Have you been an Executor and would you do it again?

JGB1955

It's definitely a case of 'do you know everything about the deceased's financial status'....otherwise you are fishing in the dark.  My father died last year but I already had POA for him, so knew everything about his finances.  Getting probate was easy (despite the antics of Equiniti).  I hope never to have to be an executor again but, if so, it will be for my husband.  Annoyingly he THINKS he has an audit trail of all of his income/expenditure/stocks/shares... but I'm not convinced.  It's all contained in random notebooks in our safe.  If we died simultaneously our children would have a nightmare of a task.... no thanks to my husband!  Must try and educate him in the new year...

DancingBadger

I think the answer to your question is, "How long is a piece of string?"  As others have said, if the estate is relatively uncomplicated, obtaining probate should be straightforward.  If you can follow the guidelines (actually, instructions) to complete the form, as well as keep detailed records of monies received and paid out, you will save a small fortune in legal fees.  You'll also need to keep the paperwork for 20 years in case of any queries (no doubt someone here will be able to confirm the timescale).

Bear in mind if you're unsure about any aspect of the probate journey you can ask (and pay) for legal advice without instructing solicitors to undertake the whole process.

Finally, if you do agree to be an executor and subsequently feel unable to undertake the task when the time comes, you can formally renounce your duties by completing a simple Deed of Renunciation - as long as you haven't started any part of the probate process.

Marcon

Bettiboppa said:

So my brother in law lost his wife earlier this year and so is having his will rewritten. He has asked me to be Executor. I am happy to do it for him but my husband (his brother) thinks it's far too much responsibility to take on. His wife was Executor to their (brothers) Father when he passed and DH keeps reminding me how much "work" she had to do and how she "ran around" for months. 
I have to admit that I do procrastinate and often leave things to the last minute but ultimately things get done and sorted in the timescale that's set out and I'm very level headed although DH thinks I'm scatter brained and wouldn't cope. I deal with all our household finances and though he might say scatter brained he couldnt tell you who our gas supplier is or who our insurance is. I'd say it's organised chaos.

Might be no bad thing to listen to your husband, not least because he is your husband and he knows and loves you. Your self-assessment comments above don't bode well for doing the job efficiently and promptly and you could be setting yourself up for a whole load of work and grief, never mind friction, that. you really don't need.

Skiddaw1

I've done it three times. Twice was under the English system (parents) and once for a dear friend who was living in Scotland. Whilst I did all the leg work myself (with some help from my husband) I did employ a solicitor in relation to my Scotish friend (partly because I was living at some distance from her at the time and partly because her affairs were slightly complicated for various reasons). I'd do it again but I'd echo what has been said- you do need to be organised and you'll probably find that however organised the deceased was, there'll be something that causes a few headaches (and you'll almost certainly encounter some institutions that won't play ball without a certain amount of cage-rattling). Having said that, I do think you should believe in youself OP, despite what your husband says, because if my experience is anything to go by, you'll have a real sense of achievement when you've completed the process. I also found it a privilege to have been asked, and a comfort to know it was the last thing I could do for them.

Marvel1

Your husband is only saying this as you say he hasn't a clue about his own household bills! Says it all really.

Gavin83

I have to be honest I wouldn’t be an executor for a will I wasn’t also a beneficiary of. It’s just too much work and too much potential hassle to take on.

My wife was named as executor of a will she wasn’t a beneficiary of and she hadn’t even been informed she’d been named as an executor. Unsurprisingly she renounced.

Thrugelmir

Yes I would do it again, twice so far. As form filling etc isn't an issue for me personally. Though I would have had no hesitation in using specialist advice if I felt the need to. 

74jax

JGB1955 said:

It's definitely a case of 'do you know everything about the deceased's financial status'....otherwise you are fishing in the dark.  My father died last year but I already had POA for him, so knew everything about his finances.  Getting probate was easy (despite the antics of Equiniti).  I hope never to have to be an executor again but, if so, it will be for my husband.  Annoyingly he THINKS he has an audit trail of all of his income/expenditure/stocks/shares... but I'm not convinced.  It's all contained in random notebooks in our safe.  If we died simultaneously our children would have a nightmare of a task.... no thanks to my husband!  Must try and educate him in the new year...

I agree with this. I've been executor for mam and dad, both I had POA for and knew their finances inside out. 

My husband has solicitors for his Will, he said to save me the trouble as he has trusts, shares, pensions, savings here there and everywhere, property etc. I wouldn't know where to even start - I don't even know 1 savings account! I really wouldn't want to tackle that whilst going through grief... 

Keep_pedalling

74jax said:

JGB1955 said:

It's definitely a case of 'do you know everything about the deceased's financial status'....otherwise you are fishing in the dark.  My father died last year but I already had POA for him, so knew everything about his finances.  Getting probate was easy (despite the antics of Equiniti).  I hope never to have to be an executor again but, if so, it will be for my husband.  Annoyingly he THINKS he has an audit trail of all of his income/expenditure/stocks/shares... but I'm not convinced.  It's all contained in random notebooks in our safe.  If we died simultaneously our children would have a nightmare of a task.... no thanks to my husband!  Must try and educate him in the new year...

My husband has solicitors for his Will, he said to save me the trouble as he has trusts, shares, pensions, savings here there and everywhere, property etc. I wouldn't know where to even start - I don't even know 1 savings account! I really wouldn't want to tackle that whilst going through grief... 

That is going to very expensive. It seems very foolish of him to keep you in the dark about his finances, what happens if through accident or illness he looses the ability to manage them?

Much better for him to be open about his finances, make you an executor and to make a LPA to make you an attorney in case he looses capacity. You can always appoint a solicitor to help if required.

74jax

Keep_pedalling said:

74jax said:

JGB1955 said:

It's definitely a case of 'do you know everything about the deceased's financial status'....otherwise you are fishing in the dark.  My father died last year but I already had POA for him, so knew everything about his finances.  Getting probate was easy (despite the antics of Equiniti).  I hope never to have to be an executor again but, if so, it will be for my husband.  Annoyingly he THINKS he has an audit trail of all of his income/expenditure/stocks/shares... but I'm not convinced.  It's all contained in random notebooks in our safe.  If we died simultaneously our children would have a nightmare of a task.... no thanks to my husband!  Must try and educate him in the new year...

My husband has solicitors for his Will, he said to save me the trouble as he has trusts, shares, pensions, savings here there and everywhere, property etc. I wouldn't know where to even start - I don't even know 1 savings account! I really wouldn't want to tackle that whilst going through grief... 

That is going to very expensive. It seems very foolish of him to keep you in the dark about his finances, what happens if through accident or illness he looses the ability to manage them?

Much better for him to be open about his finances, make you an executor and to make a LPA to make you an attorney in case he looses capacity. You can always appoint a solicitor to help if required.

It's not so much in the dark, everything is in the filing cabinet if I choose to look, my plan is just to box the whole drawer up and pass to the solicitor.....

You are right though, about if he has an accident and the managing of them. 

I'm one of these people who likes to update my Will and keep on top of changes. He only made a Will a few years ago and that was with a LOT of persuasion from me. 

His sister is a main beneficiary and I'm not sure she'd want to be executor, he didn't mention her to me when we were talking about executors, but did say the solicitors name to me and that he thought hard about me being an executor (after I did my dad's) but didn't want to stress me out.  I'm honestly not bothered about it and am a control freak, so think I'd deal better being in charge of what is going on, but a Will is a very personal choice and I get where he is coming from.