Have you been an Executor and would you do it again?

Bettiboppa

So my brother in law lost his wife earlier this year and so is having his will rewritten. He has asked me to be Executor. I am happy to do it for him but my husband (his brother) thinks it's far too much responsibility to take on. His wife was Executor to their (brothers) Father when he passed and DH keeps reminding me how much "work" she had to do and how she "ran around" for months. 
I have to admit that I do procrastinate and often leave things to the last minute but ultimately things get done and sorted in the timescale that's set out and I'm very level headed although DH thinks I'm scatter brained and wouldn't cope. I deal with all our household finances and though he might say scatter brained he couldnt tell you who our gas supplier is or who our insurance is. I'd say it's organised chaos.
I've looked into as much as possible and feel I would manage to do it and would view it as a "job" and obviously would take it very seriously but DH's adamant it's too much.
There is only 4 of us left here in the family, DH, DS, DBIL and me. There is another brother and sister in law but they're in NZ. 
So anyone have any insight to the "human" side of being an Executor? How stressful, time consuming, was it? Would you do it again? 
Thanks

Alter_ego

Yes twice. I'd do it anytime. You just need to be able to precisely answer questions on forms

SeniorSam

Executors can appoint firms who just arrange the Probate side or more if you wish. Many firms have fixed prices, the Co-Op is one. You only have to have a chat and see what they cost if you dont want the form filling, but its far cheaper if you do it yourself

Bettiboppa

I think this is the reason he's asking me to do it so that his estate doesn't get "eaten" away at with fees. Have absolutely no idea how these things are charged, a set fee, a percentage or an hourly administration cost etc.
He hasn't said wether we'd be beneficiary's or anything either so don't even know if I would have to pay anything upfront out of my own pocket as it were. 

Keep_pedalling

I have been an executor 3 times, but only one required probate and I am more than happy to do it again. 

It’s interesting that your husband has a pretty low opinion of your capability to do this but your BIL has chosen you rather than him as his executor. As there does not appear to be a younger generation to act as executor your BIL should at least appoint a back-up executor in case you die first or you no longer have the mental capacity to do it when the time comes.

Have you got your own wills in place? If not this should be a on your priority list along with LPAs.

Savvy_Sue

I've done it twice, and would generally do it again - I'd want to avoid estates where there was eg a valuable or specialised collection of something or other to dispose of (and yes, we have at least one such estate within the family). 

I would want to know - at least in general terms - where the money was going, and would decline if I could see any particular problems. For example we recently had someone on here talking about leaving a legacy to a long-lost niece, last known of in Australia. And my siblings were very well behaved with the two wills I've co-executed: if I knew there would be trouble, I'd decline (or renounce if appointed). 

One of my siblings has asked if any of 'the younger generation' would agree to be their executor, and my suggestion was that it would be useful to get to know each other a little bit. 

You could point out to your husband that if it does all get to be too much, you've got the ability to engage a professional for any bits you want to. But presumably a lot of the 'work' is involved in clearing and selling the house, and while I'd recommend a professional house clearance service, you have to do a certain amount before calling them in. 

Murphy_The_Cat

OP, if the affairs for your BiL are straightforward, with everything "in order", it isn't to onerous a task and realistically shouldn't take a great deal of your time.

Alternatively, if your BiL's affairs are complex, with multiple investments/sources of income/properties, combined with poor administration, you could have a real tiger by the tail that takes up a LOT of your time.

I'm currently an Executor of an Estae that's coming upto the 3rd anniversary of the person passing away and it has taken a great deal of my time.

Without sounding to mercenary, unless there's something "in it for you" or you are philinthropic with your time, give it some deep thought - it can be very stressful and take up a huge amount of time, plus you are unlikely to get as much as a thank you from the benificiaries.

JJ_Egan

Yes and yes to the question .

But in both cases it was a simple estate to administrate with no hurry .

SiliconChip

I'm doing it for the first time at the moment, I'd say there are two key things:

1) Be very organised

2) Have at least some understanding of the deceased's estate before agreeing to do it.

On 1) you don't sound like your husband describes you, so I think you could do it, but in the interests of marital harmony you might want to consider declining anyway. On 2) you would have time to discuss the estate with your BIL and I'd suggest asking if you could review the Will before agreeing to be named as Executor in case there are any complications built-in.

SevenOfNine

Over the years 4 times, 2 with no will & 2 with. 3 had houses to sell, all the estates were below IHT threshold & all deceased & beneficiaries lived in England.

It wasn't necessary to consult a solicitor for any of them & it wasn't that hard, only daunting & a learning curve the first time!  That is an option if necessary though.

BUT, are you an 'admin' person, organised & like unravelling things, good with paperwork, spreadsheets, invoices, payments, form filling, on the phone etc.

Bit tricky if partner might undermine your self confidence though!

zagfles

Never been an executor but have helped (aka done most of the work) for the executors a couple of times. Both intestate, both straightforwards, where the spouse/family understood the deceased's finances well and the beneficiaries were all amicable. It wasn't stressful, just a case of sorting through paperwork and getting all the required info, both were done within 3 months.

I wouldn't do it if the estate was complicated, eg foreign property/assets, trusts, or there was a complicated will, or if the deceased was rubbish with money and there was the possibility of loans coming out of the woodwork, or if there was any bad feeling between beneficiaries, or potential for anyone to challenge the will.