Missy’s Surviving the storm so we can dance in the rain.

Cheery_Daff

Aw Missy, have a hug ((((()))))) Things sound tough for you, you've sounded drained and struggling for a long time now. Your work does sound quite bitty, lots of time out of your day for maybe not many paid hours of work? I completely get trying to justify treats for yourself, but BB and bluegreen  are right, long term things will be better if you can find a way of treating yourself that doesn't involve spending xx

Hope you and OH can find a way to get some more rest and come up with a plan. You've already achieved a lot - you've bought your house! These are the most difficult years I'm sure, with small children and a new mortgage. You'll find a way, even if it's difficult in the shorter term.

All these little things help though - that's £12 you just didn't spend there, plus maybe a few coffee shop trips - well done! 😊

Love these boards, and how people can gently challenge us to think about what we're doing. Hope you can prioritise rest - it is SO hard to make good decisions or big changes when you're tired xx

Aspiration

Baileys_Babe said:

missymoo81 said:

I’d like to see if I can cobble together another £12 as the cat knocked the childrens cups off of the side and broke both of them. So I thought I would get 2 new ones and make them reusable plastic ones so that we can take them to C0sta and get double rewards! Which works out great! But I need to buy them. 

I am struggling to follow the logic here. You need to cobble together £12 to replace 2 cups so you can take them with you when you buy expensive treats to get better rewards.
In the short term can you afford to go to costa? Not from what you have said on here, so buying cups to use there at the moment makes no sense to me. Sounds like a good idea to invest in suitable cups when your finances are less precarious, for now, can you have anything suitable at home that you can use to save spending any money?

Patronising. 

Bluegreen143

Sending love @missymoo81 ❤️❤️❤️ Things do sound exhausting and stressful - you are doing so much. I hope that you and OH manage to get enough headspace to look at things together. I agree with you, it doesn’t sound sustainable.

missymoo81

Ah cheery you’re always such a ray of sunshine, popping in with hugs and nice thoughts.

You’re right it’s been a super tough time this last year generally, as it has been for so many people, but with the business taking such a battering because of the lockdowns and trying to manage staff and expectations it all just seems like such an uphill struggle, now we’re battling with the hige. My work is so bitty. I work 7 days a week in one form
or another. Much of it from home but it’s still work, or I’m backwards and forwards to work for an hour here and there. Which isn’t too bad if it’s combined with the school run but it’s still hours out of my day for around £25. I’m too tired to enjoy work or anything else for that matter. Really do need to take a long hard look at everything and try and come up with something that works. I’m playing with the idea of getting a job joining a service that’s 4 on 4 off. But I know childcare and school holidays would be a huge issue. Huge thoughts to be had.

missymoo81

Bluegreen143 said:

Sending love @missymoo81 ❤️❤️❤️ Things do sound exhausting and stressful - you are doing so much. I hope that you and OH manage to get enough headspace to look at things together. I agree with you, it doesn’t sound sustainable.

Thank you @Bluegreen143, just had a chat with OH were no further forward but we’re on the same page and aren’t arguing at all which is nice when things get hard and emotions run high sometimes that can happen and it makes things way worse. But we’ve got each other’s backs. The children have been super lovely and I managed to find some time to play a new board game we got for Christmas with them today and it was really good! 

Good points from today. I often take the children to a cafe after school and before work so that they don’t hVe to spend quite so long sitting around at work waiting for me to finish. But today I just took them home and OH looked after them whilst I went back and did my work. Also after work I really didn’t want to cook and I often get fish and chips on a Friday on my way home, but I grabbed some change and bought some eggs and we all had omelettes. I’m really trying.

missymoo81

Oh and now the car engine light is on abs is in limp mode 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Baileys_Babe

Life is really testing you both at the moment, glad you and OH talked and are on the same page even if you haven't come up with a solution. I am sure these are things you have thought of, is there anything you can rearrange so you can do your hours in bigger blocks? Can any of the work you do from home be done at work filling in some of the time between on-site sessions? Hopefully, these and other ideas would make your days less bitty. As an alternative to the post, you have mentioned it might be easier to find a job with set hours days which would give you some financial security and possibly make it easier to accommodate childcare needs if it was part-time you might find you could do it in conjunction with doing your current role part-time, which as the business grows and becomes more financially stable it would be easier for you to return to the business full-time.

How frustrating about the car and well done on avoiding both the coffee shop and the fish and chip shop.

jwil

missymoo81 said:

Ah cheery you’re always such a ray of sunshine, popping in with hugs and nice thoughts.

You’re right it’s been a super tough time this last year generally, as it has been for so many people, but with the business taking such a battering because of the lockdowns and trying to manage staff and expectations it all just seems like such an uphill struggle, now we’re battling with the hige. My work is so bitty. I work 7 days a week in one form
or another. Much of it from home but it’s still work, or I’m backwards and forwards to work for an hour here and there. Which isn’t too bad if it’s combined with the school run but it’s still hours out of my day for around £25. I’m too tired to enjoy work or anything else for that matter. Really do need to take a long hard look at everything and try and come up with something that works. I’m playing with the idea of getting a job joining a service that’s 4 on 4 off. But I know childcare and school holidays would be a huge issue. Huge thoughts to be had.

I think you've had great advice from the others.  It's clear that you are running around all the time.  It's not sustainable, particularly if it's 7 days a week.  You work so hard, yet for hours out of your day (because of all the travelling etc) you earn £25?  If it's a hobby/job and you really love it, then it may be worth it.  But otherwise you could work 3 hours in a minimum wage job and earn the same/more and gain all those hours back.  You could actually work more than that, and would have a regular income and never need to worry about unexpected tax bills.  As Bailey's babe says, you could combine part time work with your business so not have to stop doing it entirely.

Well done on avoiding the cafe and takeaway.  It is really hard to avoid taking the easy way out when you are shattered

Big hugs from me, I hope you have some rest this weekend.

missymoo81

Thank you @jwil and thank you @Baileys_Babe. I’m having a much more positive day today! Yesterday was tricky as OH was struggling mentally. You need such a thick skin when you work with the general public not to take things personally!

Im looking at my timetable. Trying to make things work a little better. Will come back with a plan later.

missymoo81

Ok I think I can work it so that I have 2-3 days off per week, it means 2 very full days and 3 partly bitty days that I can’t change but hopefully it should work. It should settle down in the next 2 months too. 

I am increasingly worried about our electricity and gas bill, it has already gone up astronomical amounts and I’ve just read it will go up again in April by another 50%. What are people planning to do about The huge hike, how are you planning to pick up the slack as I’m struggling to come up with ideas!