A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Spendless

Today is my sons birthday.  We called to see him and DIL  earlier taking a card with birthday money and a caterpillar cake (never outgrows them!). DH has already gone to work away and isn't back until the end of the week. My CV is updated for me to start applying for jobs, but I will do that from  midweek onwards. This is because previously I've uploaded my CV on Sunday, been contacted Mon, interviewed Wed and in  a job on Thursday and with DH away and  Nan currently in hospital need to take my parents ability to dog sit into account.

Nan was going to be discharged on Sunday, but my Dad asked if she could be kept in 1 more night, because a care package is being put in place (carers twice a day) and they need a key safe locating outside, plus there was the cleaning of her room to do due to her bleeding when she had her fall. Last night however she was moved to another ward due to not having gone to the loo during her time there and is on a drip. As and when she is discharged my parents aren't going to be able to manage them, Nan and her wheelchair in their small car. Both parents are going to have to go to collect Nan as car parking bad, so one will need to collect and the other park where they can then drive to pick up. None of them being in a position where it's suitable for Nan to be wheeled some distance to where the car can be parked. For this reason I said I would follow parents and Mum could then get in the car with me and Dad drive Nan back with wheelchair in his car. Which is another reason my job applications will only be later this week when I know what's happening.

This weekend's de-cluttering was the turn of 'school supplies'. I had suggested we abandoned it in favour of a different smaller category due to everything going on, but DH wished  to stick to the original plan. It looks loads better and we have 2 completely clear shelves in the house. I've realised since we missed one small bag but that can be dealt with next weekend. We had loads of recycling, have a box of mixed stationery we're going to ask if anyone wants on a local site. I found a recycling craft items box at Dunelm but gave artistic DiL first refusal of anything she wanted. She took a selection and the rest I will take to the shop today.  Next weekend's project is now the upstairs rooms because with the exception of towels, which won't take long we have done all the de-cluttering possible up there from the categories and there's only miscellaneous stuff left. I will do what I can during the week too. After that attention will be turned to categories that are in  downstairs rooms. 

On Saturday me and a friend used the theatre tickets I'd originally got for DD who wasn't able to attend. We had a pub meal and a bottle of wine first which was friend's treat since I'd paid for the tickets. Then we walked through to the shops and got a can of mixed cocktail and a small ice cream which we then had on the train, followed by a drink at a pub near the theatre to see the show then making our way home. Fortunately we just got to the train which meant we could catch also  the last connecting  train to our village, which I was happy with because I didn't really wish to task DH with asking him to pick us up as I just feel he's been given a lot to do lately and is struggling with tiredness. He'd gone to the supermarket whilst I was out with my friend and by what he bought I can tell he isn't thinking, he bought bread, milk, cheddar, butter, fruit and pop ok but after that he bought some soft cheeses because I like them - said did you get crackers - No. Bought a whole lettuce - we already have one and in the freezer is a solitary pack of chicken burgers he bought, nothing else. I'd laugh if I wasn't concerned Still kept the grocery shop low and there's only me here most of the week to fathom out meals from or go back to the shops.  . 

Spendless

The banking app has changed the way you log in. I found out this morning when I went to check the account,  I can't remember if DH didn't tell me this was going to happen or if I just never realised. Last time it changed I couldn't work out what to do what to do and didn't have access to it for ages which wasn't ideal. I only spoke to DH in snatched interrupted tel conversations yesterday, so want to double check what he told me first - better being wary. Just seen I was sent an email I'd missed over the last few days about it. 

DH had a letter yesterday saying the annual interest would be applied soon to a HI account he opened last year (a recommendation that was on here) but he also told me that the CB on the CC is due and I don't know if that's correct or he'd just muddled what he meant. We will need to decide where it's allocated to as we have a few big ticket items due inc DD's rent (need a further £900), her 21st at the end of the month (her 18th fell over lockdown3  so not much happened for it), we need to book a hotel room for DH Godson's wedding in the summer and we have agreed   to fund DD's travel costs in a few weeks time  as she's sadly attending a funeral of a girl her own age. She knew her from the pageant world. Not entirely sure of cause of death but she had some disabilities which I believe were life limiting.  I need to get it all down on a spreadsheet what is additional money coming in versus the extra costs going out. Thinking about it it is quite possibly correct that 2 'bonus payments' are due in because we only started getting our act together properly last year with repaying the debt and we went abroad in Jan, I know we returned in Feb cos my (other) Nan died the following day, so yes quite possibly March last year before other things were set up, which makes it even more amazing we're only a few months away from being clear. 

Nan was due to be discharged yesterday. I took a phone call around 4pm from my agitated Mum, they'd just had a phone call from the hospital saying Nan was able to go home so could they come and pick her up and at the same time would they also get to Nan's house for 4.45 where some people from the providers of the carers Nan will be having  would be calling about it - but if she wasn't there then then appt would get cancelled. Dad replied out he'd not been given enough time to do both, and got the reply Nan doesn't live that far from the hospital to which Dad pointed out that may be so but he lives further away and his own travelling time to get to the hospital in the first place hadn't been considered. Cue me being asked to step in and sit at Nan's house in case the visitors arrived before she did. So my instinct to not job hunt until later this week just in case was correct. As it happens Nan didn't get discharged as she said she didn't feel safe being let out yet and was kept in and the hospital staff cancelled the people who were due at her house. I have another day of stopping in in case she is discharged as it requires 2 people, one to get Nan, the other to drive the car close to the entrance and Mum has a few appointments today she can't change, so am on 'standby' till Dad rings me.

I've decided  instead of spending more on groceries, I will manage with the random limited stuff DH bought. My version of ready steady cook -lol. Yesterday's tea was a southern fried chicken burger (already in) with lettuce and mayo but in sliced bread as that's all that was in. For tonight prawns are defrosting (used half of what was left in the bag we already had in) and will be used in a curry with rice. Dog will be ok, DH ensured he bought him a full case of his food -lol! 

Loanranger21

Would it be easier to get an Uber for your Nan or a taxi to get her home from the hospital? They will pick her up from front. Your dad could also get an Uber or a taxi to the hospital if you don’t have the Uber app yet on your phone. Just a thought. I know only too well that older folk don’t like wasting in quotes money on taxis but as i always said to my ancient parents, the rainy day is here. 

Aimingforthegoodlife

Hi Spendless, have spent a few days reading your diary. Wow you have achieved so much! It is good your nan recognised that she wasn't quite ready to go home, hopefully when she does it will go really well. DD is so lucky to have such supportive parents, and the loans make no sense whatsoever!! Keep up the great work!

Spendless

Thank you both. Ubers aren't in our area unfortunately  - there's a substitute service, which is extortionate ( I used it once) and possibly the problem with a mini cab would be how long it would take to get to my parents in the 1st place versus the notice he's given by the hospital to pick up . The good news is she should be discharged today. I know I'm not going to explain this correctly but Nan had a 'drip' on her leg due to being unable to go to the loo. The other day she was going to be discharged with it still on  and didn't  feel comfortable doing so but it couldn't be removed until she'd had a bowel movement, which is why she was kept in.

Yesterday was my first NSD in ages. By the time I had decided the banking app changes wasn't really trying to con me asking for new details, the app refused to let me in to change codes -lol. I decided this was a sign to not spend anything whatsoever. The coin purse that I thought had lost its magical power had 2 lots of money put in over the weekend. 1st was when I decided to take a different bag  to the theatre and found a load of loose change. It must have spilt out my purse last time it was used but the rules are if I stumble across money I hadn't realised was there into the coin purse it goes. It got missed on the recent bag de-clutter because I didn't include the ones in current use in the hallway. The 2nd was some change that had been left on a cabinet for some time, clearly DHs but if he forgot to pick it up then he knows my rules too (it's made him tidier - lol) Coin purse now has £14.99 in it.  

Prawn curry was gorgeous, I found a small curry paste leftover from when DD was eliminating various ingredients over Xmas hols, added onion and Greek yoghurt and also made a raita with cucumber and mint sauce. The best excitement though was finding an unopened pack of Naans in the bread bin so could have one with rice too. Tonight's tea is sorted as I'm eating at my parents. 

Today dog is at the groomers and tomorrow it's his birthday. I have booked to take him to a dog play park at the weekend something that caused my human son to roll his eyes at me about. It's not quite as daft as my son thinks. The dog is a mix of 3 diff breeds. He's an oops between household pets - a genuine accident we are still in touch with the owners of dogs parents and  he had a tendency to run away when left .off his lead when younger. On one memorable occasion he ran away from DD. She followed him calling him back and a lady on a mobility scooter seeing the scene shouted to DD she'd get him by fishing in her grocery bag for some cooked chicken she'd  just bought and holding it out to him. The dog ran past the lady grabbed the chicken she held out and continued running with it in his mouth! He was finally cornered in someone's front garden. The following week he was  enrolled in dog training classes!   However the course had only just ended and you are meant to keep working on the skills taught when lockdown1 happened, you could only go out once a day, if the dog ran off there'd be a lack of people to ask if they'd seen him and you couldn't go within 6 ft of people to get him back. The next time I felt comfortable letting him off lead in a public place was after lockdown3 when he promptly ran off again! So from time to time we pay for an enclosed field for him to race around. I didn't know till the other day that the same people also owned a dog play park, so trying that. I've asked my parents to come with us assuming Nan ok and then afterwards will get DS and DiL back to our house for a take away to incorporate birthdays and mother's day. My £10 Amazon voucher came through for doing a survey so used that to buy Mum's present of a power bank she can keep in her handbag.

Spendless

Nan is out of hospital but all is not ok. On Tues night she rang my Dad and said that she didn't want him to return her to 'that' house what she doesn't like and has rowdy and raucous behaviour in it. This is the same house  she's lived in since the early 1950s with my (late) Grandad and my Dad until he married. She's lived alone there since becoming a widow in the mid 1990s and I'm absolutely positive no-one turns up at her house and parties every night! I wasn't aware of this when I updated my diary yesterday. There was then a hospital staff only meeting about what was to happen and at that it was decided that Nan could be discharged mid afternoon as they felt she'd feel more confident in her own home. We arrived dead on time to find Nan already waiting in the 'departure lounge' with a face like thunder and clearly annoyed. I'd spent so much time thinking of the logistics of the cars, I'd given no thought to Nan's belongings which were all in a large open shopping bag and heavy. If I'd thought I'd have taken a small wheeled case with me. Dad went to get his car whilst me and Mum waited with Nan. It was then a struggle to get her into Dad's small car. Mindful that it had been suggested on here to take a taxi instead, I later suggested to Mum as we returned to my own car  carrying Nan's bag between us,  that needs to be the way forward. I only didn't think it would work due to the lack of notice my parents had been given the other day. Nan had been snappy all the way through this. I dropped Mum off at Nan's taking her bag in and then saying bye. My parents were then waiting till people from the carers organisation arrived to set things up. Last night Mum rang to tell me, Nan had gone 'up the wall' at having carers in (it was initially recommended 4 times a day by the hospital staff which I'm aware is the max they'll go to before a care home is needed, but they later said they'd start on 2 visits per day) and said she wouldn't have them. The lady that called to set it up, said the carers would call tomorrow, if Nan refused, she would be asked to sign something saying she didn't wish to have them. Watch this space I suppose. I know from the experience of my other Nan that she can get sectioned under the MH Act if she is deemed to be a risk to either herself or others. Dad doesn't have POA as it's something Nan has repeatedly refused to sort out. A Dr at the hospital talked to her about it though and she agreed, DH is going to go round to my parents at the weekend and start the application. 


I got asked a few posts ago what my plans were for after we have paid off the debt. Sorting out POA for myself and DH is high on the list. Better to do it now whilst we're still young(ish) and able to think more clearly. We made wills last year. 

I was in the middle of filling out my details yesterday to register with a recruitment agency when I got the call all was not well re Nan. I've finished and submitted it this morning. I think currently I'd be better off looking for short term temp work. I need the money for the additional costs we have namely DD's student rent, rather than needing to look at a career plan. If my parents aren't in a position to have the dog whilst I am (hopefully) at work I need to find a dog sitting/walking service even if just till DD is home for the summer.       

I did still eat at my parents yesterday, but we switched main meal to lunchtime, which was probably just as well considering what the afternoon/evening unfolded. That meant I was happy with beans on toast for tea. Will work out later what ready steady cook meal I can conjure up from DHs grocery shopping. Plans for today are household chores, a special walk for the dog as it's his birthday today - he also has presents to unwrap and await any phone calls. 

Spendless

My car insurance has gone out today, for the 1st time ever in full! I watched the ML show a little while ago and he said to always pay car and house insurance in full if you can because they are the 2 that add a premium for not doing so. I'd not really given it much thought before! It's a little under £240 for the year but I'm unsure if the bank acc will manage that amount coming out in what we usually have as an expensive month. Will discuss with DH later today, do we hold our nerve and do our best to manage or take from savings and pay back.

Ok it's early days but I never heard from the recruitment agency I registered with yesterday, despite talking to them on Wednesday and them saying they had vacancies that matched my skill-set. I'll see what today brings and then apply for more jobs over the weekend if I need to. Will also need to decide where the £900 I'm currently short for DD's rent next month is coming from too if I don't find work soon. 

Grocery shopping is needed! I used to go the supermarket on Friday evenings when DD was at her drama group. At that time the only Aldi was nearby. Now there's several including one within walking distance. I've decided I prefer food shopping on Fridays. The way my bank works if I pay by debit card then it doesn't take payment until the end of the  following working day, so anything bought today won't clear in the bank until Mon after around 5pm. I like that, it makes me feel that I've moved the grocery budget on until the following week.

Spendless

Made a decision on my car insurance which was 237.36. I have decided to let this months money absorb the 37.36. I am then borrowing from savings the remaining £200, to be paid back at the rate of £50 a month over the next 4 months starting 1st April. This has it ending in July the month everything should be paid off. I'm not going to count this as debt during my monthly roundups because I'm not seeing it this way, but as a more efficient way to manage a large(ish) annual bill. I could have split it down smaller and paid over a longer period even a year but decided I'd rather do it this way as when July comes we can look at our new budget and how we do things going forward. The £200 needs moving from savings into the current account but I won't be doing that until after interest is applied on the savings accounts on the 15th of the month.

I applied for some jobs yesterday on Indeed and got emails suggesting others I can apply for too. They will be looked at this weekend.


Spoke to DH about needing a further £900 for DD's rent. The irony I've been finding more than the next months instalment  for a year, this lower one I've failed at at the last hurdle! Kicking myself for not realising what was happening in my last job and getting in first with a longer notice period because a months more money for not much more weeks work (as they were closed for Christmas) would have made all the difference to this bill. DH suggested (something that I'd already thought of) that we use all the money that is due to come into us over the next couple of weeks, the CB from the CC, a payment for a HI account that has been locked  in for a year (this is the money we pay instead of paying more on the 0% CC each month) and any additional money that comes our way. This should start being paid out in the next 1-2 weeks. Fingers crossed I also get offered a job as this will make all the difference.

I went to Aldi grocery shopping. The best part of DH's random shop last week, is there was so much left over because it didn't go with anything else! Buying the additional items to make meals meant the bill  only came to £56.71 and won't leave the account until Monday after 5pm. 

DH started the process for Dad to have financial POA for Nan. The amount solicitors charge for doing this is sky high. We declined the offer last year when we made our wills because we were aware it costs £82 for one you  do yourself. I totally get solicitors time in doing it, but the price quoted was far, far more than for doing our wills.  

badmemory

Even if a solicitor does it, all they fill in is the answers that you make to the questions they ask, which are only the ones on the form.  Years ago my sister & I helped my mother do hers & later I did both of my own.  If you trust your POA then beware of restrictions, they can have unfortunate consequences.  A POA can stop social workers cutting you out of the loop too.

Spendless

badmemory said:

Even if a solicitor does it, all they fill in is the answers that you make to the questions they ask, which are only the ones on the form.  Years ago my sister & I helped my mother do hers & later I did both of my own.  If you trust your POA then beware of restrictions, they can have unfortunate consequences.  A POA can stop social workers cutting you out of the loop too.

@badmemory - Are you able to expand on what you mean please (bolded bit)? Both my Nans stubbornly refused to sort out POAs for themselves  (Goodness knows why both my Grandads were invalids after strokes for a long time, once for 25 years, the other for 13, so you'd think they'd be more aware). Mum did get POA for financial for my Nan after she'd entered a care home with dementia, paid a solicitor to do it. Mum wasn't aware there was a health one till years later. Dad is taking the view that he only needs to get financial for my other Nan as she's 98.5 and he doesn't really see that a health one is needed considering her age.