A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Spendless

We've chatted to DD about how we're going to have to do her student finances. Upto now it's been we pay all student rent (they've always had places inc bills) and have lived off their loan. The next halls are too expensive to do this way, instead we will need to take all her loan and top it up (I'm thankful she gets London allowance) then we will need to give her money to live on, we've suggested 350 a month for each month Sept-May when her course runs (She initially thought I meant  only 350 in total and started worrying -lol). This way fetches our contribution more in line with what we've paid before. 

My thoughts on how to make sure we have enough to fund the next few months of the above without going entirely into savings for it are as follows. Currently I take home a few pounds under 250 a week, I have 5 paydays left till the end of July when I've initially been asked to finish. If I save every penny I can from there then I have enough to cover 3 months of payments and gives me till December when I'd need to be in work again  Thankfully I haven't taken any AL since beginning of the year so can take that in money as and when I finish. There's also 200 I've paid in tax which is an overpayment - that's because when they discovered I'd been paid incorrectly the back payment fell into the 1st week of the new tax year! I know I'll get any overpayment back eventually. It does mean anything we've already committed to paying for for DS wedding will need to come out of the main savings though and won't be able to be paid back until I either find more work or paying the debt back ends.

 I've said for June-Aug next year we expect DD home to eat our food, use the WM and find seasonal work,  and if she can find work in her student area during term-time  that'd be good. Though the hours aren't as long as the course she originally wanted until she starts, gets a timetable, sees what hours of study/rehearsals she needs in addition to classwork , it's going to be hard to say what availability she has for work but I'm hoping. She's been offered 2 part time jobs here but both are yet to start, but since she doesn't have a full weekend free till after DS marries that's helpful. The 200 credit in compensation that has gone to our CC, we have paid the same amount to DD from our bank account, this has paid off her unauthorised o/draft (she couldn't have a student account at her preferred bank due to the last course only being a year long and it was decided not to look elsewhere so she couldn't run up a debt and then be back home facing it paying off if she was also going to have to spend time balancing both working and auditioning again)   and also  gave her a little left over for her to spend at the airport as she's gone to her summer school. I've had a few texts and she wasn't complimentary about the place she was staying - it was somewhere we found in budget cos she didn't want to dorm share with the suggested place - understandable since she's 20. My Mum says she's got used to the standard of rooms that she stays in courtesy of DH work and this is a reality check. (Mum also told me how she cried when she saw where my Dad had booked for their honeymoon compared to the  annual Spanish hols she went on with her parents - my Mum and Dad are just back off a cruise so they worked their way up with hols eventually -lol) 

There's 300 pending to be paid off CC1. That leaves 700 on it over 3 payments till it's gone. It won't reduce what we pay out though because that amount will need to start being paid off of CC2.

My thoughts from today till Thursday are to do 2 NSD and 2 low spend days. I need to buy a WA card today or tomorrow and on Wednesday will need to pay to get to and from work. Let's see how I get on. 

Honeysucklelou2

Well done to your DD for getting a place on the course. The accommodation fees look eye watering.  Hope the interview goes well with the agency.

Spendless

I achieved my low spend day yesterday. I found 2 x 50p as I tidied up, one on a worktop the other in a jacket pocket, so used them  to buy a  89p WA card. It rang thru the tills at 99p, so I showed the back to her and she called over a supervisor to over-ride it which he did then gave me 10p change, I pointed out this was wrong and got told it was the difference between 89pand 99p to which I replied but I hadn't received any change. Originally though I'd said it was wrong to forget it for a penny mindful there was a queue building, I decided after that I was taking it after all -lol. That was the only thing that I spent all day. Today I'm WFH and hoping to achieve a NSD. 

After a bit of a shaky start where DD disliked her accommodation, the food and initially wasn't keen on the course (which now sounds to me like she disliked a particular class!) she found somewhere that sold pizza and chips and seems quite happy . She's been sending me gorgeous  pics of her with the sea in the background. 

Spendless

So after Monday's fab low spend day the rest of the week hasn't been so good. Tuesday I really thought I'd achieved a NSD I nearly posted on here about it in the evening, then I saw a fb message from my former classmates about a reunion that takes place soon and needing a photo of those days sending in order to create a year book. I hadn't paid the money to attend as I was waiting on DD's pageant itinerary   - the final is the following day -  before making a decision about attending . However I still don't know it, so made a decision to attend anyway. We have already lost 10 of our year group, who knows how many of us will be left before another comes along. I couldn't send the photo without paying the attendance fee so late on paid out £10. 
So I thought yesterday would be a low spend day just commuting costs only I then couldn't find my purse with my debit cards in, and taking the time to find them (in a bag pocket that I reckoned I'd already checked twice!) I had no time for breakfast, had to buy something en-route and then as that had messed up my meals and how full I was for the day my downfall snack on the way home. Today I am so far at a NSD. 

The 'promised' interview hasn't materialised via my agency, I chased it earlier this week was reassured it was still in the pipeline but zilch! I wonder if my contact over hyped it.  My wages I can see pending and I'm becoming a bit anxious about I only have so many Friday pay days left. The ill colleague is now on a phased return at work, so it being extended won't be happening. My CV is stored on DH's laptop and he's been away, need him back to update and then I'll just start firing across to agencies.

 Deposit of 350 for DD's accommodation has come out of the joint account. That has taken a bit of a hammering since DH's payday last week, so highly likely money will need moving across for it. It will at least reduce the amount needed for rent the first term. My friend who asked to borrow money last month for her prescription has done so again this month. However I've had a few weeks to compose a polite but refusal reply including that any future requests will be met with a No, as in No is a sentence and no further explanations  will be given.  

DD is now loving where she is, she has now found food she's happy with pizza, burger chains and I think noodles from a Chinese (sigh - lol). She has also allegedly found on the beach a Spanish lad we'll call Jose, who looks like he should be on Love Island!. Not entirely sure I believe that Jose will have been at such a loose end at the beach by himself that he befriends DD and they decide this newly found friendship needs a drink at a local bar. Ok then -  I love how kids (even ones the law insists are adults) believe you were born old and had no life at all till they came along. Not going to begrudge her some fun though, just hope she stays safe! 

Spendless

Payday, but I'd totally forgotten that I'd borrowed money from savings last week to pay for 2 meals for me and DD at Dil2bs hen party later this month. Thankfully I still had some money left over from last week's wages to negate that but still am around £20 short in my current account of where I thought I'd be at. I want to have enough money that I can pay 3 months worth of money to DD when she starts her degree and give me some breathing space to find another job.

I did achieve a NSD yesterday. DH didn't as he asked if it was ok if we got a one off beer subscription that he's had before. Said ok because this will save us money later. Also something for DS wedding was paid for (one of the costs we took on a few weeks back). That lives us with just 2 more wedding bills to be paid on the night and still some clothing bits for all of us inc a strapless bar for me, shirts for  DH, DS and best man and  the shoes DD owns  and intended wearing the strap has snapped off - they've  been at her student digs so haven't seen them so don't know if they can be repaired or not. 

Turns out that 'Jose' is not Spanish at all but from a Latin American country - which possibly explains his very good looks. Last night's message from DD read 'Btw - I'm never coming home'  what a far cry from the first night/morning when she didn't have a good word to say about anything and I thought she was going to ask for an early flight home.  

Spendless

I'm due to start work in less than half an hour and I feel like I have no enthusiasm for it at all. I'm going to miss WFH and part-time work (I expect  whatever my next job  will be it's unlikely to offer either). I feel like I'm just going to be going through the motions today. If we were in a more financially secure situation, I'd quit but I want  and need my wages for this month

Fortune_Smiles

Spendless said:

I'm due to start work in less than half an hour and I feel like I have no enthusiasm for it at all. I'm going to miss WFH and part-time work (I expect  whatever my next job  will be it's unlikely to offer either). I feel like I'm just going to be going through the motions today. If we were in a more financially secure situation, I'd quit but I want  and need my wages for this month

It's not surprising you feel like this Spendless - I would feel exactly the same.  You've worked hard, done a good job, upheld your end of the bargain and It seems to me that they've s**t on you from a great height.  Do your job for the next month but no more - they don't deserve any discretionary effort from you.

Fortune x

PS Oh to be young again and have a Jose 🤭

Spendless

Thank you for that @Fortune_Smiles. The reality was better than the anticipation. During that day I took a phone call from a customer (confidentiality prevents me from saying what I do) who had slipped up doing something, left them potentially in a hole and wanted to know if it could at least be partially reversed. Though actually doing it and making that decision was above my skillset, I was well aware that the question could be asked and  if agreed then they could be helped so told person this and they were so grateful and told me before coming through to the department I'm in had been spoken to so condescendingly about it all. I was able to reassure that someone would at least look at the problem for her and be back in touch. I then messaged my team about the call and it was able to be worked out to a satisfactory conclusion by more senior members of my team incl my Manager who named  who it was customer had spoken to initially before our dept became involved and it went through my mind and yet he has the permanent position and I will soon lose my job due to what my friend has described as the 'computer says no' and DH as a box ticking exercise for HR. Later my friend is coming to help with an application in another department and show how to fill in these forms correctly. I will also be updating my CV and applying for other jobs. 



DD is home having loved the course, made several new International friends. DH has fetched back most of the contents of DD's flat, I have absorbed her food into our cupboards, which should help with our grocery bills.

  

Spendless

Brief update as I try and get my head round the recent board changes (my initial thought is I'm not a fan).  I have had some more agencies contact me about work, some I then don't hear back from others are still in the pipeline. A new person will be in 'my' post in a months time and I've been potentially asked if I could stay a further two weeks to accommodate this. I have said yes purely because of the wages. Should I find anything sooner I will go before this date. Having an extra couple of weeks wages has cut me some slack because we have last minute expenses for DD's pageant this weekend, plus I'm attending a school reunion 

The toxic ex reappeared sending DD a message in the early hours of the morning  the other day, accusing her of messaging his latest relationship (who he has also broken up from), accusing her of telling lies about him and the last sentence was a particular nastily worded threat. Not having a clue what he was on about she messaged his last gf and discovered that she'd been in contact with another girl DD knows and is friendly with who has also been on the receiving end of the toxic exes behaviour. I suspect that all the things he's done were discussed inc to what he's done to DD and the latest gf then confronted him and  then he messaged both DD and her friend    Even when they were together my DH observed that he would lash out if he ever found himself  cornered, which sounds to me that is what has happened (typical narc rage!)  Proving you should always listen to your parents my Mum predicted 12 months+ ago that he would eventually find himself in a position where 'girl code' would kick in and they would all start warning each other about him. I didn't believe her at the time because he was by then dating DD's ex friend and I thought if girls DD knows and is friendly with refuse to listen why would strangers - turns out Mum knows best even in her late 70s! The latest gf has admitted he's messed with her head big time and that's only after a couple of months relationship, him and DD were together 2 years!  I remain grateful that my friend identified his nature and that I've been able to document it on here, in addition to it documenting our debt repayments.   

 He then told DD he had spent 2 years building up a relationship with a top London lawyers (yeah - right)  to get a case together for defamation as she called him a narcissist. DD's response was to say go ahead, as he was forgetting the small matter that he had written a musical about her without her permission that he was putting on to the paying public and that IS defamation and suggested he spent any alleged money he had on getting himself some good therapy instead (lol). She then said that if he threatened her again she'd report him to the police (I was told months ago by the DA advisor I saw that if he continued then she had a case)  and then blocked him. I suspect he'll turn back up again at some point unfortunately! 

Spendless

I had a job interview yesterday, temping again 6 months maternity cover. Unsure how I got on - the agency concerned said I had good feedback, but I was aware that I'm rusty on some standard questions and really should have brushed up. DD pointed out she has a title/award for Interview Queen in the Pageantry world and I need to run through some Q & A's with her - can't believe I'd not thought of this.

For the first time since the mortgage was paid off, the main acc has gone overdrawn. I did say a few posts ago that it had had a battering not helped by the news I was losing my job and needing to save my wages to help DD when she starts degree that she was only offered last month. There are monies to be transferred over from other accounts though when we get chance as this weekend is proving to be a busy one. DS and Dil2b are going back to where she's from for their wedding rehearsal. I am attending a school reunion and it is DD's pageant final. DH unwittingly agreed to run DS to his wedding rehearsal forgetting it was DD's pageant! They are both in different areas of the country to where we live all in a 2 miles apart each journey triangle! Wedding place doesn't have public transport to it and DD can't catch the train with a great big ballgown and other accessories she needs!  It meant that DH was spending hours driving on Saturday running everyone around. Then an opportunity arose for DD to get some last minute coaching and we hit on the idea of sending her off by train today using  her railcard and could get her in a hotel free tonight courtesy of enough points on DH's loyalty card (thank heavens for this - it's helped us out of no end of fixes!)  and then we will take over the items she needs in the car on Sunday. This means DH take DS tomorrow and then on Sunday we take DD's items over and watch her. We'll likely need to be there earlier than initially planned to hand over her stuff so will get lunch out or find something to do. 

I spent my day off yesterday with DD buying her some items she still needed, these all came in reasonable, the extras didn't! I can't believe the price charged being charged to style someone's hair at the event! Not wash it or anything else, purely style. My Mum has been a hairdresser since she left school in 1960, still does the odd appointment now and doesn't have a single treatment that runs into 3 figures - jeez!  

DD started training for her p-time job. She is working at  an outlet that sells designer bags - not naming them but if I give the clue 'woof' you might be able to work it out. She discovered the staff discount is a whacking two thirds - shows how much mark up is on them! - though she was disappointed to discover that was off the full retail and not the outlet price - lol. Her having some money of her own again will be helpful. 

CC payments for this month have all gone through. Usually credit is applied to our savings on 15th of each month but with that falling at the weekend it will be delayed until Monday, after this we pay anything on the current CB CC that is due. I asked DH if he wanted to consider us taking an additional year to re-pay debt (currently we're looking at Autumn 2024 as DFD) due to my job situation and DD's student costs but he was reluctant to do this so just got to hope things will turn out ok.