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A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

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  • edited 13 March at 11:21AM
    SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    edited 13 March at 11:21AM
    Just been informed by DH that he has received an email giving him a fine for staying in the car park at the hotel he went to when DD auditioned earlier this month. He said he asked on his way out about the car park charge and was told 'it didn't matter'

    Unfortunately DH doesn't have the level of attention to detail skills I have (which are both a blessing and a curse) , who would have checked word for word what a car park sign said and queried why I was being told 'it didn't matter' to the person on reception. As it stands he has no evidence that this is what he was told. 

    Not sure of fine amount - hope this is going to be 2 steps forward 3 steps back like it's been in the past!

    DD still can't find her bank card. We put some more money of her money on her Sainsbury's student card so she could get some groceries. Though I wasn't best pleased she'd spent £10  on a pizza and a bottle of wine for boyf coming over (this was half of the money she had on the card at that point,) and I did think considering boyf works f-time and lives with his Mum  he could have perhaps paid for the pizza as she didn't have access to her money. Understand him not paying for wine as he drives there and back but still. That is one thing I will say about the ex he was always considerate and generous where money was concerned. Not that  that makes up for his other failings. The musical was put on recently. Haven't heard so far anything about it, hopefully barely anyone attended - I was very much hoping for snow or rail disruption, but the performing arts world is relatively small so I suspect it will eventually filter back to DD.

    Realising we now didn't have a CC to put any large spends on such as hols or furniture for the protection that gives (then pay in full) DH applied for a cashback CC and we are waiting for that to come through. He also set up a savings account where the money over and above the min payment of 0% will be sent to monthly and then we will pay off at the end of the 0% term. He also saw a card where we can top it up and DD use it as a debit card. He's going to apply for that and then give her to store somewhere safe and use only in case of emergency. She has been told to contact her bank to report her lost card this week. Hopefully her struggling without access to money will teach her a valuable lesson in where she puts her stuff! It's something that really frustrates me with her, I've never once  lost a purse or a bank card! 


    ETA - As  this is appropriate to my last sentences above. Just as I finished typing, the postman put a parcel through my letterbox.  I'm a huge fan of the shop TK Maxx and joined their loyalty scheme. Each time you buy something and show your card you receive a 'treasure' point (max of one point a day). After so many points you can go on their website and select whatever treasure is on offer. I went on a few weeks back and didn't think they had much but they did have a  limited edition Mr Man/Little Miss hardback A5 lined journal/notebook and selecting that also gave a donation to Comic Relief. You couldn't choose what Mr Man character you were just got what was sent.   I've opened it up and it's Mr Forgetful and the slogan on it reads 'where did I just put my to do list' hahahaha. I'm putting it away for DD's birthday at the end of the month -lol'
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    Would you believe in the  of sorting out of the interest paying CC to a 0% and then borrowing money from savings for the amount not transferred that I'd forgotten about the original 0% CC.  DH came and mentioned it, he'd semi-forgotten too! Putting it down to not totally thinking straight after Nan's death,

    So we now have
    0% CC1 - This will be paid off towards the end of the year.
    0% CC2 - 1st payment hasn't started yet (think I muddled up thinking it has with CC1 payment). This is due to be paid off before the end of next year.

    SO to savings account. This is to pay back the amount left over from interest paying CC that we weren't able to transfer over - this is also due to end before end of next year in line with CC2. 

    Savings - We are paying the minimum amount (ish) on CC2. The balance is being paid into a new savings account DH has set up. This is so this amount builds with interest and is ready to pay off CC2 at the end of the 0% period.

    All this amounts to less than we were paying when we had a mortgage but I'll still be happier when it has all gone. 

    I am far more obsessed with my online bank account than I used to be and constantly checking balances. We have just over 2 weeks till DH's next payday. The bank account looks ok at the minute, but I know that the last week of the month will be expensive as DD is auditioning all over the country, so need to prepare as much as possible for that. Monday & Tuesday were non spend days, yesterday wasn't as I commuted into work, bought food on the way home - a bad habit I need to stop and also bought DH a  BNWT travel bag online from a pre-loved site. This will come in later as it will be saved as a present for his birthday/Christmas. I've shopped year round for presents for many years (dating back to the days when I was single, but had a mortgage on my own and knew in the January it was likely I'd lose my job that December and wondered how I'd managed). I still get the feeling that I'm spending money I don't 'need' to at that point but I am always relieved when the occasion day falls and I've already got something in. Mother's day at the end of this year from the same site. I'd bought myself one of the bags just to try out, Mum admired it, so I've got her one. Think it's possibly going to be slightly too big for her  as day to day use, but she's going on a cruise later this year and I used my bag as my carry on luggage and it fitted all sorts in, so might be handy for that. 

    DD says she has sent for a new bank card. Let's hope because it's becoming difficult her having no access to money and us helping her.  

    Today won't be NS either as  the dog is at the groomers and I have people coming to clean the oven, something else that was paid for yesterday. Was last cleaned professionally pre pandemic and though I've done it myself a few times since, there's still areas they do, that I don't manage to especially the glass door. 

    Mum is calling later as she was house sitting in case oven people called whilst I was taking dog to groomers. She's been overwhelmed by Nan's death and sorting it out (though it's a relatively easy one). Nan's account got frozen (Mum had LPA and is sole executor of her will) the money has now been released into a new account of Mums, but during the time it was frozen an amount was paid in and the balance transferred out doesn't match, so some got taken out.   Don't think it's anything untoward, likely people are going to be my Nan's priavate pension provider (money in) and LA for care home fees (money out) but because figures don't match, a statement has now been asked for to clarify exactly who did the transactions. With Mum round, hopefully I get to talk to her without Dad constantly interrupting and over-talking her! 

    No more news on my job yet. As I'm agency I asked my boss if I could access a voluntary training course (I have to do mandatory ones even though I'm not a direct employer), he asked the question and I can. I offered to do it in my own time and booked an online session for one of my non working days. When my boss saw it, he told me I could do it in work time in person, so really pleased I can do this. It's a sleep workshop. Each day I wake up in the middle of the night and then it takes me a few hours to return to sleep. I know historically there was a second sleep, writers such as Chaucer mentioned it. I have regressed back to that time and find it so frustrating so hoping to find some techniques to stop it. 



  • Humdinger1Humdinger1 Forumite
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    @Spendless re the parking 'fine' there is a very active board on here talking about this very issue; one major contributor @Coupon-mad is on the govt committee driving changes to the law.  Worth heading over there and posting.  Good luck with everything love Humdinger xx 
  • jokonojokono Forumite
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    Re parking - talking to the hotel is going to be plan A recommended on that board, if they know you stayed there they can get the parking management company to cancel the fee.
    01.12.2020 - CC £16,839 / Loan £18,820 / EF £0
    05.05.2023 - CC (0%) £10,403 / Loan £0 / Savings £8,083
  • edited 16 March at 6:06PM
    KxMxKxMx Forumite
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    edited 16 March at 6:06PM
    My Mum had debit card issues recently (right in the middle of a house move, nightmare), she's never seen the need for a back up account, doesn't have a credit card.
    Given her recent troubles she is now going to follow my advice to have a second current account elsewhere, and keep a few hundred pounds in there! 
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    KxMx said:
    My Mum had debit card issues recently (right in the middle of a house move, nightmare), she's never seen the need for a back up account, doesn't have a credit card.
    Given her recent troubles she is now going to follow my advice to have a second current account elsewhere, and keep a few hundred pounds in there! 
    I wish my parents had gone to another bank for a second current account. Instead they approached their own bank to put the money from Nan in and got a savings account. I did think it was odd they were describing to me a 2nd account with a cheque book in both names at the same place, but Mum has been overwhelmed since Nan died. So it didn't really surprise me to hear they'd told me wrong and it was a savings account they'd opened instead. The only way to move money from there is either in person in the branch or through internet banking that they don't know how to do. They have Nan's last care home bill to pay and want to pay by cheque as the bill has been adjusted due to date she died, so Mum wants to pay this way. My view is they're better off not doing it yet anyway because they are waiting for a detailed statement coming from the bank from the time Nan's bank account was frozen as transactions went through. It won't be anything untoward, likely suspects are private pension provider and LA for care home fees but it still needs establishing who took money in and out and why before anything is paid out.

    My wages have gone in today. I now have £629 towards DD's student accommodation. Would have been £669 if I hadn't spent £40 on a bag for DH the other day, but I'd been thinking it would suit him for some time (he travels a lot) and was cheaper than buying brand new from the stockist. Accommodation is due to be paid by end of April. If I keep my job I will only be 2 weeks short of the money for it but I'm still waiting to hear. My boss does have a tendency to ring me on a Friday when I work from home, so see if there's any update - watch this space!  
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    I miscalculated, I have £649 towards DD's rent not £629, which means if I hadn't bought the £40 bag, I would be heading close to having £700 in the bank, almost 1/3 of the next instalment.  As I did buy the bag, I think I may set myself a mini challenge to pay the cost back, £1 a day until next student rent is due.  

     I will check with DH who has all the details but I think the next bill due is £2500. Student accommodation can be so expensive and we've been paying these bills since 2018, though last year was the killer with 2 lots to pay. I'm glad DS is independent now. He's fortunate to have low private rent and can walk to work which all helps and they'd be in an even better position if his gf was working rather than just ad-hoc work from work - but it's not up to me to force the issue. We would step in in an emergency, buy the higher spend items if needed as a birthday/xmas gift - such as  we bought him a  coat for his recent birthday, a decent warm one as he walks to work because he ripped his recently and help out by driving them to the supermarket but that's it, his costs have gone - not that he was ever an expensive child - unlike DD!   


    Today we have someone coming to replace 2 upstairs windows. 1 is the broken one from last year but because since having these windows put in years ago we had a conservatory on the back, it's meant we've never been able to clean them on the outside. For this reason more expensive tilt and turn ones are being put in. It's why I've been in no rush to get the work done. I'm happy for us to use savings in this way now we have the debt under control.   

    DH is going to speak to dil2b parents today about us adding a drinks package to their wedding. They are from a faith where they don't tend to drink much alcohol, so not expecting them to bare that cost. We were also going to pay registrar/legal fees too but there seems to be a different process in place from when they got engaged and it was first looked into which is cheaper. DD's bridesmaid dress is also being fetched over today by Dil2bs parents. It was ordered on-line and I've no idea why it was put as delivery to Dil2bs parents address instead of mine or hers since her parents live 100 miles North of where we do and DD is studying in the South and is only occasionally home!  That will have to be taken to the dressmakers during the Easter hols because it will need taking up at least. 

    Unfortunately there's still no more news on y job - my manager rang me yesterday afternoon and said his boss had not replied to his question, said he'd bring it up in a manager's meeting on Monday, so I will see what the answer is when I'm next in. Over the weekend I will update my CV and get ready to hit send off to places early next week unless there's a positive answer. 
  • Honeysucklelou2Honeysucklelou2 Forumite
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    How long until the wedding? I can’t believe how fast time is going. It’s just 2 and a half months until my DD1’s!
    paydbx2023 #36 £1415/£4300 . 2023 savings challenge £5/£2000 EF £60. Savings 2 £10.00
  • ayupmeduckayupmeduck Forumite
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    If your daughter knows her bank details and has ID she could have gone to the bank to get cash out, also why not sent for a new card right away?
    Debt £19181 | Savings £0Aims: Buy first home 2026-8. £20k deposit
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    How long until the wedding? I can’t believe how fast time is going. It’s just 2 and a half months until my DD1’s!
    Just under 5 months.

    @ayupmeduck - Unsure if it's open Saturdays and her course is 9-6 Mon-Fri with rehearsals, auditions, and coursework on top. .  As to why DD doesn't do anything straight away - I'm still trying to work that one out myself almost 20 years on (it is possible she has undiagnosed ADHD and I believe disorganisation can be an indicator - she is her own worse enemy with that one though, if she put coping strategies in place then she wouldn't lose as much stuff!) 
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