Learning to walk before I run

Merlin's_Beard

Wills always bring out the worst in every single family. I would ignore every single person that you can about it.

rtandon27

Ed I second MB's advise! Nothing brings out the worst in people than a loved one's passing!

beanielou

edinburgher said:

Oh my word. A family member has started grumping about why they aren't named in the will

Always one 😢

Cheery_Daff

Oh goodness me 😕 How ridiculous.

Anyone that I ever hear grumping about being left out if anyone's will in my family will be immediately left out of mine! 🙄 

Cornish_mum

Happened to me as well Ed, although in my case it was a friend of my aunt who wasn’t happy with her share… she was upset that the bulk of the estate had been left to a charity and not to her! The charity (who will remain nameless) were also absolute PITAs and spent their whole time hounding the executor for their money and wanted evidence that the disposable of all assets was maximising the value of the estate but didn’t actually do anything to help with organising that or dealing with the person who was threatening to contest. Just horrible all round.

Watty1

Totally agree wills bring out the worst.  equally i think some elderly people can use their estate as a weapon.  I see this with the VNM's mother who frequently re-writes her will to punish someone (usually him). I have suggested making a proper plan as she really doesn't want to go into a care home and there are ways we could avoid this for as long as possible but she will not have it and that suggestion prompted another threat to re-write and leave everything to a former lodger.  I despair but remind myself it is nothing to do with me and try to keep quiet. 

It does make me miss my mum though with whom one could have had a sensible conversation about all this rubbish.

LadyWithAPlan

Yes wills are a nightmare - I know my mum had such issues with a solicitor who took so long to sell the shares (even though only 2 main beneficiaries) the shares halved in value - 2008!  so my parents have told me their will but not where to find it yet...

A friend has fallen out with his 4 brothers over the will - as he helped his mum and they had a joint business and the penny pinching / hiring tax advisors to see what was her/ what was his... messy - but then all the kids/cousins suffer as they dont see each other the same way.


Glad your MIL is comfortable - such a relief.

@Watty1 to use it as a weapon ugh - cant imagine she was a great mum ever to even think about pulling such strings..
Didnt know you lost your mum -  so sorry - she sounds lovely 

killerpeaty

Well I, for one, am furious I'm not in the will!

I think I can understand why one might be upset if they were expecting something and did not receive it. Especially if it's something of sentimental value. But if it's just money, like... It's a bit gross! Having said that 10 years ago I dated a 28 year old whose plan to get a house was to wait for his mum to die. Now that's super gross.

Gross is my word of the day apparently.

Suffolk_lass

edinburgher said:

Oh my word. A family member has started grumping about why they aren't named in the will

While my immediate reaction is similar to everyone else, if others are named and bequests made, sometimes it is better to make a deed of variation. How old the will is, whether the family member has parity with others with similar relationships with the deceased, the views of the beneficiary, any number of things can influence it. If everything was left to MiL I would just tell them to get a grip but we on here, don't know the circumstances or the potential for upset, and I am not pressing you to say more, just offering another perspective.

savingholmes

Wills are always emotive - and a lot is about perceived fairness - but even that is always in the eye of the beholder who even where the split is unequal - may not appreciate how much physical or emotional help and support an individual offered.

My Ex's sole plan for paying off the house was inheritance that only changed post divorce.