Separation from my girlfriend(unmarried). House/Mortgage advice.. 12 October 2021 at 9:00AM in MoneySaving dads 9 replies 939 views

Stvo8

Hi All, I am currently awaiting meetings with a Solicitor and Mortgage advisor but I wold be very grateful of a bit of info/help.

I will try and breakdown the key facts;

Not married or in a civil partnership but have been cohabiting for 10 years+ in England

Now separating (I moved out 4 months ago and have continued to pay all the household bills whilst I stay elsewhere)

We share an 11 year-old child together (CSA not an issues as this is black and white financially)

Almost 9 years into the mortgage, due to remortgage in 2 months time.

Ex wants to stay in the family home until our son is 18 (in 7 years) which she says her solicitor has said I have to continue paying the mortgage for the duration of this time. She is willing to split the mortage payments in half which is a bonus for me as up until this point I paid the mortgage alone, it is a joint mortgage in both our names.

I will be needing to find(purchase) my own home shortly and have no deposit so my issues is this.

I will be needing to use my half of the equity as my deposit, do I

A - need to sort this through our remortgage on the current property and release equity from the property which will obviously increase our payments which she will not be happy about.

Or

B (obviously the preferred option) – Can I remortgage the property now and at a later date when I find a suitable house use my half of the equity as a ‘deposit’ on my new house that is currently part of the equity towards our family home?

 

Some basic numbers for easy calculation

House Purchased for £150,000

Currently worth £200,000

Mortgage owed £100,000ish (51% LTV)

Thanks in advance.

pjcox2005

I won't answer as not an expert but I think people will need to know a) what are intended custody arrangements for your child e.g. 50:50 split or not, and do you want/are you happy for them to stay in their current home till 18 or prefer to sell and both buy two separate new properties?

Stvo8

pjcox2005 said:

I won't answer as not an expert but I think people will need to know a) what are intended custody arrangements for your child e.g. 50:50 split or not, and do you want/are you happy for them to stay in their current home till 18 or prefer to sell and both buy two separate new properties?

Thanks for your response, as I said CSA side of it is fine as black and white regarding my contributions based on the time I have him, we would be sharing custody.

I just wondered if I am obliged to pay for half the mortgage on a property I no longer live at(it is a joint mortgage and we are not married) and if so how can I go about releasing funds to create a deposit for a new home for myself.

74jax

Stvo8 said:

pjcox2005 said:

I won't answer as not an expert but I think people will need to know a) what are intended custody arrangements for your child e.g. 50:50 split or not, and do you want/are you happy for them to stay in their current home till 18 or prefer to sell and both buy two separate new properties?

Thanks for your response, as I said CSA side of it is fine as black and white regarding my contributions based on the time I have him, we would be sharing custody.

I just wondered if I am obliged to pay for half the mortgage on a property I no longer live at(it is a joint mortgage and we are not married) and if so how can I go about releasing funds to create a deposit for a new home for myself.

As your question relates to specifically mortgage info, you might be better off asking on the mortgage forum? 

Stvo8

74jax said:

Stvo8 said:

pjcox2005 said:

I won't answer as not an expert but I think people will need to know a) what are intended custody arrangements for your child e.g. 50:50 split or not, and do you want/are you happy for them to stay in their current home till 18 or prefer to sell and both buy two separate new properties?

Thanks for your response, as I said CSA side of it is fine as black and white regarding my contributions based on the time I have him, we would be sharing custody.

I just wondered if I am obliged to pay for half the mortgage on a property I no longer live at(it is a joint mortgage and we are not married) and if so how can I go about releasing funds to create a deposit for a new home for myself.

As your question relates to specifically mortgage info, you might be better off asking on the mortgage forum? 

Thanks for your input, I have posted on there also. Just after some info whilst I await my consultation as correspondence is currently carrying on with my Ex.

es5595

The obligation is to the mortgage company per se, I’d suggest moving back into the house as that may help to focus your exes mind. 

Explain that until the house is sold, you simply can’t afford to buy somewhere else so if she’d like to live separately, the house needs to be sold and you each purchase independent options. Be aware, your ex may be unable to finance a mortgage alone, especially if she has taken time out her career and had the majority of the caring responsibilities, which will impact on your child. 

However, as you are not married, your only obligation is the CSA amount.

Stvo8

es5595 said:

The obligation is to the mortgage company per se, I’d suggest moving back into the house as that may help to focus your exes mind. 

Explain that until the house is sold, you simply can’t afford to buy somewhere else so if she’d like to live separately, the house needs to be sold and you each purchase independent options. Be aware, your ex may be unable to finance a mortgage alone, especially if she has taken time out her career and had the majority of the caring responsibilities, which will impact on your child. 

However, as you are not married, your only obligation is the CSA amount.

Much appreciated, this was my understanding and I am yet to see anything to the contrary(other than what my Ex has said).

tightauldgit

Stvo8 said:

pjcox2005 said:

I won't answer as not an expert but I think people will need to know a) what are intended custody arrangements for your child e.g. 50:50 split or not, and do you want/are you happy for them to stay in their current home till 18 or prefer to sell and both buy two separate new properties?

I just wondered if I am obliged to pay for half the mortgage on a property I no longer live at(it is a joint mortgage and we are not married) and if so how can I go about releasing funds to create a deposit for a new home for myself.

I'm not quite sure what your specific question is. You are not technically obliged to do anything for your ex unless there is a court order to the effect that you have to. If you are named on the mortgage then you are still responsible to the mortgage company - jointly if its a joint mortgage. You are not responsible for half the mortgage incidentally, you are both jointly and separately responsible for 100% of it. 

Do NOT accept 'my solicitor says you have to' as a reason to do anything. When my ex wife left the family home she refused to make any contribution to the mortgage even though her name is on it. She still maintained her claim on the equity. 

I think you might find the bigger issue with remortgaging and then finding a new home is that you already have a £100k+ mortgage in your name on the first property. Have you spoken to a mortgage company about how much you could borrow? 

Will she agree to let you release equity from it to use as a deposit on a house? If not then you won't be able to get it.

What are your earnings like? Can you afford to be paying two mortgages? Does your ex have earnings?

I'm not a mortgage expert and have no experience of trying to release equity from mortgages but I do get the sense that this is going to be more complicated than you seem to think. I would seriously look at whether the better option would be to sell and split the proceeds then go your separate ways. Or could she buy you out of the existing property?

Savvy_Sue

I'd get your own legal advice: what her solicitor says may be different to what your solicitor says. If you can negotiate without ending up in court, all to the good, but don't just accept what you're told. You're also going to need a good mortgage broker, I feel. 

TBagpuss

OK, you and your ex will have 'joint and several liability' to the lender - you are both liable for the mortgage, but the lender doesn't care who pays what, and can pursue either or both of you for the debt.

As between you and your ex, no, you don't have any obligation to pay half the mortgage nor to agree to her remaining in the house until your child is 18. 

Normally the options to consider would be:

1. the house is sold, the mortgage cleared and the proceeds of sale split equally, You each then buy or rent your own separate properties. 

2. One of you re-mortgages into you sole name to buy out the other e.g. your partner buying your share of the house. She would need to be able to get a mortgage large enough to clear the existing mortgage and pay your your share of the equity

3. One of you remortgaged into your sole name with a deferred payment - e.g. if your partner could get a mortgage in her sole name to clear the existing mortgage, but not to borrow extra, you could agree to let her do so on the basis that she paid you to at a later date, perhaps when your child is 18, in which case you would need thereto be a formal legal charge against the property to secure your interest, and clear, written arrangements about when the payment would be made, how the figure would be worked out (a % of the gross value is usual) and whether repayment could be required earlier (for instance if you gave her notice , if she remarried or started living with a new partner etc) 

It would potentially be open to her to apply under the Children Act for a financial order for your child's benefit but the aim to to ensure that children of unmarried parents are not disadvantaged compared with those of married parents, so  again, there would be no assumption (any more than there would be in a divorce) that she should remain in the house or that you should continue to contribute to the mortgage.


I's suggest that you consider what outcome you want - i.e do you want your share of the equity right now, or are you willing to wait for it, or some of it, so your child can stay in the house? Then get some advice.

Do also bear in mind that you and she can agree whatever you want - it can be reasonable to agree a shorter period, perhaps to agree that the house will be sold in 18 months / 2 years, to give her a reasonable opportunity to either improve her financial position so she can buy you out, or make plans to move with time to plan for that.

But whatever else you do, you need to get advice from your own solicitor so you are clear about what you can or can't do, and then negotiate with her once you are properly informed.