My Plans of Actions and Dreams

badmemory

I thought they were supposed to promote the power of positive thought.  Making you feel bad is just going to send you to the biscuit barrel.

South_coast

The man that wrote the book is not judging you - he has never met you! If the book is making you feel bad, then put it away and pick it up again another day when your mood is better and you can laugh about how it's making you feel today. 

You CAN do this Hotdog, but the change needs to come from inside you. I don't know what "Tier 3" involves, but if it doesn't include changing your mindset then I worry that you might revert to old ways. That's not a dig at you at all, not for a minute, it's just human nature. Have you written a list of reasons why you would like to change that you can refer back to when you are feeling low? Could you leave your purse at home when you go out, so there is no chance of spending money when deep down you really don't want to? (I know there is Apple/Google pay now, so you wouldn't necessarily need your purse - but they can be deleted!)

P.S. I love the description of you being a rampant rabbit when you lost weight before - absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of body confidence and feeling proud of yourself!

LadyWithAPlan

HotDog2020 said:

When I try cutting back, on what I eat there is a certain amount which I still need with regards junk food - I tried eating healthy for a day and my body was saying I needed something extra call me crazy - but I have heard of two stories two of the people that joined slimming world have had to have their gall bladder removed owed to she said yoyo dieting, I think I need to listen to my bodies needs equally to trying to lose weight - Howeveer I have become quite keen to become stronger and build muscle in the gym and improve cardio and stengthen my heart and potentailly lose weight. I think There is more to do with the diet still as there are times where I could cut out a bit more, I feeel this is the route to sucess once I get the right combination of exercise and diet the weight loss will follow. Not given up hope yet!

Cutting back on what I buy will have an effect on purse strings, as I am opting to spend less, but I still spend more then necessary at present. From November 1st onwards I am going to put away £250 per month to Premium bonds as part of building up emergency fund. I am still debating about making O/Ps - I am not sure I can put much aside for this whilst saving £250. Also I want to put any last bit of money I have towards a holiday as I think one holiday per year is a must. I am tempted to put the shower money as O/Ps as soon as I am clear of all debt that I have incurred which is not much - that would be something at least.

Overall feeling positive.

Adding muscle is a great long term way to be healthy and lose weight as the more muscle you carry the more kcals you burn every hour, plus you will feel better So good luck - just keep getting down that gym and walking every day as a minimum .... 

Well done also on your focus for saving - its hard but the important thing is to not give up

LadyWithAPlan

Sorry you are struggling - a few ideas - feel free to ignore 
Have you tried getting rid of your credit card or putting it in the freezer and not using it ? Cc are dangerously easy to spend on 

Maybe paying things only with cash will make you see what you are spending - the Dave Ramsey /til Debt Do Us Part cash experiment for 
A few months 

writing down everything you spend for a month including a breakdown of what you could call ‘treats’ eg choc etc but are actually UPFs 
- you could this see what money waste is going this way 

I find if I buy certain things I can’t help but eat the whole package so this I stop myself buying them at the shops - foods that trigger you especially UPFs you could try not having in the house - saving money and unhealthy calories 

or maybe set up a regular Dd for savings that goes out quickly after your salary comes in 

Have you thought about seeing a councillor on this spending and you also feeling out of control on food - they sound from the way you write like a similar habit you wish to change 

the hard truth about changing behaviour (& I also fail at this ) is that to acknowledge every day is a battle between the self you want to be and your old comfort habits - I struggle now with going to the gym regularly despite knowing how much better I feel when I do - so aiming to get there early in the day really helps as does thinking it hurts now (leaving the cosy flat in the cold but it will feel amazing in an hour 

maybe try daily personal 3 page journaling like the morning pages as that can hepp
process emotions and give clarity 

Winning sometimes is putting one foot ahead each day, so be kind to yourself 

LadyWithAPlan

I love the fact your credit card is in your freezer ) 
 A daily  walk is fabulous for you and gets you fit and great for mental health 

Hope the therapy helps  and glad wegovy is working as you say though it’s also about finding ways to amuse yourself other than eating / something most of us do at times especially stressful ones 

Morning Pages are so titled by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist Way but you can Google them or ..  
Morning Pages are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing,

done first thing in the morning. *There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages*–
they are not high art. They are not even “writing.” They are about
anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes
only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and
synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put
three pages of anything on the page...and then do three more pages tomorrow.

Not sure if you have heard of Dave Ramsey the American finance guru and his baby steps - there are loads of videos on YouTube on it - as he helps people get out of debt and on a budget so they can be worth a listen especially when he goes through using cash for groceries and those areas we all overspend (I have way overspent on my treats and entertainment budget as had lots of birthdays etc 

Egoberry

@HotDog2020 I just read through your diary and wanted to wish you best of luck in your debt and weight reduction journey.

You are absolutely right that the we often eat purely out of habit / boredom / to deal with other emotions. What I personally found helpful is everytime I thought I was hungry I would ask myself if I was hungry enough to eat an apple. If yes, I would have it, but truth is 90% of the time my "hunger" was just a craving. In that case I would have a big glass of water and go back to whatever I was doing. Maybe that's something you can try if it resonates.

Have you also tried listening to podcasts or audiobooks to make it more exciting going for a walk? I love listening to a podcast when walking in the morning, I know some people even create rules for themselves where they only allow themselves to listen to their favourite podcasts when doing xyz task (going for a walk, cooking, etc) and use it as added motivation.

Anyway just a few things that may be useful or not!

South_coast

Yet 11 hours earlier you were "Feeling good"?

If you read back through your diary, you seem to be constantly lurching between "Everything is positive" and "Everything is terrible". I'm not a Doctor (not even close), so I may be way off the mark, but maybe you need to ask for your medication to be reviewed to see if it might help you get onto a more even keel? Going from one to the other all the time must be exhausting x

LadyWithAPlan

I think having a new job to go after is a great goal. 
Is there more study you need or an exam to take to move up work wise?

I need to go get another client or a new project job but I have also been dragging my feet 

Sorry you having some issues - life always comes at us at great speed.
If you can when you feel down go to the gym as its proven to help with mood etc - as good as anti depressants I have read - though I know when one  is feeling not great its hard to get off the couch and comfort eating and get moving.

Keep on putting one step in front of another - some days thats winning  
Quote of the day ...
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. 

LadyWithAPlan

Borrowing the cd sounds like a great idea instead of buying one. Every penny you can not spend can go against your debt.

I am aiming for the 'dont buy stuff'  simple but not easy  idea  as I need to up my savings rate but Xmas is hard...  However I do always have a budget for xmas inc food etc and I have been saving some each month for it. I know I will go over but I wont go into debt for it.

I didnt  have a credit card for years - only got one for credit score ahead of buying a home ... but I definitely spend more on it even though I always pay it off in full. I have now got a virtual pot where the money I spend on it goes either paid off the card immediately or  straight out my current account so I can see the money going and waiting for the bill to land. I leave a 10% amount of credit to keep my score up. Can you stop using your credit cards as a way to stop racking up more debt? 

LadyWithAPlan

Keep on going - it’s not about perfection- we all say we will do x and don’t  but the quicker you get back on your goals the quicker you will reach them