Learning to walk before I run

Suffolk_lass

What are you two like?
beanielou said:

edinburgher said:

I like both, ice cream one like a float 🤤

Might try it in a float actually 

killerpeaty

Hope dd2 is sleeping better now!

It seems odd that a gazebo can be broken so easily, have you made a complaint to the manufacturer?

edinburgher

Not a million miles after I last realised our finances were not entirely rosy 2 years ago, I started to get the feeling that the credit card was being used to tide us over to the end of the month more than I'd like (at all). This concern was precipitated by the need to replace our fridge freezer, £400 we really did not need to spend. On an unrelated note, I had my worst ever appliance buying experience with AO (customer for nearly a decade and will never be using them again )

I started using YNAB again this week and in the somewhat hardcore world of zero-based budgeting, realised that we had no money Ok, that isn't entirely true, we had money but it had been allocated to savings that were actually money we need for day-to-day expenses.

Cue a week in which I tore down our finances. Regular savers closed and cash transferred to current accounts, what little we had in Premium Bonds withdrawn (bar £1 in each account so we can win the million), my nascent ISA balance of c. £100 withdrawn and the credit card paid off in full (nearly, need to wait for the balance to settle before we can do last little bit).

It has been sobering. We can pay for our expenses and in a normal month would have had £250 or so left over. This doesn't, however, make up for the fact that our mortgage and childcare expenses are expected to go up by c. £600-700 come November. There are some categories that can be slimmed down (grown up spends, holiday etc.) but it is unpleasant to face up to our impending reality. I suppose at least we have done it with a few months to spare.

The mortgage, particularly, is concerning. Rates go up every day and while L&C were supposed to phone us back to discuss remortgaging a couple of weeks ago, they have gone off the map. This is far from the first time they've failed to deliver what they said they would, I appreciate they're busy but I think it's time to find a local broker who will actually work for our money.

Net worth up for the month by £4k or so, although cash in hand dropped by £400 or so. Slogging on with it all...

Merlin's_Beard

I think a lot of us (me included) have had a YNAB-induced wake up call when you start it/go back to it. It's very easy to allocate money to several things at once without realising.

Suffolk_lass

Gosh that sounds like a departure from your normal wheeler dealer-ing "I've got this" posts. It sounds as though you will start to adapt to this and explore other ways to reduce what you are spending without reducing your quality of life, as your lives should not be miserable and scrimping all the time - it does not make for a happy life.

I'm a great believer in pottering along, doing what you do when things work for you, but I have had to come to terms with my weaknesses and try to adapt to them. I think my grocery shopping is the biggest thing. Snobbery. One example. I now buy supermarket wine. Trust me, it's an economy, compared to before. I once ran a restaurant and the wine merchant came in every couple of months, and therein lies my wine snobbery.  I now buy "the best" range. My compromise is that I only buy it when it's on offer and we drink it less frequently. It is more of a treat than a store-cupboard staple. The Morries The Best Vinho verde is very nice, by the way. My toiletries and such cosmetics that I buy now - only on offer, but maybe two (or six in the case of the shower gel) at a time. I have tried dropping a brand. Some I do, some I don't. Coffee and tea are a no-compromise, so I buy on subscription in multiples (15% off) or when on offer, or very occasionally from Costco, if my friend who pays to be a member offers for me to accompany her. Cream crackers? bigger packet, half the price, same with bran flakes. It helps, it really does.

Being revered as a cook - I don't need to invest in it. I pad out and stretch food in an economical and healthy way. I have become accustomed to buying 500g of  minced beef; slow cooking a ragu with enough chopped veg and red lentils in, that when combined with a cheap extra mature cheddar cheese (this one, at £6.03 a kilo), either grated or in a sauce, and mixed through SM pasta, forms an acceptable pasta bake that does ten portions, when topped up with a bit of salad. We do eat the occasional gourmet meal and we love it. I cook the occasional premium meal, but these are the occasions. Slightly more dull cooking some of the time and it somehow matters less, so weight is less a thing than it was, and time is more valuable as we realise we have less in front than behind. 

Do your planning, especially meals, and shop using stores and substitutions where you can. Your future self will thank you for this.

Cornish_mum

Hi Ed, CoL crisis is just awful; sorry to hear about your re-mortgage worries I hope you sort it soon. Take care CM

QueenJess

Gosh, it all sounds very stressful. I’m with you on childcare and mortgage rises as they are so high a proportion of our expenses, rises really hit us. I haven’t been tracking my spend closely, but I’m going to have to go back to tracking everything YNAB style (but on a spreadsheet… I do love spreadsheets!). I hope I’m not in for the same shock when I do it as I’m currently in the denial stage (my mortgage will be reset on Feb next year).

The hope I cling onto is that DD is in nursery for 2 years and then the pressure eases a lot without childcare costs. I know you have a bit longer than me, but I am seeing it as a painful few years to scrape by on and if I can’t save, then that is what will happen. After that, I am really hoping interest rates will fall and childcare drops off a cliff and I can breathe again. This thought is the thing that gives me hope.

In the meantime, I, like you, will start to monitor everything and start the process of cutting back where it is possible for the least painful areas and see where I get to. If I have to make harder decisions then I will. I have already noticed that my local buy nothing group is more active than it has ever been.

Just sending hugs really. I know I’m in a better position than many and am very thankful for that. I also know you have a really good handle on your finances and you are in a great position compared to many to get through this. I know once it all sinks in and the initial shock wears off that you will pick yourself up and find a way through 🤗 and I shall be watching for encouragement and inspiration. Sending *hugs* in the meantime.

BookWorm

Sorry to hear you are feeling so despondent.  While you may feel cash poor...you are at family rich...and that is priceless, and will see you through. Sending hugs x

edinburgher

@Suffolk_lass - as you'll appreciate - there is only so much graft and wheeling and dealing that one person can do! It's easy to retain a positive attitude when one or two costs go up but it is literally everything at the moment (I think I have 2 budget lines of 40+ that have remained static since 2022). We are certainly spendy in one or two areas but we are by no means profligate. Mortgage (even post attic conversion) is below 3x wages, we haven't been able to afford an abroad holiday funded by ourselves for 4-5 years, we drive a car that is less than 10 years old but was the cheapest new family sized car readily available in the UK.

The sad thing? I'm fully aware we're massively well off compared to a lot of people and this makes me feel incredibly guilty.

@QueenJess - I also love a good spreadsheet, have been budgeting on one since 2014. I find sometimes that YNAB is a more powerful solution for calculating irregular spends, as it is supported by a database and it's just a little quicker to do certain things that way. Childcare is definitely our main hope at the moment - from memory DD1's nursery fees once she got state provision fell from c. £500 to £80 a month. It would make a world of difference, 25 months to go and counting Thank you for the hugs and encouragement, I'll try and find my mojo to figure this all out. It's just a little big to look at just now, so many things happening at once.

Thank you all for the lovely comments. I hope to return to the fray after our holiday to the Hebrides at the end of next week.

beanielou

Enjoy your break & refocuss once you are back.
Keep plodding