Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my partner rent?

Poormum · 17 November 2021 at 5:54PM

Not rent no, but he should be contributing towards food if he eats it, and electric/water if he uses it.

I had this problem with my ex. He stayed at mine the majority of the week, ate my food, washed, slept, used my electric. I’m already a single mum of one I didn’t need another person to provide for.

I actually found it very offensive that he didn’t even offer to contribute to the bill for the food that I was providing!

Fair to say you can see why he’s an ex!

Mojisola · 17 November 2021 at 7:43PM

cactuschild said:

sue.b_2 said:

Do you ever stay at his house? If so offer to do the food shopping occasionally and see what his response is. He may not have realised how you feel. I do think your relationship is ending if you need to ask this question here rather than raise it with him.

No - primarily because he shares with his three tenants (and my student days/days of house sharing are far behind me!!) and secondly because he only has a single mattress on the floor and a sleeping bag. My double bed is much more comfy!

So, as well as living off you, is he also claiming that these are lodgers so that he avoids all the laws that a landlord has to comply with?

HarrisMD2618 · 18 November 2021 at 2:06PM

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I'm in a long-term relationship, and though we don't live together he stays at my house more than half of each week. He has his own place provided through work, so pays minimal rent and household bills. As he stays at mine most of the time, should I charge him for rent and bills?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

Ignore everyone questioning your relationship. The moneymoraldilemma team can only post part of the information you sent so I imagine there is more to it than what is quoted above.

I'd suggest having a chat to your partner and suggest ; they contribute towards a difference in your bills, they chip in toward food and fun budgets, you split where you spend your time (half at their place, half at yours). My boyfriend lived at home and paid minimal rent but would stay with me from time to time. What I hadn't factored in was his travel costs to see me and having that open conversation was really helpful as we both saw each others perspective and worked to make things equitable. He understood that I earned less and paid out more so he would offer to pay for food out if I paid for drinks etc.

It's whatever works for you but it's not unreasonable to start having those conversations if you're already seeing an impact on the expenses

primrose_penguin · 18 November 2021 at 8:40PM

You say you are in a long term relationship so I think you should be having this chat with your boyfriend, unfortunately you do not give enough information whether he contributes at all to food etc. do you stay at his the rest of the week, do you find it difficult to pay the bills? You would be paying the same rent whether your boyfriend was staying with you or not, but if he does not offer to help you out by contributing towards expenses, especially as he pays a low rent himself and obviously has smaller bills by living at yours most of the time, it would worry me how caring he really is. To give him the benefit of the doubt perhaps it has not even crossed his mind, I would have a talk to him and explain you are having a problem making ends meet. You need to sort it out because if you move in together he might get a shock at how expensive the real cost of living is, he is being cushioned at the moment.