My 2 year battle to try to keep our home

savingholmes

Fantastic progress

I would upgrade the car too

Chrystal

Hope everything is OK?  XX

Suffolk_lass

Yes @Chrystal, I was thinking that. Her last post referenced Covid spreading through the house and feeling rubbish.

Chrystal

It's a long time since you posted.  Really hope that you and the family are all OK, and that Covid did no real harm.
If you feel up to it can you let us know that you are alright,  ((((hugs))))X

Tiredbutdetermined

My kids all recovered from Covid fairly well but I have been left with headaches and just feel shattered. I have had an MRI and have tablets to try to help.
However, my ex has turned out to be a massive headache as well as a severe pain in the butt. After 6 months of pushing me to get my own mortgage and get him off the joint mortgage he turned around and decided he wouldn’t be signing the paperwork to remove himself from the mortgage.
He is killing time whilst I pay the large joint mortgage alone with a lovely letter from Heliodor every other month telling me the enormous monthly payment is getting larger and larger. Despite the house being in negative equity when he left as shown in our valuations last May, he clearly feels it is now worth more so wants it revaluing.
He has been unpleasant and cold with the kids so I just wish the house stuff could be done with so we can finalise the divorce and I can move forwards with my life. I must be blinking gorgeous because that man just seems desperate to stay married to me!

I am still slowly plodding with the savings in case it all goes wrong but I am literally living in the cheapest 4 bedroom house in my area so who knows how this will play out!

I have points of feeling really fed up but I know I have masses of potential to be doing brilliantly so I just try to tell myself that the longer he tries to hold me back the further I will fly when he is forced to let go. He will just be stuck in his gutter.

stymied

Has your solicitor told him that unless he removes himself from the mortgage you will be expecting him to pay 50% of it, backdated to when he last made a payment? Also if your current offer expires you won’t be seeking another so he will be on the joint mortgage for at least 5 years?

Or some other such threats, surely there must be precedent for this situation?

You’re doing so well!

Tiredbutdetermined

stymied said:

Has your solicitor told him that unless he removes himself from the mortgage you will be expecting him to pay 50% of it, backdated to when he last made a payment? Also if your current offer expires you won’t be seeking another so he will be on the joint mortgage for at least 5 years?

Or some other such threats, surely there must be precedent for this situation?

You’re doing so well!

The idea of remaining on the joint mortgage for another 5 years sounds like a threat to me, not him! It costs me over £200 a month more than the sole one I had agreed back in January would have.
My solicitor is keeping track of my payments over the last year so the aim is to take that from any value the house might show.
The valuation is tomorrow so hoping it is sensible. The market has gone crackers and I know all signs say that it will crash imminently but I hope the valuation won’t be inflated at the moment. 

I am seriously fed up to be over a year in and still stuck with his silliness.
He is playing silly games with the child maintenance and my daughter’s gymnastics so I can’t wait to be divorced and have as much finalised as possible.
On the positive side, my gas/electric use has gone down so I should be able to decrease my dd and use the saving to pay off debt (I will just pretend the cost of petrol hasn’t gone up!).

I need to get back to budgeting this month as things haven’t been as tight as they have needed to be lately.

Tiredbutdetermined

The valuation is over so now just the wait to see what it says and what that means.

The ex is still being a buffoon but it is what it is. 

stymied

What a nightmare! I really feel for you x

Tiredbutdetermined

4 weeks later and the valuation report has finally been released.
I hope this is a positive and we can finally push ahead with a divorce but I have a feeling my wonderful ex will not be happy with it. I have a sinking feeling he will want to go back to the drawing board and look at finances again, which will cause further expense and delay but it will also grate as I have been scrimping, saving and cutting back whereas he has amassed more debt and been living his best life.
I just hope his solicitor is reasonable and mine actually starts working for me so we don’t end up having to go to court to fight over money neither of us have.