Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my mother-in-law to share the money she's made selling my stuff?

Thrugelmir

Take your own stuff to the car boot sale. Sounds as if you want a return for doing nothing. 

OctaviaP

Unless you gave her the things to sell, you've no right to any monies from what she decided to do with them. They were hers to sell.

CapeTown

I disagree with most of the posters. Your mother in law should offer you some money for what she has sold. I think it is greedy of her not to. But for the sake of family peace say nothing. Do a car boot yourself.

Clara100

Car boot sales are hard work! If your mother-in-law is willing to put in the time and effort of setting up and selling the goods ( often for a lot less than expected) then good on her. I don’t think you should ask her for a share of the money. 

t14cy_t

selling stuff at a car boot is very hard work!!  why not go along with her to see how things are done? i have a friend who has given me stuff to put on ebay for them and i give him the profits but equally he has given me stuff to do with as i please. where moneys concerned you should always clarify what you both see as fair. 

nightstar12

Personally, I think its one thing to ask for money from your husband, but anyone else is out of order. The mother-in-law isn't tied to you legally and I wouldn't want to think that just because I married their son/daughter that they have to provide/care for me to too. If she was selling a few of the items I voluntarily donated for her to sell then I would let her keep the money unless I asked specifically for her to sell it for me to have the money. If it was going to be a money issue like this I'd rather sell everything myself rather than risk my relationship with the mother-in-law with petty cash items

mrpunk50

No.

Nice easy one. 

pollypenny

Recipe for a family rift.  No, leave it.  

concerned4mymoney

Start a row with your MIL at your peril ! 🤣  Is it really worth it? 

What would you have done with the stuff anyway? 
If you were going to donate it to charity or just throw it away, you wouldn't have had any money for it.

As others have said, the MIL has worked damn hard to be able to squirrel away that little bit of money.
Do you have any idea what she is keeping that money to one side for?  It may be the one thing that gives her a sense of achievement at the moment.
For some, it could be bit of a security blanket/life-line.
Or she could be planning to do something generous for your family later.

Be pleased you have helped her to get to a £500 milestone in her savings - and decide whether you are happy to continue to help her in the future, if you are going to do the hard work and sell the stuff yourself, or if you take away her little bit of pleasure and donate the stuff to charity.

If you aren't sure, why not offer to do a sale with her; you could share the pitch costs and each sell your own stuff.  You will either love it and bond with her, or hate it and decide she deserves every penny she makes from your unwanted stuff ☺

Tim11111000111

I would say it would depend on what you mean by you "gave" the items to her.

If they were purely gifts to her, then they are hers to do with as she wishes - including selling them and keeping the money. I appreciate it can be a bit hurtful if someone sells your gifts rather than treasuring them, but it is what it is.

On the other hand, if you gave them to her so that she could sell them at the car boot sale on your behalf, then I agree you should expect a return. She should get a cut too - to cover the costs mentioned and presumably a bit more on top for her time/effort, but you should still get something back.

I suppose there could be a third scenario which is between the two - you gave her the items on the expectation the she would sell them, but they were still gifts. I.e. "I don't want this but you could probably make a few bob selling it at those car boot sales you go to so you might as well have it". Depending on exactly what was said, it is possible there is genuine confusion between this scenario and the second one. However, reading between the lines, is it possible this was the true scenario, but, having realised how much money she has made, you know wish it was the second one and are trying to retrospectively change the arrangement? 

Her evasive answer regarding it being "impossible to work out" how much she had earned on the items suggests to me that it wasn't a straightforward gift and that the latter scenarios might be closer to the truth. It does sound to me like she knows she owes you something and is trying to avoid coughing up, but at the same time we don't know all the details (and we have only heard one side of the story!)