed that there's a chip out of one of the heels 🙄 It's not in the listing photos, and I didn't notice when it arrived, BUT I took a picture showing how the boot wouldn't do up on my leg 😂 and that does show a chip - I didn't even put my foot on the floor so it clearly wasn't me, but I've obviously now started the returns process based on them not fitting. !!!!!!.

At this point I'm tempted to just say I'll keep them, get that one reheeled when I get my other boots reheeled tomorrow, and then sell them on as part of my Vinted experiments. What a palaver! 

Freezing here. Just waved Mr Cheery off and the sun is shining and it's SO bright and lovely. I think I'm going to wrap up and take a walk round the block for 15 mins to reset - just not properly with it today at all!

Cheery_Daff

Well I did have a walk round the block, and it wasnindeed freezing 🥶 Missed the bright sunshine but it was still pretty, and livened me up nicely (and made the house feel much warmer when I came in!)

Got properly down to work after that, and as I was on a roll, ended up working til 9.30pm 🙄 Not something I'd normally do, but there are lots of things on the go at the minute, and a few things need feedback from others, so it was good to get them sent rather than waiting til Monday (I did auto schedule them to send this morning - I try to set a good example re not working late, even if sometimes I actually do... 🙄). 

Then I rang my dad and ended up on the phone for 2 hours 😱 Had a nice chat though. He's got various health issues at the minute and a lot of medical visits. I'm trying not to get too involved on a day to day level. My parents divorced when I was small and he's never been in my life much bar phone calls and an annual visit (from me - he's only actually visited me once in my adult life, in 2003). So I don't plan on being any kind of carer at this point! Fortunately he doesn't require me to be - he has a lot of friends keeping an eye out, and is making use of the ambulance taxi thing, which seems designed specifically for people like him - he currently can't even walk to the bus with his foot strapped up because of a diabetic ulcer.

He always seems a lot older than he actually is. He's done manual outdoor work all his life, smoked, had a really unhealthy diet, made a point of NEVER eating veg except peas, and having never been to the docs, he now has several ailments all at once 🙄 

I sometimes have to remind myself he's actually less than 5 years older than Mr Cheery 😱 (who is not a good advert at the minute, having several ongoing ailments himself despite being far healthier than my dad!) But I try not to remind myself of that too often 🙄😂

Anyway, all that meant I didn't get anything on my list done, so it'll all have to transfer to today! 

Cheery_Daff

So, today. Sun is shining! Still cold though.

MORNING - out and about 

* workout
* out for breakfast with Mr Cheery to use some of our remaining Christmas vouchers
* meal plan
* supermarket
* get shoes reheeled (2 pairs of mine, plus the defective ebay one)

AFTERNOON - job prep

* text friend to meet about this
* finish reading everything I printed
* draft structure for presentation - I want a complete draft by the end of this weekend so I've got an entire week to tweak
* start writing out answers to potential interview questions

EARLY EVENING - house & life admin

* flylady home blessing
* made something in the hay box
* bank shuffling after payday

Cheery_Daff

😱😱😱 Just had the house insurance renewal email 😱😱😱

£195 last year, £675 this year 😱😱😱

My dislike of insurance comparisons will be tempered by outrage this year! 😱 I knew there had been increases, but surely that's ridiculous?! 

Car insurance is due in Feb too - that better not have done the same thing! 😱

Bluegreen143

Cheery, thanks for sharing re your dad. It’s really helpful to me as I ponder how much to get involved if my own dad has more health issues going forward. He’s only in his late 50s but isn’t quite the same after having a stroke a few years ago - he did return to work etc, but you can see he now struggles somewhat with life/confidence/cognitively (gets overwhelmed by problems now). 

For context, he left my mum when I was 2, and was only in our lives sporadically, mainly because my paternal grandparents were very involved and we would stay with them loads and see my dad if he popped over! He had a lot of problems with alcohol and drugs, let us down regularly and didn’t pay my mum maintenance. 

He’s improved somewhat, especially since his stroke, and now makes an effort to visit to see his grandchildren most months. It’s sweet he loves my children so much but I actually find it a bit triggering how he constantly waxes lyrical about missing them in between visits when he never bothered about seeing me or my sister at those ages 😕

Anyway, he is clearly vulnerable, having treated his body very badly for his whole life, having ongoing issues from his stroke, having never paid much into a pension or bought a house despite having an extremely well paid career (he wasted it all on booze and gambling) and he was widowed a few years ago and seems to have few friends. 

He lives about a 3hr drive away so I can’t really take on supporting him daily but I can see that he is high risk for needing support in a few years’ time. Trying to detach a bit emotionally as much of his lack of support comes from his own poor behaviour, to me and to everyone else in his life.

Sorry for hijacking! But I do relate to what you’re saying about your dad, and it is something on my mind recently. 

Cheery_Daff

Thanks for posting Bluegreen - I almost deleted that post after I'd written it because it felt like too much waffle but I'm glad I didn't. Your situation does indeed sound tricky, and I can understand your mixed feelings. We didn't have the drugs & alcohol issue (although I had that with an ex partner so I am unfortunately familiar with some of it 🙄) but the lack of involvement rings very true. My sister doesn't speak to him at all now, and he's not seen her kids for years, never even met the youngest (now 14).

I think setting and keeping boundaries is going to be VERY important for both of us in the coming years, especially for you with your own young children. 

I'm VERY mindful that my dad is now 66, mum 65, and Mr Cheery 61 (with his dad 86) and while that doesn't necessarily mean they'll all get ill at the same time, the likelihood increases as we go on 🙄

My priority is Mr Cheery, and I will make my life very inconvenient for him if necessary, which hopefully it won't be. Second is my mum, who is currently fine, although occasionally depressed and very much looking forward to retirement. The tricky situation with her is that she lives close to my sister, and we both need to be mindful not to let that automatically translate into her doing most things. But I am encouraging her to sort out POA so we can do things should they become necessary.

I've not even broached POA with my dad, and I'm not going to. We've never had a conversation about money (whereas we're quite open with my mum), and I don't intend to start now. I did give him a lift to the hospital on a day I visited anyway, but I won't be driving over there (about 1.5 hours) especially, whereas I would for my mum if necessary. Stupidly they live about 10 mins from each other so chances are I'll end up seeing him more often if I end up seeing her more often anyway 😂

Anyway, do keep talking about this. Good to keep it all in mind so you're not making decisions in a crisis situation - or so that crisis decisions don't become everyday actions. Xx

redofromstart

Our house insurance had doubled (December) but I couldn't find a cheaper quote. My car (Feb) has gone up 20% but I haven't looked at alternate quotes yet. Hope you find a better price.