A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Spendless

The cashback CC statement has come in and is due for payment June 1st. Have gone through it all, I need £400 from my bank account to pay the additional educational expenses due to DD's auditions. I have around 2/3 of this already and have already earnt the remainder, which will be paid next Friday. There's DD's accommodation cost on there which is already sat in my savings account. A relative generously bought DS and Dil2b an early wedding present for £200  (DH visiting now so will get the money) and that just leaves £65 to come out of our joint account for some items we bought. I vetoed DH putting some everyday expenses on the cb CC. I'm aware we'd  receive more if we did, but not being organised is how we fell into CC debt in the first place. DH used to have to put his numerous work expenses on his own CC, frequently he'd turn them in late, or they'd pay them out late, we'd not have the money to pay the balance off, we'd accrue interest and we didn't keep on top of things. Even when we once paid them off - I said at the beginning I once had a previous diary on here - we didn't learn any lessons. Throw in me in and out of work, DD becoming ill and me taking time our to care for her and then Kids Uni expenses and here we are! I'll be honest, I can't wait for our DFD to arrive (back end of next year all being well) and never be in this position again.

I was considering going to some shops today just for some retail therapy with some small items I'd seen and fancied buying, but I've decided against it. Not just the cost  of the items involved but I would also need to put petrol in my car whereas as things currently stand I don't need to use my car for the next few days as I'm either WFH, commuting or on my next day off have a hospital appt where I'm not allowed to drive anyway.

Once I've allocated part of next weeks wages to the CC, then I am going to spend some of it on attending some events. DD realised recently that her proximity to London will be ending over the next month or so (her course finishes in June) which saddened her. She has less classes now so I've suggested I travel to the Capital  soon and we go watch some theatre together. 




 

Humdinger1

@Spendless your dd is truly amazing! Proud mummy moment, no?!  Yep, know the one about not clearing ccs...would you like to guess how many times I had to clear a 20k (do not adjust your set, that is really twenty thousand pounds) cc bill through not paying my work expenses off? Once, I hear you say...maybe twice? No, make that three times...and that was years before the 140k I cleared over several years.  That was the true lbm.  Well done for waking up before you fell into the biggest hole in creation.  Love Humdinger xx

Ps now living a contented debt free life on very little money 

Spendless

Thank you Humdinger for sharing that experience. Fantastic that you got there in the end.   I do feel sometimes where has this debt come from, we don't have designer clothes (or if we do it's cos they were bought at an outlet or TK Maxx -lol), didn't have loads of extravagant hols - the times we took the kids to Florida we already had the money for that or extensive house renovations, but it has been created just like you've said and by us not being organised. The day Mr S told me his workplace were doing company credit cards, I breathed a sigh of relief. We both have office/paperwork type jobs and wouldn't be as disorganised in our professional lives but did it at home - I'  know I've used the analogy before like the plumber who doesn't fix the leaking taps at their own home.

So speaking of jobs, I queried again  what was happening re the post I'm working at being advertised as permanent and was told that it's still being looked at including that it may be a 2.5 day role rather than the 3 full days I currently do. This is apparently a HR directive, my line manager would prefer it to be 3 days. On telling DH he asked if I'd prefer to start looking for something else, but I don't think I do, not yet anyway. As I said to him I looked for part-time admin for years in the private sector it just doesn't exist where I live. This way I can work part-time, change my days around at times and WFH 2 of the days too which limits how many times I have to ask my parents to step in for dog-sitting duties. 

However I am bearing in mind that I may only have wages until the end of next month, so am saving as much as I can from it. I got into that mindset anyway when I was saving for DD's rent. 

Humdinger1

The cobbler's children are always the worst shod.  You are doing brilliantly @Spendless love Humdinger xx 

Honeysucklelou2

What a thoughtful response from your DD to the birthday child! 

That sounds tough having to put work expenses on your own credit card and then presumably claim back. What relief it must have been when the work credit card was issued.

How have the auditions gone for your DD?

Spendless

Honeysucklelou2 said:

What a thoughtful response from your DD to the birthday child! 

That sounds tough having to put work expenses on your own credit card and then presumably claim back. What relief it must have been when the work credit card was issued.

How have the auditions gone for your DD?

Thank you Lou. Yes, it was a pain. Then DH didn't submit his claims in time or didn't travel to the HO (100 miles away) to do it and they'd be paid out late. The bill would come in we couldn't pay it (I didn't work due to childcare costs when they were pre-school age) and the interest would go on, add in us perhaps putting oddments of our own on eg a meal and it all built up. We were disorganised and life though other events at us too. I will be very glad when we're at the end. We put a meal on the CB CC last night as DS come out with us (his gf has gone to visit her family for wedding related stuff) and DH commented that we're actually not far off the limit with this as it's a low one - that is due to DD's rent being on it. I was pleased to hear it was only a low limit. I'm waiting for the interest to be applied to our savings accounts where the money to pay off the card is currently sat, before we do the payment.

Unfortunately not so good. She has heard from the place she currently studies at that she is unlikely to get a place with her preferred choices. She's upset. I  had expected this to be the case when she told me what had happened at audition - of course not helped that the last boyfriend had dumped her by text as she was travelling down to it - 3 days before her birthday (so he didn't have to do/buy her anything for it IMO!). This leaves just 2 places, one is a long shot, the other I'm unsure she really wants. She did discover another still open though to apply for. However she has also applied to work as an actor at a tourist attraction, a job she did last summer too but at a different location. No idea how she will sort out the finances and logistics should she get it, but just leaving it with her for now.


   

EssexHebridean

That's a shame about DD - but I'm sure one way or another she will find a way through it all, she's already proved how resilient she is in the face of everything she's gone through.

As far as debt goes, I reckon general "disorganisation" - AKA lack of budgeting and keeping track of a budget is probably the reason for somewhere about 980% of the people who arrive here. There is an assumption that budgeting is just something people know how to do, but allowing that it's not been taught in schools really, it relies on parents realising that it's a skill that they need to teach, along with them then having the ability to get the information across in a way that can be understood and acted on. If children have never seen their parents budgeting, and never really had it explained to them why they can't have that "thing" they are coveting that "all their friends have" then they can't join the dots and translate that into their own lives once they are earning money and paying bills. Once you know about it, it becomes both simple and logical - but until someone has the knowledge, it just falls under the heading of "we don't know the things we don't know" a lot of the time.

Spendless

We paid last month's CC bill. We waited until the interest had been applied on our savings accounts and then paid it. It wasn't due till the beginning of next month but we had it plus we've put some other stuff on it since the last statement so before we got into a muddle again paid it. One of the things we have now put on it is this to celebrate our wedding anniversary next month. We spent 2 years having it in lockdowns unable to do anything so have booked this https://www.eastlancsrailway.org.uk/experiences/dining-experiences/red-rose-diner/

means an o/night stop but DH has used loyalty points for the hotel. I have a bottle of prosecco already in, so think I will just pay the corkage fee rather than buy my drinks onboard. DH will though as he dislikes wine.

No news for DD, she didn't get the job she went for which she was gutted about and didn't understand as she worked for their sister attraction for 6 months last year. It would have thrown up an accommodation problem if she had got it once her tenancy runs out. As it is she has booked to go do a drama summer school abroad, again this was something she should have done 3 years ago but the pandemic happened. She has got various events to keep her busy at various points in the summer but by September at the latest will need to find a job if she hasn't secured a degree place.

I have been and bought most of the rest of my accessories for DS wedding. I went to a neighbouring town and there was so much choice there in their little shops, I wish I'd gone there first. Anyway I now have a handbag and  (costume) jewellery. I need a different bra to wear under my dress, possibly clip on ear-rings and maybe some tights, I don't always get on with them but my dress has a slit at the front (not a revealing one!) so am not sure how well bare legs will look.

My job is to be advertised but at a higher grade than what I currently work at. Consequently I might not fill the complete skill set for their requirements. I'll apply but no guarantee I'll be successful. Currently my job is to finish at the end of June. 

Yankee24

As a fellow mum, I like your updates about the kids.  Launching them is hard.. when to support, when to hold up a mirror.  My dd has gone down a charity route post graduation-   I am a sr leader in business..   I just get a bit sad that some professions are so underpaid… and also worry she has Buckinghamshire tastes on a hackney budget!

Spendless

I like that phrase  @Yankee24 and totally agree with you.

Tomorrow is DH's payday and anything left at close of business tonight will be moved to savings. This month and even this week we've had additional expenses and if we still had a mortgage would have gone overdrawn for the first time this year.  . Suppose this fetches home the sooner the CC debt is gone, the easier it will become. I have some wages left and next get paid on Friday so will try and  save as  much as possible, 

The next 2 weeks fetch fresh challenges, monetary and otherwise. This week I'm working more days all from home so no  commuting costs involved. Next week DH is away with work (same place I accompanied him to at the beginning of the year) so should be minimal costs during the week too. I've got some ideas of things to do in the home whilst he's away - hopefully nothing that will cost much or even anything at all. 

Recent events have brought to light concerns with wedding expenses and also problems with DD at both her drama school and workplace. I'm not at liberty to go into full details with any of these but will explain more fully when I'm able ie -  when I'm not about to start work.

What I can say is I am very glad we're in a better place financially and otherwise since the day I started this diary.