Forever Starts Now

starnac

Morning. Yesterday was a good day. DS enjoyed himself at my work. He had some squash in a mug and sat with me showing me funny things on his phone. As he left with DH he told me that he'd had a great time and he felt like he was in a meeting like some of the other people there. So that was really nice.

We set up the warm space expecting older people to come but it turned out that the people who use it the most are working aged people who are suddenly working from home after covid. So people bring laptops and work or arrange meetings in our building and it's actually lovely to see. When DS was there yesterday there were two people working on laptops and two different meetings going on (it was really quiet yesterday - Easter hols maybe?) so DS said he felt like he fitted in with his mug of squash and "working" on his phone with me. It was so lovely to hear. I always took him to work with me before he started school as I am lucky to have a job that allowed me to do that. As he got older he hated people telling him how much he's grown and how cute he was as a baby etc. All the normal things adults tell children they've known for a long time. He loved how he just blended in yesterday as most people didn't know him as they are not really connected to me at all apart from the fact they use the building. 

DD had her friends around. They started arriving from about 9am and left almost 12hours later! They were really good though. We barely heard them. Well til about 8pm when they decided to sack off the films and sing and dance to music instead. We are so lucky we don't have neighbours!!!  

starnac

This past month has been a struggle to be honest. I feel so overwhelmed with everything. I think it all comes back to the death of my friend. He's been in my life for ever and now he's gone. The funeral was the day after my birthday, over a month after he'd died, and everything has felt really cr@ppy since. I have no enthusiasm for anything. I feel like nothing matters so what's the point? 

It's all been getting on top of me so I've made some decisions that I hope will help everything seem more manageable. I've contacted my PT asking if I can drop to 2 days a week instead of 3. I'm struggling to fit that and my running in and I end up not wanting to do either so if I drop one session then it will ease the load a bit. 

I've had a good look at our finances and we need to sort out our life insurance. We currently have two separate policies (it's a long story) but it's probably time we re evaluated them into one. We sorted out the re mortgage for this house which was in desperate need of doing as our monthly payment was due to double when this fixed rate deal finishes in the summer.  

So little baby steps but it all helps me feel that I do still have some kind of control of my life lol!

Karmacat

Sorry to hear you're struggling, starnac - but you know, that's the grief of bereavement, not a failing.  Please be kind to yourself - its a good idea to sort life insurance, of course, and re-balance what you're doing as well, whether temporary or permanent.

starnac

Hi KC. Thank you for your lovely reply. Much appreciated. 

I plan to make a list today so that I get things done rather than faff about. 

*Run dishwasher using free electric
*Bake treats for the kids' lunchboxes
*Plant some herbs
*Make space downstairs in sewing room for table
*Meal plan for the rest of the week
*Clean out second freezer ready for batch cooking
*PT later
*Run club
*Box up eggs for work colleagues tomorrow

Think that'll do for now. It's just started to rain here so the jobs for outside will have to wait. I have plenty to do inside anyway.  

starnac

Well there was a few things on that list that I didn't get done and can go on the list for today/this week. 

We have lovely sunshine here already so I have pottered about in the garden when I went out to sort the chickens. It's so nice seeing my veg finally start sprouting. I was worried that nothing would come of the seeds I'd planted. 

We did buy some courgette plants over the weekend though. DH saw them advertised on marketpl4ce for 80p each so messaged and we picked up 5 plants Saturday evening. As long as we have the plants for the actual veg it doesn't matter whether I grew them from seed or not! 

DH was actually supposed to be looking for a rucksack for DD. She's off on her first DofE expedition at the end of the month and the list of things she needs is huge! Luckily we can repurpose a lot of my running stuff. Seems that the DofE essential kit list is very similar to ultra essential kit list But the backpack she needs is much bigger than what I would carry during an ultra, for obvious reasons, so she needed one. DH found one "used once" (DofE expedition maybe??? ) so we picked that up too. 

starnac

list for today/this week:

*Move table downstairs to sewing room
*Clean out small freezer
*Meal plan
*Shop from the list
*Plant sweetpeas with DD
*Sort out wool to see if I have enough for a cardigan
*Check banks (DH payday today)
*Move money around

I will probably add to this list over the week too

starnac

Ooh didn't get much done on that list! Lol! Never mind. We had a busy week here. DD has had exams and is quite stressed. She also has a DofE expedition coming up this week so we went for a recce of the walk they will take to make sure she was happy with her kit and she had a basic knowledge of the route. It was a really lovely walk. Even DS told me he enjoyed it which is something! 

Today I am working from home so will use the time to potter around the house doing little jobs in my breaks. We've done quite a bit in the garden over the past week (while the sun was shining) but it still needs more doing. Also we may have neglected the house a bit while we were outside doing jobs.  

Hope you all had a lovely weekend in the sunshine. 

starnac

Yesterday was quite productive. I seem to work better when I have a set time limit rather than all day to get something done. As I was doing things in my breaks I got quite a lot done. 

*Clean out small freezer
*Pattern for DS jumper
*Clean kitchen
*Workout
*Check banks
*Dishwasher on with free electricity
*Cut out and sew jumper
*Dye hair

I am working from home again today. I've got some things I need to get ready for kids club this evening. DD wants to dye my hair. She did it last time after mocking me for getting dye on the bath the time before. She told my mum it looked like a murder scene!! It did not but she loved telling my mum that! So I said if she thought she could do a better job she was welcome to try, so she did. And she did a pretty good job of it. It has started to grow out again now and you can see my *ahem* natural highlights coming through so was planning on dyeing it today. But DD wants to do it again so that will have to wait til this evening. No problems.

I want to get DS's jumper cut out and sewn today or tomorrow as I may not have enough time today. I have had the fabric for ages but he has just discovered it and asked for a jumper. I might have to make it the next size up ready for after summer. Or of course, I may just jinx this weather!

My garden is loving the weather. DH finally succumbed and mowed the grass. He made it 20 days through May before losing his patience Next year I think he'll mow it on 30th April before No Mow May starts! 

Our veg is coming along nicely. I'm really pleased as this is the first ever year I've been able to actually plant them in the ground. So fingers crossed we'll have a nice harvest. 

starnac

We didn't end up dyeing my hair after. DD is going on her first DofE expedition tomorrow so after kids club we had a quick run to an outdoor shop to buy last minute things she had changed her mind on then after tea which was pretty late by this point, her and DH packed her bag. She took it to school this morning for the teacher to check in after school club this evening then it'll stay in school until tomorrow when they go. 

I just need to finish the t shirt that I'm making her to wear tomorrow. I hope she likes it but you never know. Teenagers are a fickle bunch! 

EssexHebridean

How on earth had I failed to notice that you had a diary running again?! Doh!  Subscribe box now firmly ticked!

Good luck to DD for her DofE expedition - what an exciting thing to be venturing into! She's got a great role model in you for doing adventurous things though so I'm not surprised she's wanting to do stuff like that. 

It's great hearing about all your plans for the house and garden - particularly as we will hopefully before ALL that long have a garden of our own to think about...although nothing like as sizeable as yours (which I think for us is probably a good thing!) I'm also feeling your love for the whole home office thing - that was one of the real driving forces behind our move as we're fed up with not having space for work stuff that doesn't impact on useable space elsewhere. It will be amazing to have somewhere suitable for MrEH to work and for us to do voluntary role stuff too, without constantly having the table cluttered with that!