Reasons for divorce implications

separatedinsamehome

Hello all,

I am separated from my wife and we are living separately. My wife wants to proceed with a divorce quickly so she can move on. There have been no serious issues regarding the end of the marriage, but to try and get it through quickly she has put behaviour as the main reason for the divorce. Before I sign anything I wanted to see if any of you knew if this would have any implications. There has been no abuse, just that our personalities have become so different we just cannot live together. She wants to move forward with the divorce quickly.

tacpot12

If you have a good solicitor, there should be no implications if the reason for the divorce is cited as "unreasonable behaviour".  Have a read of the information in this link and try to agree with your wife what behaviour will be cited in the divorce petition and that she will not seek to use this unreasonable behavour to obtain an unfair advantage over you in the divorce proceedings:  

Unreasonable Behaviour As A Reason For Divorce (netlawman.co.uk)

separatedinsamehome

wow, thanks for sending that, had a good read through. So basically for there to be enough unreasonable behaviour for a divorce, it could have an impact on me if she decides that she wants custody of the children, at the moment we are sharing custody and things are amicable. But I am worried if she decides later she doesnt want things to be amicable (she has shown unreasonable behaviour in the past.i.e travelling to a red list country for a month on 5 days notice leaving me with the children for a month whilst I am working full time over the summer holidays) she could turn around and use the unreasonable behaviour citing against me

Brie

maybe you should agree to "unreasonable behaviour" as the cause of the divorce but ensure that it is her behaviour that is questionable.

separatedinsamehome

yeah I think I will propose that, else I am not going to agree. She has said she would be open to doing that. It just seems to put me at too much risk, especially when nothing has been done or happened. To be honest most of the unreasonable behaviour over the last year has all been from her, but I just want things amicable for the kids sakes

RAS

She wants a divorce? You can simply refuse to unreasonable behaviour on your part but agree if she accepts that her travel arrangements were unreasonable.

And just a quick Q; is she in anyway linked to the red list country or to anyone who lives or has lived there? Any chance she'd move the children there?

separatedinsamehome

yeah, she asked for the separation and she is pushing for the divorce, I personally didnt see the need to rush it, there are so many other things to sort out first. And yes, she is originally from the red list country and has family there, but her visit was for leisure and not for any major reason, i.e bereavement, illness etc. She also left 6 days after we told the kids we were separating which wasnt part of the plan. The plan was to show them stability even though we have separated so they are mentally settled before they start school. I dont think she could move the eldest but to be honest I know she wants to be there and not here so can't rule it out either

separatedinsamehome

was having a closer look at examples, and this is the only one I would agree to being the least damaging:

Lack of socialising together

It’s common that within a marriage each party has interests in separate things, whether that is a hobby, socialising with friends or family or possibly animals for example.

If parties to the marriage are socialising separately on a regular basis it can cause the breakdown of the marriage as one party is likely to feel distant or neglected by the other spouse.

Divorce Petition Example: “The Respondent shows no interest in socialising with the Petitioner and since [Date], has continued to play golf with his friends, leaving the Petitioner to feel [insert emotion/feeling, e.g. lonely, neglected]

RAS

separatedinsamehome said:

She also left 6 days after we told the kids we were separating which wasnt part of the plan. The plan was to show them stability even though we have separated so they are mentally settled before they start school. I dont think she could move the eldest but to be honest I know she wants to be there and not here so can't rule it out either

In which case you need to get scans of their passports and learn how to arrange a Prohibit Steps Order. If their passports go missing at any time, you need the order immediately.

Neruda

RAS said:

separatedinsamehome said:

She also left 6 days after we told the kids we were separating which wasnt part of the plan. The plan was to show them stability even though we have separated so they are mentally settled before they start school. I dont think she could move the eldest but to be honest I know she wants to be there and not here so can't rule it out either

In which case you need to get scans of their passports and learn how to arrange a Prohibit Steps Order. If their passports go missing at any time, you need the order immediately.

Indeed.

Read this website and follow the advice that is applicable to you:
https://www.reunite.org/

Neruda

Brie said:

maybe you should agree to "unreasonable behaviour" as the cause of the divorce but ensure that it is her behaviour that is questionable.

Sadly, that would work only if the OP were the one petitioning for divorce.

Maybe he could 'admit' that he was unhappy about her trip home and allow his objection to it to be classified as 'unreasonable'.