Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my mother-in-law to share the money she's made selling my stuff?

Thrugelmir

Tim11111000111 said:

Her evasive answer regarding it being "impossible to work out" how much she had earned on the items suggests to me that it wasn't a straightforward gift 

Do you keep meticulous records when you sell items at a car boot sale ? Or are you too busy watching and talking to people.......

johnbailey

No, unless you agreed that you would share it at the outset.. You gave her the stuff to sell. She's done all the work.

carriebradshaw

You should never assume anything, always make your intentions clear from the start. If you just gave the items to your MIL without instructions as to your wishes,then they're hers to sell as she wishes and profit from,free & clear...but if the agreement was to sell for YOU to make money from then tell her that's what you expect so she can keep track of the sales and take an agreed cut for her time & effort. 

ladyholly

Why dont you get up at the crack of dawn, heave the stuff out of your car (having loaded it the day before), arrange it on tables, the floor or whatever. Stand with a smile on your face answering stupid questions, telling people you wont take 10p for an item worth £s, packing stuff up for customers and then at the end packing what is left back in the car, going home and unloading the car. Car boots are not a social occasion they are hard work and I dont know how old your mother in law is but as you get older all this becomes harder. Work out out how many car boots sales she has done, the percentage of the goods she has sold that were yours and the hours work she has done and then see if she has made more than minimum wage.

I have sold stuff for my daugghter when I gave her the money a agreed by previous arrangemnt but she has also given me stuff because she cannot be bothered to take it to the charity shop. Personally I always check which it is and she knows that  if she gives me stuff she will not get anything.

Even ebaying takes time and effort.

squirrel59

This sounds uncannily like a previous 'dilemma'... Anyway, you gave her the stuff and so it was hers to do with as she wished. Why in Heaven's name should she pay you?? You don't think you're being very greedy here? Besides, you can't invent rules after the event. Next time you want her to give her anything, discuss and agree terms beforehand. Move on.

JayD

If it bothers you so much, then stop giving her things to sell!

Then either sell them yourself or give them to a charity shop.

You are clearing out unwanted stuff at very little effort by giving it to her

Whereas, she is willing to book a pitch, pay for it, load the car, drive there, pay for the petrol, set up a stall, stand there selling for at least a couple of hours, pack up and load up her car with what's left and then drive home.

So do you really think you are entitled to what profit she might make from all that effort (and the expense)???

Maybe if you took part in all of that, I might think you had some caused to feel you should get a little of any of the profits back. However, as you don't - I don't.

NowVillager

What everyone else has said - you didn't agree to split the profits before you gave her the stuff and you didn't do any of the work. As things stand, she has every right to think the items were given freely and that she's saving you the effort and cost of advertising them, going to a charity shop or recycling them. If you've now realised they're worth something and you want a share, you can renegotiate before giving any other items - but don't be surprised if she decides to deduct her costs and time first!

fifty-something

No more for the old bat!
Take your surplus stuff to a charity shop.

Miss_Elly

It sounds as if you gave her the stuff to sell but, if you did, did you make this clear?  If not, it's hers to do with as she sees fit.  Having said this, as mother-in-law to three men, I'd be delighted to share a return on stuff they'd given me because, with young families to support, they all need the money more than I do.  We really don't have enough information to make a considered judgment, do we?