Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

skint_spice

powerspowers said:

Well done on listening to what your brain and body need from this holiday. I’m a b*ugger for putting a lot of pressure on myself when I’m away to “make the most of it” and hitting a wall. Be easy on yourself x

Me too! Can’t stop, must keep going! Does you no good at all either.

jwil

I'm with you on the weight.  Remember all the things you can do, and you will build up to be able to do the things that aren't possible at the moment.  Small achievements are to be celebrated

savingholmes

Thanks @powerspowers @skint_spice @jwil

Had a relaxing day today. I read for a while. I edited my book 2 a little and added another 800 or so words. Making progress which feels good. I also did some art.

I've hardly spent anything while I'm away other than on food, clothes and parking. I will be taking some food back with me as I tend to over-buy! Oops. Once I get home I will work out what's left in the pot - I'd allowed around £150 plus extra fuel. A couple of items I bought yesterday clothes wise aren't right for me so I'll get those refunded - so that's at least £22.50 that will come back to me. From Mr A I got a pair of leggings for £5, a nightie for £7, a tunic type top for £12.50 and a hoodie for £14. Pretty pleased with that - I had £30 in my clothes pot and with the holiday underspend it will more than balance out. I plan to go across into Wales one day next week and see my fave garden. That will be a nice trip out £14 entry plus fuel (not currently a member) and possibly lunch out. I may use the underspend towards some birthday treats next month. I've got one night away booked so far but have been considering booking another night. I'm also due to see a friend one night next week so need to work out when and make sure I'm back on time if I go out.  

In other MSE news I am now on an £8 a month sim for 15gb of data for the next year hopefully if my phone lasts long enough. Took over an hour via online chat - no phone signal. I also got Dsny free for 3 months. It all helps.

I've had my home insurance quote through and it looks like I can get it for around £150. I've got two quotes so far. I need more info from DD to do a proper Go type quote as I don't know what her models of computer etc are and they seem to want to know. 

Hopefully on my way home I will pick up a FB glass desk top for £15 - the same design as my other one - need to get some cash out. I am hoping to just use it as a cover for my sit and stand desk or I may even use it on the kitchen table for now so the table doesn't get as ruined. With it being glass it's much easier to clean. I paid £38 for the first so I was very happy with the price!!

EssexHebridean

That’s a cracking mobile deal - could I ask which network? I’m paying just over £9 for 10gb plus unlimited calls/texts but looks like I ought to be reviewing that! 

On the health thing, work on the fitness and let the weight look after itself - that way you’re actually focusing more on health rather than using some of your energy in working on something that doesn’t necessarily immediately equal “healthier”. More movement, more strength, better sleep and working to reduce stress will all directly and immediately benefit health though - and are also things which will almost certainly improve your mental resilience as well - win win! 

Delighted to hear you’ve had such a lovely week - and that you have nice stuff planned for next week, too! 

savingholmes

Thanks EH. On MSE - you can find great mobile sim only deals. There are quite a few for £8 for 15gb - including ones that are monthly rather than 12 monthly contracts. You could then see if you can get a cashback deal elsewhere on the same deal.

I get what you mean about focusing on health - and my weight has stabilised but it isn't really dropping. It needs to - for my own self esteem and long term health. I'm most concerned about the health risks with my weight - given I weigh considerably more than I should!! I'm also above the weight limit for some activities I'd like to do - so I need to fix it. If my weight was all from eating healthy food - fair enough - but if I could get my craving for junk food under control the weight would soon drop off.

I've added another 500 or so words today to my story so pleased with that given the day isn't done.

In worse news the kettle lid came apart in my hands yesterday - It's a pull off one. Today I may have scratched the fridge door by opening it while the drawer was slightly open... Oops... I really hope I don't get any hassle over either when I leave.

MovingForwards

It takes time for the body to realise it's getting better, healthier food and movement, before the weight starts to creep down. Slow and steady otherwise your get fed up and undo everything you've started. Also, it's harder as we mature.

Try and save the 'treats' for weekends, but buy small packets or make your own and freeze some. 

Have a think if there's any way we can support, encourage and join you along the journey. Maybe provide food / recipe ideas?

savingholmes

Thanks MF. I'll let you know.

Gratitude

• I am blessed to have people in my life that care about me
• I am blessed to have had this pre-paid week away in a beautiful cottage with stunning views
• I am blessed to have a reliable car that had helped me make the trip and to be able to drive
• I am blessed that most people reversed for me rather than the other way around
• I am blessed to have money for food and for treats
• I am blessed to have a growing emergency fund
• I am blessed to have a well paid job with a DB pension that will give me good future choices - together with an AVC option that I now plan to explore
• I am blessed to have my own home
• I am blessed to be debt free other than a 5 year fixed price mortgage at a time when bills are going up at an unprecedented rate
• I am blessed to have next week off too so I can get some stuff done around the house and hopefully sell/declutter more stuff
• I am blessed to be in reasonable health and to be mobile and have improving flexibility
• I am blessed by discounted gym membership
• I am blessed by the NHS and other government services
• I am blessed by being multi-talented with a variety of hobbies and interests
• I am blessed by MSE and this forum in particular

Now I need to have a shower. Finish packing. Clean. Pack the car. Go home via FB house and pick up a desk top! (You know as you do!)

DD rang twice yesterday. She's enjoyed the peace without me too - although her ringing me suggests she missed me which is nice but unexpected. Hopefully the house is in a decent state. The cleaner should have helped with that. The oven is not yet mended!! Ah well it costs a lot to run - and she uses it a lot. It's probably saving me £. I may have to dig out the slow cooker at this rate! She has arranged for Ex to take her to work this week - and will go Monday night to ex-MILs. I will then pick her up closer to home on the Friday. That means I get a lie in which is fab. The sun has woken me up bright and early here.

savingholmes

I am home safely. Picked up my £15 bargain on the way home. DD asked me to detour to the chicken place. Still need her help bringing the desk top in from the car but other than that all good. Ex is going to take her out soon to allow her to drive and they are going out for tea. Once DD has helped me get some things from my car - I'm planning to go and eat at an Italian I like. I prefer to know what I'm going to eat before I go out... so this is still kind of a holiday treat even though it's happening once I'm home.

I've come back to a garden in full leaf and flower including a pretty pink flowered clematis which climbs my house out the front. Weeds also in full bloom

EssexHebridean

On the food stuff - maybe try switching your language about a bit. “Less nutritious food” rather than “junk food” is a good one to start with - no food is actually “junk” and by referring to it as such we can create guilt around the occasions when we choose to eat it. Creating or condoning a culture of “good” and “bad” around food and other rules like “I can only have X food in Y situation” can also lead to us ending up craving those foods more - I found exactly this with peanut butter, back in my full on disordered eating days I wouldn’t allow myself to have it in the house “because I might eat it all” and, sure enough, at the times when I did crack and buy a jar it would disappear in a matter of days because it was so long since I’d had it and I knew I wouldn’t “let” myself buy it again for ages. So I’d eat the jar inside a week, and feel horrifically guilty about it, and the cycle began again. Now I ALWAYS have a jar (or currently, a whacking great 1litre tin!) in the cupboard, I eat it on a slice of toast at the weekend - not because that’s when I’m allowed it, but purely because those are the days I eat toast for breakfast. If I have porridge I’ll sometimes dollop a spoonful on the top, and sometimes - shock horror - I’ll eat a spoonful straight from the jar! Despite all this, a jar now lasts ages, I really enjoy eating it, and I never find myself being tempted to binge my way through it - I don’t need to - it’s always there, and it’s not forbidden any more. 🤷🏻‍♀️ (And before you go there, it’s nothing to do with “willpower” - that’s diet culture that’s given you that message, it’s not actually true! 😉)  It frustrates me that society has created all these difficulties around food and eating for people - babies and children have none of these hang-ups,  it’s purely a societal and cultural thing, and mostly only in the West, I believe! I’ve found all this stuff fascinating since I’ve started learning it, and learning to question the way we are encouraged to classify food is probably the single biggest thing I’ve done to improve my own health - physical AND mental. Even now eating some things without looking at the calorie count of or fat content is still a huge step - there was something while we were on Lundy that I chose without even considering the calorie content and it was SUCH a big thing - and that’s best part of 4 years on from when I started trying to step towards intuitive eating. I’m getting there, but it really IS a work in progress. 

Glad you got home to find everything was good and how lovely that it seems as though DD was missing you - although I’m not sure why that would be surprising, I’d expect that she would! 

MovingForwards

That's a huge blessed list. You're sounding more refreshed and it's great you've another week off.

The weeds are plants in the wrong place, but the insects feast on them. When you're back to growing your own, a natural spot in the garden could well benefit endeavours. Seeing bees and ladybirds make a garden feel whole.

I understand where EssexHebridean is coming from. I've been watching a lot of old films / shows and saw how women used to look, natural and unbreakable, with curves being embraced and showcased. A body easier to maintain and to a certain extent eating well, but back then it was seasonal produce. 

Try not to develop a love / hate relationship with food as that's a difficult circle to break.

I do think when you're more settled and brushing away the guilt you carry, everything will fall into place. Be kind to yourself.