Single mum to 5, striving for debt free life

Jill12 · 6 December 2021 at 9:36PM

Wow honeysucklelou2, 8 children is amazing, you are a true legend!

Many thanks EllaRedRose xx

Monday is always a busy and expensive time. School dinners to pay for, coming to £30, diesel for the car, £70. I have not managed a large shopping so far this week as the weekend was a jam packed one. So £15 at the local grocers for milk, cereal, dog door and crisps for snack. Hmmm, quite easy to see how I become skint so quickly!! On a positive note I got the Christmas tree out of the loft, much to the kiddies delight. I just now need to actually put it up!!! Dinner was healthy sausages, onion rings and some frozen veg, followed by a large bag of orange chocolate smarties which I unashamedly inhaled all to myself 🤭

Jill12 · 7 December 2021 at 8:31AM

A NSD is a rather foreign concept to me but one I am keen to try out! Tuesday is a busy day with kids going to darts between 6 and 9 tonight. I have a full day with patients to see and learning updates that need completed at work. Also have no idea yet what is for dinner, there is a withered broccoli and cauliflower that might be suitable to make soup with if I can pop home at lunchtime and make it. I will set a spend of £15 today and that should cover club costs tonight and anything else that might be needed. Happy Tuesday folks xx

CL21 · 7 December 2021 at 8:51AM

Happy Tuesday! Soup sounds good - I love that combo with a load of cheddar thrown in (cheese makes everything better 😆)

NSD are alien to me as well but like you keen to give it a go. Still trying to get a hang of the rules - include essential spends or not - but hoping for ten this month

Jill12 · 7 December 2021 at 9:55PM

Well I managed to pop home and make soup, positive! £15, nope, no chance. £5 for darts club but £23.50 in Tesco as I bought a Christmas party dress and pepperoni pizza for my son, so £28.50 all together However, now have enough soup to feed the street for a week and saved a bunch of veg from the compost heap. Good result minus the £8.50 over spend. I was gifted a lovely bottle of wine and chocolate from a patient today which melted my heart. So my so, yuck soup had the happy company of wine which made my spirit sing, it is the small gestures in life that count xx

Jill12 · 7 December 2021 at 9:57PM

CL21, if only I had not eaten all the cheese for lunch yesterday 🤣

CL21 · 7 December 2021 at 10:26PM

Ha ha, it’s so tempting when it’s just sat there in the fridge isn’t it?! 🤣

Jill12 · 8 December 2021 at 7:56AM

It sometimes takes me a while to process where I want to be going to I hoped this diary could help me understand my thinking a bit more clearly. I always find this time of year, one of reflection on the year gone by. Six years ago on Christmas day I ended a 16 year relationship and walked away from what everyone else thought was the perfect life. I had a large family home, 5 happy kids, the perfect husband that worked all the hours God could send to provide for his family. I had supportive inlaws and parents and perfect friends I saw and entertained every weekend. But inside I was dying and desperate to escape. We were up to our eyeballs in debt, my hubby was gambling and we had no to money to buy the kids presents for Christmas and my in laws were so heavily involved in my marriage I often wondered who I was actually married too. The thing was, I thought if only I was better, more beautiful, more thin, better at managing money then somehow my life would be perfect. The truth was I was never going to be good enough!! My absolute final straw was broken on Christmas Day 2015 when my mother in law was moaning about a ham joint I had cooked and I discovered another gambling debt, that hubby denied was his- so I was just imagining the debt. I cant quite tell you how that made me question my sanity and I wondered if I was imagining it all. My mouth fell silent and I was unable to speak, I physically could not open my mouth to talk, my last bit of self esteem had died. At that point I decided I has to leave or I was not going to survive. Fast forward 6 months and I had saved £1000 and I moved out. My mum paid a deposit on a house I could rent and I took the money and furnished the house from second hand places. I left everything behind of my old life apart from the kids clothes. Since then I have put myself through university to become a nurse, bought and renovated a house, divorced my hubby and made a wonderful, happy life for myself, children and wee dog. He stills see the kids every second weekend and that is plenty!! Sadly I lost my biggest supporter in January to cancer, my wee mum. She was just awesome and so, so proud of me.

So, now that is out, I feel tackling this debt should be another obstacle I can tackle head on. I have taken some turkey mince out of the freezer to make spag bal for tonight's dinner but will need to spend some money on essentials for the fridge. I will set a goal of £20 to spend today. Have a lovely day folk xx

CL21 · 8 December 2021 at 8:03AM

Wow, you’ve come so far! It takes a lot of courage to walk away from a marriage, especially when you have kids, but it sounds like you absolutely made the best decision and have gone on from strength to strength. I’m sure it’s been a hard journey emotionally though and I’m so sorry to hear about your mum x