Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

girlatplay

I'm glad it's not just me with the dishwasher thing.  Where do they all come from?

jwil

Hope the work meeting goes well, and the counsellor.  I agree that life is just effort sometimes!

beanielou

Life is sometimes hard work indeed.

lucielle

Hope you had a good session with your counselling. 

L

savingholmes

Alchemilla said:

I really hear you on everyday life being a struggle. It sounds like you do loads despite that.
Have you had your hair done yet? xxx

I do do loads - unfortunately if I'm not careful I'm more aware of what I haven't done that what I have. This diary - helps me see the positives not just the negatives.

Saturday is hairdresser day. I'm hoping that someone who promised to collect something Friday actually comes - bringing their £12 as it all helps. I'll still do it regardless but at £65 it's not cheap...

Lookafterthepennies2020 said:

Its so unhealthy and unrealistic that we are supposed to live these healthy lives with 30mins exercise a day, three square meals inc 5 a day, have spotless homes and yet go to work long enough to fund all these!!  If you can do one thing a day that improves your life in some way, your progressing!  

Well said. This is what I am trying to say - which is why I'm trying to be honest about what doesn't get done as well as what does - to normalise it - and say that I have help rather than being some mystical super-human.

I have done my balance class tonight and feel better for it. I have another one tomorrow night all being well. Last week I really felt a positive difference in my neck and shoulders after doing it. I'm struggling with wrist movements currently - and yet I did really well at a 3 legged dog with my leg at some weird angle... Bodies are weird!!!

The Christmas tree is now bare but not yet in its box. Still progress. All the rest bar one garland is now in the xmas decs box. I'm planning to only keep what fits in the (huge) box plus the xmas tree plus a shooting star. That still means at least a carrier bag full of decs will be leaving the house. I've already made that bag up.

Me_v_The_Mortgage_Mountain said:

Hi @savingholmes, I've managed to find your diary! 

Our situations are so similar, I too took on my largest ever mortgage (£131k) following divorce, IO payments of £145 but I'm overpaying an additional £750pm, it's due to run for the next 18 years by which time I'll be 70, however if I can keep up the overpayments I'll be 64... Only 1 child of 3 still at home, DD...  I found it really liberating and empowering doing things on my own and soon realised life was much easier without the ex and my financial situation improved significantly!  Since the divorce I have met my new partner, we are engaged but the house is still in my name and will remain that way, he is totally on board with this.

Re clothing hoards... I had a really good clear out after my divorce, I lost over 2 stone very quickly and dropped a few dress sizes.  I resolved to only buy new items that were good quality and I truly loved, however, fast forward 3 years and my wardrobe is bulging again and I probably only wear 15/20% of what is in there, especially since the pandemic has practically wiped out any socialising.  I really need to have a thorough sort out but it's having the time and inclination!

Welcom MvTMM. It is reading diaries of people like yours that help me believe I can do it too. Good luck with DD getting uni places. I will make more mortgage progress in 1 year post divorce than I have in the last 15!! I can't currently imagine having another partner - but maybe that will change at some point. Weirdly I could picture it more while going through the divorce than I can right now... No rush. Absolutely zero rush. I want to experience what it is like to be single and get my house sorted and DD and DS established as independent adults. I also want to work on myself so if I do end up in another relationship I don't repeat the same mistakes / or allow others to repeat patterns.

Sadly, I'm someone that tends to gain rather than lose weight due to stress. I find with clothes you have to constantly keep clearing them out or they just accumulate. You'll sort the clothes when it matters to you enough. In the same way, at some point I'm hoping to get my diet more under control. I'm trying this week but not weighed myself for a few days so not tested yet if it is working.

savingholmes

girlatplay said:

I'm glad it's not just me with the dishwasher thing.  Where do they all come from?

Definitely not just you GAP. They multiply in the ether somewhere. I'm going to keep working on reducing the amount of crockery etc we have -  and thus limit the max size of the job!! I already had - but think I need to go further.

beanielou said:

Life is sometimes hard work indeed.

Hope you are okay. I am very grateful to have a cleaner to help share the load. I'd struggle without her.

lucielle said:

Hope you had a good session with your counselling. 

L

jwil said:

Hope the work meeting goes well, and the counsellor.  I agree that life is just effort sometimes!

Thanks @lucielle and @jwil . The counselling session went well. I always come out of it feeling encouraged. I'm glad I have the stability of it too - a place to vent and have adult conversations that I'd otherwise struggle to have. I really hope my work meeting goes well too. I've been promised a regrade for years and it's not happened as something always came along to derail it. I want to do all I can to make this the year - and if that doesn't work - I may have to explore other options - but I'd rather stay as I like the people and it's close to home, good pension, benefits, job security etc.

I'm going in the office tomorrow and then we're due to go off-site for our chat somewhere less formal. I will also need to fill up with fuel at some point. The prices have inched down very slightly but are still super high. Tomorrow my BG thing goes through for the electric - so hopefully I can submit a meter reading and at least understand how much I'm currently spending. I still need to ring Sh311 back as I asked for a callback that didn't happen. [roll eyes].

Must remember to take my will in tomorrow and get it witnessed... So much life admin!!! One day it will reduce right?

Nearly the weekend guys. Hope you are having good weeks... Will go and visit a few diaries before bed...

DancingInTheRain

Hope the work meeting goes well for you and you get the outcome you hope for. I really admire you and your honesty on here, the way you've coped & are now thriving with such a big change in your life (while in the midst of a pandemic!) You're very inspiring and generous as shown with the support & encouragement you give to many of us here too and yes, I believe the life admin will reduce one day! X

MovingForwards

Like admin does reduce, you've still got the flurry to get through and that's it aside from occasional checks.

To put a different slant on work, when there's an overall good package eg the work, people and benefits, it's not always easy to find it in another place and something has to meet a compromise. In your position I'd leave it for a while. Build up savings and confidence, find yourself more, settle into a routine, budgeting and you'll know when it's the right time.

girlatplay

On the Christmas decs subject, when we pulled ours out last month it turned out that we had got rid of a whole load the year before and had it down to one box and one bag, plus tree.  We remember talking about it, although can't really remember doing it, but we were quite delighted.  It was so much easier to put them up/take them down this time around.  Sort them out now and you'll thank yourself in December.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Hi savings hope the work meeting is positive for you