Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

savingholmes

Hi @Tahlullah.H Like you I find it a lot easier to pack the dishwasher if someone has already emptied it - so often split the task. I managed both today - but now it needs emptying again and I'm like... really???

I did chat a little to a neighbour earlier too. She was feeling quite meh and was relieved to hear it was normal this time of year. 

beanielou

If it would help I think you should pay your cleaner to give you a hand with the decluttering 

Tahlullah.H

savingholmes said:

Hi @Tahlullah.H Like you I find it a lot easier to pack the dishwasher if someone has already emptied it - so often split the task. I managed both today - but now it needs emptying again and I'm like... really???

Sneaks up on you doesn't it?  A bit like Stone Angels.  Look away and the dishwasher is full, waiting to be emptied!

MovingForwards

The walk looked good, nothing like hearing nature to bring calm.
It could work paying your cleaner, she knows you, the trust is there and she'd probably appreciate some extra money.
Good luck with your meeting and the counselling will help clear any stuck issues.

EssexHebridean

A couple of thoughts. You have two wardrobes, but “probably” only enough clothes for one. Would a starting point be to completely empty one, then challenge yourself to pick up 10 items per day and look at the properly - do you wear them? Do you enjoy wearing them (for whatever reason - comfort, style, does the pattern make you smile, do they make you feel amazing) - really think through the emotions they provoke. Right now I’d suggest anything from indifference up is OK, but if they make you feel sadness or guilt I’d say they need to go.  Either way - this could be a good way of getting wearable clothes that you are happy to put on and wear into one of the wardrobes, and make it easier to actually get the things you have, away. 

Second thing - items like ball gowns date REALLY badly. It might be worth laying the three dresses out on your bed and taking a properly critical look at them. Assuming they fitted you right now, and you were invited to an event to wear them tomorrow, would they still be suitable? Are you intending to go to the sorts of events that they would suit again in the future, or is that something that past you did, but current you wouldn’t fancy so much?  That could prompt a decision about whether you really want them taking up space in a box that would take art supplies, or other creative stuff. 

savingholmes

Tahlullah.H said:

savingholmes said:

Hi @Tahlullah.H Like you I find it a lot easier to pack the dishwasher if someone has already emptied it - so often split the task. I managed both today - but now it needs emptying again and I'm like... really???

Sneaks up on you doesn't it?  A bit like Stone Angels.  Look away and the dishwasher is full, waiting to be emptied!

I love it - exactly like that!!

MovingForwards said:

Good luck with your meeting and the counselling will help clear any stuck issues.

Thanks MF - yes every time I consider scaling back my counsellor - I realise why I value her all over again.

EssexHebridean said:

A couple of thoughts. You have two wardrobes, but “probably” only enough clothes for one. Would a starting point be to completely empty one, then challenge yourself to pick up 10 items per day and look at the properly - do you wear them? Do you enjoy wearing them (for whatever reason - comfort, style, does the pattern make you smile, do they make you feel amazing) - really think through the emotions they provoke. Right now I’d suggest anything from indifference up is OK, but if they make you feel sadness or guilt I’d say they need to go....  

Second thing - items like ball gowns date REALLY badly. It might be worth laying the three dresses out on your bed and taking a properly critical look at them. Assuming they fitted you right now, and you were invited to an event to wear them tomorrow, would they still be suitable? Are you intending to go to the sorts of events that they would suit again in the future, or is that something that past you did, but current you wouldn’t fancy so much?  That could prompt a decision about whether you really want them taking up space in a box that would take art supplies, or other creative stuff. 

Hi EH - I've kind of done a version of that. The stuff I'm confident fits me and is wintery I've put in the left hand wardrobe - and the other stuff I've left in the right hand one. I'm not aware of them provoking sadness or guilt - other than for being overweight... hmmm need to think about that one more. I have plenty of room in my wardrobes - I just wonder whether baskets may work better for me regardless...

The ball/evening gowns - one is a beautiful 2 colour dress - think iridescent - a Cinderella style dress (I don't mean net - I mean shape of the skirt). Then I have a beautiful long low back dress - I don't think that would date necessarily although whether it would look as nice on older skin as it did on younger is up for debate. Then I have an unusual two piece outfit - in kind of a sea green colour with autumn colours in some flowers in the one shoulder top... I don't really care too much about fashion - more about whether a colour and style suits me. They were designer rather than from a chain when I bought them. The stuff on ebay all look like flimsy knock offs rather than being of a similar quality of material. I have fond memories of wearing them. The closest to fitting me in the sea green type one and then the turquoise one and then the emerald purple lined one...   I have oodles of space... It's more out of principle that I'm decluttering. They are the sort of thing that if I was slim enough I could imagine wearing on a cruise or to a charity ball.

They are also the sort of dress that the winners wear on the from of SW mag. I kind of like that idea.

savingholmes

Well I slept really badly last night 🌃 but I got up early and now my banisters are free of Xmas decs and I have started on the tree.

Did I mention everyday life can be a struggle? Trying to use my cleaner coming as motivation.

Last night I sorted through the stuff from the airing cupboard. I put a third back, am washing a third and may then give some of that away and already put aside a third to donate. 

Seeing my counselor later

Alchemilla

I really hear you on everyday life being a struggle. It sounds like you do loads despite that.
Have you had your hair done yet? xxx

Lookafterthepennies2020

Its so unhealthy and unrealistic that we are supposed to live these healthy lifes with 30mins excercise a day, three square meals inc 5 a day, have spotless homes and yet go to work long enough to fund all these!!  If you can do one thing a day that improves your life in some way, your progressing!  

Me_v_The_Mortgage_Mountain

Hi @savingholmes, I've managed to find your diary! 

Our situations are so similar, I too took on my largest ever mortgage (£131k) following divorce, IO payments of £145 but I'm overpaying an additional £750pm, it's due to run for the next 18 years by which time I'll be 70, however if I can keep up the overpayments I'll be 64 and that gives me a couple of years before I retire to save a bit of cash.  Only 1 child of 3 still at home, DD who is due to start Uni in September.  I found it really liberating and empowering doing things on my own and soon realised life was much easier without the ex and my financial situation improved significantly!  Since the divorce I have met my new partner, we are engaged but the house is still in my name and will remain that way, he is totally on board with this.

Re clothing hoards, I have no words of advice, I had a really good clear out after my divorce, I lost over 2 stone very quickly and dropped a few dress sizes.  I resolved to only buy new items that were good quality and I truly loved, however, fast forward 3 years and my wardrobe is bulging again and I probably only wear 15/20% of what is in there, especially since the pandemic has practically wiped out any socialising.  I really need to have a thorough sort out but it's having the time and inclination!

I'll follow your diary with interest 

MvTMM