A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Spendless

We spent yesterday afternoon sorting bedding out and are left with a black biner liner full that is surplus to requirements. No idea how we've managed to accumulate so much think it can only be from buying for student life because the area where we lacked stuff was for mine and DH bed, had to go and get some more for that! I  need to find where I can recycle this to. We now have half a cupboard clear. The amount of  clothes DD has though! Jeez - she could set up a pop up shop with them. Nope not doing that cos it'll be me sorting out premises and rent and tax!  In the summer she can dedicate herself to clothes sales (and find a bar job on the side if she wants) and I'm prepared to fund car boot admissions to get rid of some volume. Thinking of giving her a Sept 1st deadline to have it gone. 

This week should be the last full week of me not knowing what is happening. This week Dad is at an appt to see about his 2nd cataract op and  DH is flying to Canada to see his Aunt.  The £125 that DH received due to a bank switch recommended on here he has moved into Canadian $ in the Global account as he now needs to spend 5 times on that card to qualify for the next bonus which I think was £80 and to be paid in May. Puncture on the car done - £60, which is another step for the goal back to work.

 I've realised the reason I'm been feeling a bit despondent about the debt still, is because we have 3 concurrent debts all with the same end date. Previously when we hit paying off the mortgage, overdrafts and CC1 it was all at different times. Technically the clothing account is paid as is the additional money that couldn't be BT to the  0% CC, but because we didn't save for these things  upfront just took the money for them out of savings, I am of the firm belief we pay ourselves back. Currently we can't re-jig things any differently to what we are doing because we are committed to a  savings plan to put the max away possible in a high interest account. I think that also pays out in May, so maybe can be re-looked at  that point or perhaps by then we'll be so close to the finish line I won't care! 

Pollie

Do you have any local animal rescue centres that might want surplus bedding?

Spendless

Hi, I had a quick look after your suggestion Pollie. I can only see ones local to me requesting blankets or towels. I have duvet covers and pillow cases. I might have found somewhere else to recycle them to  though, need to check it out.

Yesterday was what have been pay day in my prev job. Usually when I leave a job for whatever reason when the first non payday rolls round, I feel a sense of regret/sadness. Not this time! I only realised the date today and even then had to double check I was correct. Think that reaction speaks volumes too. Strange my emotions have shown me what my head refused to listen to at the time!

Tomorrow DH goes away till next week, so we will see how the finances fare with just me here. The pension company hasn't emailed me about their decision about my name change document despite me being told it would be today! This is the reason I don't trust them with my wedding certificate in the first place!

 DD has had a flood in her room,  a load of her clothes have got wet and smelly (overflown toilet - don't ask!). The clothes must have been on the floordrobe to get soiled! I don't know whether it was DH lack of explaining clearly or DD lack of listening enough (a combination of both I guess!) that had DD at a laundrette expecting it to be staffed at 7pm to help sort the issue. Don't know what she's done since about it. We have said we'll pay the laundry bill , however expensive it'll still be cheaper than her going clothes shopping for new stuff!  Meanwhile DH will drop off some of her surplus clothes tomorrow on his way to the airport. I'd already bought her a load of black socks as the ones bought online were delivered as a box of tweezers??!! Can't get a refund as DD thought it was some mistake and binned them! Thank goodness for Primark! 

EssexHebridean

You're very patient constantly throwing money at problems DD has like this Spendless - I can only begin to imagine what my Mum would have said in some of those situations! (It wouldn't have been polite though, I can tell you that much!) 

Spendless

And DH has set off on his trip though his flight isn't until tomorrow. Last minute hunt for travel adapters! I knew the toiletry bag they were in as it was one of the items Tex gave DD for her 18th birthday - not as dull as it sounds, at the time we were in lockdown3 and most shops weren't open and his  Saturday job employer was also closed. I kept it because it's actually a really useful style. It's probably the most useful thing I can think about re daughter's ex. We have a nickname for him at home too. It's not as polite as Tex...! Anyway missing bag was  found in a different cupboard - a DH trait to fling something in the nearest cupboard and consider it tidied away! During the hunt I also found some other items that I'd been wondering where there'd got to. I have a dedicated space in our bedroom for travel/holiday items so have been sorting that out. Definitely the thing to do is to  to get DH to help and concentrate on one area to organise. Finding the correct bedding is now so easy since we did this. 

For the next week the only additional  mess in the house  will have been created by myself - or the dog! Will see how our finances fare. Today is not going to be a NSD as at 8am I was in M&S food hall buying DD treats. There's a reason for this.  I had fully intended sending DD some additional cash as she's been buying props and some costume bits out of her money, so thought I'd give her a little back. However this was before the flood and us stepping in over laundry costs, so I decided not to do this but I also knew there'd be a chocolate craving coming. I went to M&S because it's not as easily replaced by her (location or money-wise) as a packet of chocolate digestives and a dairymilk is, so hopefully won't all go on  one feeling sorry for herself binge. Everything has gone into a large shopping bag, a Christmas design which then folds flat. Additional clothes, some old work clothes I had that I thought would help with a costume she needs, a spare set of straighteners I had and lastly some towels as she sent DD a message last night saying 'what am I meant to do about showering?' He has interpreted that as 'I don't have any towels due to flood' (what did I say about not being concise?!) We've  also added some old beach towels as they're large but flat. Everything we've sent of ours we don't mind if it never comes back - even my straighteners, they're my least favourite set. 

Spendless

EssexHebridean said:

You're very patient constantly throwing money at problems DD has like this Spendless - I can only begin to imagine what my Mum would have said in some of those situations! (It wouldn't have been polite though, I can tell you that much!) 

Mine wouldn't have been either and she messaged DH not me about it as she knew I wouldn't have been as calm as he is! I am aware though she has far less to live on than the way we treated DS during his Uni years. We always paid his rent in full leaving him his (minimum)  loan to live on, but he studied in a far cheaper place than DD does, so for this year at least we can't do it this way. The money I send her means she gets roughly £10 a day (or less)  to live on whilst coming under (Greater) London and their prices. Add in the potential ADHD diagnosis (no still not sorted because it needs both DH and DD to deal with it  together and both blame the other as to why  the next step hasn't happened - I have said this needs dealing with on DH return, I can't do it because it's his healthcare  insurance) which can have disorganisation and not managing money well as traits. 

 Drama schools have had their funding cut (as have all arts subjects) which means they seek to make money elsewhere as in - if it's not in the prop cupboard you'll have to buy it yourself, whereas I do not recall DS having to buy a single item for his BSc degree  for the whole 4 years he was there. DD's college canteen has high mark up prices (even compared to what I find locally) which was costing DD by not being organised with her lunches and why we bought her a food shop to deal with it (it didn't cost us any real cash as we bought a supermarket gift card with DH's loyalty points) and then there's the high contact hours which impact on her finding work. When DS didn't look for a p-time job that was done to his choices at the time rather than availability - he found something on-line when he got stuck in his student digs during the pandemic having chosen not to come home. The long 6 weeks hol she got off for Christmas, she was ill for most of it, which impacted on any casual work she might have found. She did make a little money on Vinted. 

Everything adds to the chaos I write here about. This is why I want to nail DH into doing things like sorting out the bedding because if everything is stream-lined and has a place, then there's no last minute search for travel adapters in the wrong cupboard or DD claiming she's got all her clothes together when she's not checked for socks. 

Tbf about the socks, DD has included them on a list of items she would like as a stocking present (list sent at my request). It was me who ignored the wish  for 'loads of socks' because I thought we'd just come across a shedload when she fetched her stuff home, so pointless getting more. That's why we funded them, because she had flagged she was low and asked for them as a Christmas gift. She certainly should have checked though for the few pairs we did have here and binning the tweezers was just idiotic and I have no idea why. She'd even sent me a pic across of them but didn't explain properly what had happened otherwise I'd have queried the delivery a lot earlier. 

Spendless

Shrove Tuesday and I have an invite for tea at my parents to eat pancakes. I also ate there on Sunday. This meant I'd got a bit of food to use up yesterday before it went off. Settled on a beef stew in the slow cooker with loads of veg and upset the dog who thought it very unfair that he could smell food cooking  for ages without it appearing in his bowl.

Money into HI savings account has gone out today. I moved the other half already. Next goal to reach is interest paid on 15th month to some of our savings accounts

The surplus bedding was deposited in a recycling facility at Dunelm. DD's clothes have been sorted into a cupboard and she's agreed a plan to sell the items later this year with a deadline date to dispose responsibly past this date. In more interesting news on Sunday DD was at the Ivory Coast's Embassy in London watching the AFCON final between  Nigeria and IC. She was there as a guest as her friend's Dad works at the Embassy. IC won so I bet the atmosphere was fantastic. She rang me yesterday to tell me but I was in the middle of doing something, can't wait to hear more about it. 

Spendless

Monthly interest has been applied to savings accounts. Have moved it to account where I'm saving for DD's next rent. I need a further £930. Dad's cataract op has been changed from tomorrow until Monday. I had intended seeing how his op went and how he recovered over the w/end before I asked if parents were back in a position to dog sit and if so would have uploaded CV in order to apply for jobs. Will re-assess situation next week depending on how Dad is.

DH returned late last night, as he'd worked away since landing in the UK on Tues morning. He's only briefly here as he has to go away for work again tonight.

There's an irritating pop up keeps coming up when I try and type anything - not just on here, that I can't fathom out how to get shut of despite numerous attempts which is limiting how frequently I can update my diary. Will get DH to look at it.

Spendless

DH came home for less than 24 hours and set off again yesterday evening to work away again. We have the news that he can go on his worktrip to the States again in late Spring and I am able to accompany him. This will either be the last or penultimate one and we won't know which until we are back from it, so need to make the most of the time. Going to see if I can find some board for the dog today.

The owner (a relative) of the property that DS & DiL rent is having a valuation done on it as the first step to it being put up for sale. We were aware this would be happening. Owner wishes to relocate to a different part of the UK with her own family and needs to liquidate assets to facilitate such a move. I was just hoping for a little more time before the ball started rolling. 

Honeysucklelou2

Would your Ds and DiL have first refusal? Or perhaps an advantageous price if no estate agents are needed?