Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my mother-in-law to share the money she's made selling my stuff?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

She sells goods at car boot sales, including items I've given her - the majority of which are brand new. I presumed I would see a return, but when I asked her if she'd made anything on what I'd given her, she said with the cost of the pitch, petrol and her time, it was impossible to work out. Yet I recently discovered she has £500 saved from all this.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

  If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

  Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

ElefantEd

You gave your m-i-l the items - so they are now hers to do what she wishes with. It may be a bit rude of her to sell them on instead of using or enjoying them, but that's up to her.

I wouldn't be giving her anything else in a hurry though!

fenwick458

MSE_Kelvin said:

I presumed I would see a return

people should never presume anything.

Either sell the stuff yourself or give it away for free. you can't expect to have someone sell your old unwanted stuff and then give you the profits!

bikaga

Has she made £500 from 100 items of which you gave 5, or of 100 items of which you gave 90?
It sounds like a toxic situation, either she's lying to you or you're spying on her questioning how much she makes and doubting what she says.
Most of all you (like most of the folks posting here!) need a good long honest chat with her about what you were expecting, why you're disappointed, and if you can figure out something that works for you both. A group of random strangers won't know your exact situation.

Louispastrami

Hello. Unless you had an agreement to split the money, why on earth should she give it to you? She relieved you of the pain of doing a car boot sale yourself! You could have sold them yourself but you chose not to. 

In short - no! Of course not!!

annibell79

If you gave these items to her as a gift, then it's up to her what she does with them. But if you gave them to her specifically to be sold at the boot fair was she aware that you were giving them to be sold on your behalf? You should have made it clear what you expected when you gave them to her. 

Hadenoughofitall

You said you gave them to her so i don't see why you should expect to share the profit from the sale. What if they failed to sell, would you be offering to share the cost of the pitch, the petrol and the time she spent on this? 

Bored_Bored_Bored

If you give stuff away, you lose all right to decide what happens to it or to profit from it.

MalMonroe

No.

If you wanted to share her profits with her, then maybe you could have discussed with her what she intended to do with the items you gave her at the outset. Then you could have shared the costs and gone to a car boot sale together.

You obviously didn't want the items you gave her - whether they were new or not - and they became hers to do with as she thought fit. She decided to sell them. 

Now you want a share. But she did all the hard work - she went to the trouble of arranging a pitch, paying a fee and travelling to and from a boot sale with maybe a mix of items that she had already and wanted to get rid of and the stuff you gave her.  

You don't know that the £500 is all profit from what you gave her and as she said, she has her costs to consider.

Don't be mean. You gave her the stuff because you didn't want it. She made a profit from it. You could have sold it yourself on ebay or amazon or Facebook marketplace, or at a boot sale yourself, if you had wanted to make a profit from it. But you didn't want to and she did. Lesson learned.

If there is a next time, ask if you can share all the costs and go along with her, then you can ask for a share. As it is, she's done all the hard work, she deserves the reward. Car boot sales are no picnic!

Davebingham1979

Suck it up and don't be so naive next time.  Put it down to experience.

Or you want to create long term problems for a few quid?

Sheepster

Unbelievable!
Did you sort through the stuff? Did you label and value it? Did you get up at stupid o clock to secure a pitch at a popular car boot, have to run the gauntlet of traders making aggressive insulting offers, put up all morning (easily 6 hours the time these sales start or longer even)? Did you use your petrol and effort for all this? Did you get your lazy backside there? No…no…no! 

So why should you or someone just step in and take the proceeds of all that work? 

Then again, if you don’t like it, don’t give her stuff next time…. Sorted