Does MoneySaving run in the family?
in Marriage, relationships & families
21 replies 2.4K views
MSE_Laura_F Community AdminCommunity Admin
Is MoneySaving a family trait?
Or are you the outlier?
Or are you the outlier?
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My siblings are pretty shocking with money, one does try but the other is exceptionally poor with any kind of finances
My sister believed that money was to be enjoyed, ie only to be spent on something nice. Paying bills was a 'waste' of her hard earned money, hence her inevitable bankruptcy.
I've no idea where I got my money skills from!
Mortgage end date: 2041. Goal: Anything less!
Mortgage currently paid off: 4%
Parents have always spent within their means but have never been savers or investors. They were lucky with property so supplemented minimal pensions by downsizing.
Sibling is terrible managing finances despite working hard throughout life. Incapable of planning and of delaying gratification. Thank the Lord he has a DB pension and full SP entitlement. People like my bro are entirely dependent on others (government/employer/parents/spouse) 'saving on their behalf'.
I have always been a saver so definitely no savings trait in our clan.
I do think the best thing my parents ever said to us is "if you think you want to buy something, big or small, go home and think about it overnight. If it's still a good idea in the morning then think about it and plan how you can get it." They had a number of wonderful offers over the years but walked away from a lot of them. Lots of time share properties or "getting something for free" or "too good to be missed" most of which would have been absolute sink holes.
2023 £1 a day £54.26/365
Currently training parent in the use of all things MSE.
Maternal grandparents also literally built their home brick by brick - buying a pallet each week once paid. Please bear in mind grandmother was born in 1900.
Paternal family started with little, great great grandfather was a tailor but moved to the country and somehow managed to amass a farm with 160 acres and 3 houses over the years.
So i definitely come from a family where working and saving hard to get what you want is encouraged.
I am very comfortably off BUT i hate waste and I hate just being frivolous. My partner has got used to me over the years but I think carefully about what I spend my money and sometimes actually have to be encouraged to have a treat. However, one thing money has given me is freedom - freedom to leave a job that broke me, freedom to not be stuck in a bad relationship etc. My mum to this day asks if I have an 'emergency fund' squirrelled away just in case lol.
Dad was always a high earner, so Mom was able to stay at home. She did some self employed/flexible work around looking after us so she had some income. Dad always spent up to his means, and he'd go beyond them knowing he had the money coming in, so he was often borrowing from his future self. It was never an issue (that I was aware of, anyway) but I think it's come back to bite at least him a bit in later life after they separated/divorced.
I would say they made some big financial decisions that I wouldn't do myself, and whilst it was nice to have 'everything' as we were growing up, it's also easy to expect instant gratification all of the time and I think that's a negative. I definitely still have some old habits that I'm working on changing (like borrowing from future self). I want to genuinely be financially stable/comfortable/secure, not just have the appearance of it.
I remember wanting to go on a youth group holiday and never asking them, but assuming that I had to fund it myself.
I now consider myself relatively well off - I am able to save and my husband has been able to "stay home" while the kids were little. He started a part-time job last month by choice. I've kept the attitude I grew up with - instinctively hate waste and rarely spend large amounts on stuff I don't need but would enjoy. I grow vegetables and fruit because I enjoy it, whereas my mother probably did it to feed us.
All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert