A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Sarahwithlove

Congrats on getting debt free. It's great you are now going to be in position to help your children out without the worry or stress of where the money will come from.

Spendless

Yes it's nice to b e able to think we can now move on to the next steps. I've got some ideas of what they are but want DD back at Uni first, before we start making plans.

On my very 1st post on this diary I reference how expensive I found the set up costs of DD moving away to be. Of course at that point we had a mortgage, 2 overdrafts and 2 credit cards with £1000s on them and only one of us working. I'm in the midst of replacing a chunk of  these items as they've been damaged/broken/lost/found not suitable over the years. It's still a lot to spend at once but at least we're in a better place now for affording it. We bought the Ikea student pack which is a little under £50 with the view anything not needed we will either use or roll over till next year when we restock. Still needed is bedding. some more towels and also new clothes. Though many drama schools have ditched the requirement for their students to wear black, DD's happened, which is why some additional stuff is required.

The paperwork decluttering wasn't as painful as I feared though I did tell DH to leave my personal stuff alone. That's a task I think I'll tackle when the Autumn evenings come and I find myself back to being alone. DD has a week left and because the house tenancy and her enrolment start on weekdays I'm not going to be able to go with them. First time I've not gone with her for start of term. Don't know if it's this  or the circs that surround her coming home a little early that make me feel a little sad about it and that I'll soon be returning to an empty house midweek. Very thankful for the dog to keep me company. 

Spendless

Happy BH Monday. Sooo nice to not have Monday morning return to work blues. This is my last full day with DD before the end of the year which I'm feeling a bit sad about. Have spent the last few days on various shopping trips getting all her stuff together. Said I'd found it just as expensive as when she first moved away 3 years ago and realised in the 'usual' way she'd now have graduated and her stuff would have lasted the 3 years of degree with just the occasional top up. Never noticed this with DS though he did 4 years because in his last year he was living with his now estranged wife so they had 2 sets of items to combine and his clothes hadn't worn out cos he'd been through 3 lots of lockdowns so wasn't wearing them anywhere. 

Today's task is to tidy up my bedroom and a grocery shop is needed

Sunshine_girl2

Hi Spendless, have you had chance to decide what you are doing with your extra money now you are debt free ?
Have a good day with your DD , hope your DS is coping . 

Spendless

Hi, Though weve not sat down with a concrete plan and budget yet we have some ideas.

These include renovating/refurbishing/redecoration of rooms in our house that have been on hold for the past few years whilst weve constantly had a child in Higher education. 

Ive also had the thought to repair some of the dent to our savings caused by both financing students and me in and out of temp work.

As DS finished GCSEs i returned to full time work (had worked part time before) for the first time since having kids. Those wages paid for DS driving lessons and our last family hol to Florida but beyond that they were wasted. That is my major regret. If Id saved  it would have paid for the kids student accommodation all the way through. I stopped working there as DS had just done his first term at Uni. The place closed down, as they lost their contract. I didnt look for any other work at that time  because DD was ill with her MH and I was needed at home. I found a p-time job as she got settled at 6th form and lost it due to the pandemic in the first week of lockdown 1. The rest of my job history is from when i start this diary.

I think i never thought to save as we knew a windfall (the savings i talk about) was heading our way and just thought wed take from there. Of course DD being ill, a pandemic affecting DS ability to find a job round his studies werent things that Id considered, consequently we spent more than anticipated and Id like to repair at least some of that damage. Im thinking of it as paying back 'expenses we should never have had' and including things like our lost deposit when DD changed her mind about which drama school at the last minute, rent for DS last year due to him going on foundation first. Very tempted to save back and pay into savings the cost of his short lived marriage too! All this will be done in baby steps and over a period of several years in conjunction with the house make-over. 

Sarahwithlove

Sounds like you have lots of things to consider when deciding where to save your money now. Nice position for you to be in 

Spendless

DD returns to Uni today. DH is taking her to London. I can't go with them as I'm working - there's no room in the car for me anyway! 

Payday for both myself and DH is tomorrow and I can see both payments pending. Mine is a little less than usual because I took a call from payroll and they'd missed enrolling me in the workplace pension so are taking 2 lots this month. There is still a few £100 left in both accounts but I'm unsure if DD's LL will want a rent payment today which will wipe us out if so.  We do have the means to pay just will have to juggle some money around.

Much as I loathe dark  early evenings I always think of September when it approaches as a 'new beginning' far more so than Jan. Don't know if the academic year marked me forever or if it's because it's my birthday month. Once DH returns from dropping DD off, he's unsure whether to do a last minute o/n stay and will decide once there, we need to look at the CB CC which needs paying. There's a chunk on it because it includes mine and DH flights to US next month but DH flight will be reimbursed but not till he gets there.  After that it is time to make a new budget and plan for what we wish to achieve next.

Spendless

I've returned home tonight to an empty house and feel as bereft as I did 3 years ago when DD first left.  I'd got used to her going so I don't know why, I wonder if it's because she returned early  unsure if she was going to continue her studies, under a cloud of her brother's marriage break-up  On that note I will also say  I have reason to believe I'm being watched on here with what I say by someone who has worked out who I am, so suffice to say, I have spent a long time pondering it and just don't believe DIL was who she claimed to be all along.

We did need to pay the LL today but not for rent, just another deposit instalment that I hadn't realised. That is frustrating as it will take every penny we have left from our wages and may need to add more. I am waiting till later on tonight once DH has taken DD for her 1st grocery shop (the 1st is always on us) to see the extent of the 'damage'. If I'd realised I'd have been putting a chunk away all summer towards this. 

As the chemist didn't have my prescription ready last night, I had to nip our of work mid morning to collect and as our house is nearby I was able to go and give  DD a hug goodbye just before she left.

It's daft to feel this way. There's every chance DH will be popping in again on Sunday with any additional items forgotten/needed as he's flying abroad to work again and will be departing from an airport not too far away. A the w/end my Nan rang me to invite us all to her birthday 'party' (a pub lunch) next month when she'll be 99. So long as we can work round any train strikes DD will return home for that too.

Spendless

Feel so frustrated that we 'failed' at the last hurdel yesterday with getting through till payday. Last night I ended up transferring from savings £103 to cover the  remainder of the LL deposit I didn't realise was coming, some money for DH to eat as he stayed in a hotel in London o/n (need to check he was able to do this on hotel loyalty points - fingers crossed)  plus I had always intended sending DD money to manage this weekend until her student loan comes through next week, but she contacted me late to ask for money for an uber to get to a friends place who had helped with moving in earlier that day, so agreed (it will be deducted from amt I send her). Just annoyed this all happened day before payday when we'd managed so well and been able to cover a trip with DS, DH glasses and DD's return to Uni items all from our wages. 

All the money I borrowed I've set up to pay back in today but it means yet again we're not starting the month with our full wages. 

Definitely a review and plan for budgets is needed.

Spendless

This morning me and DH sat down with a spreadsheet and our banking app and worked through every item of expenditure last month. It was a shocker what came to light. We were aware DDs back to Uni expenses had been high and was aware we'd had some big ticket expenses such as the hol, DH new glasses and passport. What we hadnt been aware of is how small our main grocery shop had been and how high our top up shops and getting fast food had been. That is being addressed straight away. I was aware that we hadnt always done a weekly shop because sometimes we thought we didnt need one, but not taking into account we would before a 2nd week was up. I think it is due to in term time we vary between 1-2 people for meals and in hols usually between 2-3 but can also go down to just 1. It hasnt been taken into account our variable household numbers.
It showed up that we could have easily met the day before payday bills if we'd been more on the ball.
So today we have now done a grocery shop in Aldi £139, that included replacing our air fryer as DD has taken hers back. I have enough food for packed lunches. DH will be working abroad most of the week. 
For some reason we had 2 insurance policies for boiler cover, so have cancelled one. Over the years we used this cover enough for me not to be comfortable going down the self insure route - not yet anyway.
Gas/Electric has been reduced and weve gone on a 2 yr fixed rate. We decided on this because by then DD will have graduated and it gives us a set price to budget for.
Happy with our start. September has always felt more 'new beginnings' for me than January. Unsure if the academic year marked me forever or its just because I become a year older this month.