Learning to walk before I run

savingholmes

Hi - I know you can't usually close it via the app - I'm just agreeing with you how annoying it is and wishing they would change it!!

edinburgher

As the new arrival approaches I've been doing a lot of soul searching about the big topics, sleep deprivation and dirty nappies life direction and what I draw enjoyment from. I am feeling a bit like a boring robot or chatbot at the moment that derives satisfaction from totting up his spreadsheets and little else   I think that the positives of robust financial planning have distracted me from the fact that they are a means to an end, not an end of itself. All the little payments, checking the savings apps, making a few £ from referrals on R3ddit is just distraction from the fact that I don't really know how else to relax. It has become as bad as mobile phone addiction is for some people (and I've got that too, just about money)!

To that end, I am going to try and make a few changes to stop myself and those I love from going mental. The constant chopping and changing needs to stop, it sometimes feels like I gamify things so much that I am sitting on shifting sands. Things need to continue to be simpler. Ideas that I've come up with so far:

1. Be more present for my family
2. Figure out what I want to do for fun
3. Switch my SIPP investments back into a single, boring, lovely Target Retirement fund  It might not be the world's best investment squeezing decision of all time ever, but it will likely be good enough. I want to retire when I'm 58, that's just under 19 years, so Vanguard Target Retirement 2040 Fund it is. I don't have the time to rebalance a 6-7 fund portfolio to try and match a benchmark and even though I try and kid myself, I need bonds. My SIPP, Mrs E's SIPP and any other savings and investments has to bridge the 10? years until SPA and all my DB pensions kicking in. I can't hack another 29 years in the office, I have to take some risk off the table if I want to retire early. I'll revisit once a year at the end of the financial year to see if this is still sensible for our needs
4. Switch my ISA investments into the same fund, to reflect the fund that they are not a moonshot, but monies intended to try and slay what remains of our mortgage in 19 years time
5. Move the money held into my ISA into DD's ISA. I think I've let go of the idea that we will be able to give her ££,£££ when she comes of age, but I am aware that we will probably have to provide a monthly contribution should she go to university, or need a bit of help establishing herself in a career or business. Giving her whatever has been accumulated so far when she hits 18 will be a good litmus test of whether any monthly contribution will be given freely, or with restrictions (for example, paying her rent directly if she's a spendthrift). This gives me one less thing to think about and her money already goes into a Target Retirement fund, so it should de-risk over time
6. Close down any other surplus current or savings accounts
7. Only update finances or make financial transactions once a day (max)
8. Set up DDs for Mortgage OPs and ISA payments just as soon as my last CC is paid off (this week). Review these once a year.
9. Try and only post here once a week (or less)
10. Check investments and DB pensions once a month (or less)

It feels like there's a lot to this being a grown-up business, thanks for reading my rambling gubbins.

I've managed to do 3 and 4. I also paid £41.80 into my SIPP, topped up to £52.25 with pension tax relief. Have I ever said that I tend to make pension payments when I'm nervous about the future, or my sense of direction?

South_coast

All sounds very sensible, Ed. Have to say, your daily payments have always made me feel a bit dizzy just as an observer from the outside (but then I allocate every penny on receipt of my wage slip, so I never have any money to move!), so streamlining seems like a good plan - as does being more present for your family 😀😀😀

badmemory

I suspect you feel financially responsible for your family even though your wife has earnings, so it isn't all really down to you.  Can you set yourself targets that you really really need to reach for the next year & then ignore the other targets & just enjoy what is to come.  That way you could reduce your concentration on them & come back at a much later date knowing that you haven't messed up but also knowing that you have done what you needed to do for your family.  Sorry hope that makes sense.

Karmacat

Great post, Ed, I'm pleased for you realising that you need to enjoy your life, rather than gamify the financial admin.   Here's to enjoying life and simplifying the admin.

Suffolk_lass

I can relate to a build up of obsession with this stuff. And it driving the family nuts (you may find venting/updating on here helpful in alleviating this)

I hope you don't mind me picking out one or two elements of the plan.

• I completely agree with items 1-3.
• However, item 4, moving your ISA investments into a single retirement fund? - before investing, I really researched my approach and read lots of financial articles, blogs, books and so on and I would suggest you look at a three fund split in your ISA, personally. Having tracked my own (equities and bonds) and my actively managed funds and compared these with the passive funds we have, the passive funds are a good comparator but I felt I should also spread across a global and a 60% equity fund for ten years, and then a 40% equity fund for the next few. The key thing here was to spread the risk rather than all in one pot (think Neil Woodforde scenario)
• In addition I retain an accumulating cash pot to reduce transaction fees and fiddling within the ISA. I simply round down both our current accounts to the next round figure on a transaction by transaction basis (once daily, except I do not look at the weekend) and I keep my budget spreadsheet of what is expected in which month, updated every 3-6 months. I know that March and April's CC statements are a nightmare and so I raid that cash pot every year to pay these. 
• Once a month I check the balances on investments and usually do nothing except record them. I know that I should have fewer equity based investments but it is a retirement hobby to check these and I am content with that risk. I track our one regular saver and the TT movements, together with any PB wins and eBay sales into my "Save £12k in 2022" declarations (not £12k by the way).
• 5 - I would hold your ISA as it is and plan for a big withdrawal for hers and her sibling's 18th birthdays then the spendthrift mitigation is in place and she will appreciate the gift, whereas (I and our Son) saw their savings as a given thing that was already part of what we had
• 6 - not sure why you would shut down savings - you might need to say a bit here. We have the one cash savings account (our EF and top up shortfall pot) and some cash savings in PB and one RS 3.5% £250 a month that will go toward a big thing when it matures. We have two CA - one for running costs (CC and shopping with the phone and newspaper subscriptions so it qualifies for meagre rewards) and one for bigger bills and DD. We each have one additional (largely passive) account in our sole name, in light of publicity about banks' spousal probate demands and the complications of joint accounts should one of us die suddenly.
• 7-10 I also agree will help.

Do please stay accountable on here - I had a break and quickly slipped back into smug mode and stopped being accountable. We used some of our house equity to ameliorate this, and I still regret it.

Your call, as always and we will support you, whatever you decide.

edinburgher

Thanks all for your thoughts and support. I've been having a really productive, finance distraction limited week at work and am just popping in to update @Suffolk_lass , who is my unofficial money mentor

#4 - we haven't really used ISAs for investing, our money has been paid into pensions. As such, when I said "investments", I just meant the 100% global equities type fund that I use. As my ISA is a de facto endowment fund, there's no real risk to using a Target Retirement fund that I can see? If I can't pay off the mortgage at 58, it's unlikely I'll be ready to RE

#5 - I will think on that. not changed anything yet

#6 - I've opened a Ch@se savings account, that will do for EF and other general savings and it's market leading for easy access. Other than that, I'll only use RS if they can beat the 1.5% offered by Ch@se. If we continue to use PB, it will either be £1 each, or max £5,000 each after your recent warning. The accounts being closed all offer less interest, so away they go, !!!!!!!

Only two days 'til our Easter break, Mrs E has been told to go with her maternity bag ready, eek!

powerspowers

Ed, I don’t want to psychoanalysise but had a thought for you to ponder, don’t feel like you need to agree or bare your soul to strangers on the internet 😉
 The plans and shuffles give us a sense of control over things that are out of control at the moment- state of the world, cost of living, your building plans, dd2s arrival and I’m sure other things are out of your control. I suspect you are someone who finds it hard living with uncertainty and the gamification of the future is a way to control the uncontrollable. Are you the same with your exercise regime? 

Not that it’s a bad thing in itself, but if it’s stopping you relaxing and enjoying life right now, it might be worth unpicking with someone otherwise you’ll just fall back into old habits or transfer the need to feel in control feeling onto something else. 

edinburgher

@powerspowers - but it's so much cheaper than actual therapy 

Suffolk_lass

edinburgher said:

@powerspowers - but it's so much cheaper than actual therapy 

and helpful to do so with a degree of anonymity, I have always thought.

I know I struggle with lots of aspects being out of control so having mini-pots of things I think about when it is their turn, rather than the whole thing, helps me.

Some even have their own solutions or mitigations. So the whole thing diminishes in impact because of the baby steps to mitigate the smaller things.

And lists. Especially middle of the night ones if I wake up because something is in my head. I keep paper and pencil to hand (in the bathroom now as it was waking DH...

It kind of discombobulates my brain to write it all down and then revisit it to organise it. Sometimes just having escape plans is enough to send the stressors away to the back of the queue. I think this is behind my liking for a nice spreadsheet.