Money Moral Dilemma: Should my brother share the money if he sells the coin collection I gave him?

dibby15

No - Wish him Good Luck and stand back and watch.

KiwiCoop

Read the question.  Of course he "should". 

tain

I get what everyone is saying about this being a 'gift', but I don't think it quite works like that with family. Not in my family, at least.

The OP clearly didn't give his brother cold hard cash to do what he wanted with - he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose. In my family, if the brother no longer wants it, it then goes to a family member who does. 

If it was a birthday or  Christmas gift, whereby the item itself isn't really important, just the sentiment of giving a gift, then fine - sell and keep the profits. But this isn't that - this is sharing something you've worked to procure and curate, which you felt another family member would enjoy. 

Pollycat

tain said:

I get what everyone is saying about this being a 'gift', but I don't think it quite works like that with family. Not in my family, at least.

The OP clearly didn't give his brother cold hard cash to do what he wanted with - he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose. In my family, if the brother no longer wants it, it then goes to a family member who does. 

If it was a birthday or  Christmas gift, whereby the item itself isn't really important, just the sentiment of giving a gift, then fine - sell and keep the profits. But this isn't that - this is sharing something you've worked to procure and curate, which you felt another family member would enjoy. 

The originator of the dilemma didn't say "he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose."
He/she said they lost interest in the collection.

I wonder if this question would have been asked if the originator of the dilemma hadn't "now discovered some of the coins are very valuable."

minislim

I agree with most on here. You gave them away. It doesn’t matter if it was your brother. 

If you are close and have a good relationship then he may share. But that’s ultimately his choice. 

tain

Pollycat said:

tain said:

I get what everyone is saying about this being a 'gift', but I don't think it quite works like that with family. Not in my family, at least.

The OP clearly didn't give his brother cold hard cash to do what he wanted with - he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose. In my family, if the brother no longer wants it, it then goes to a family member who does. 

If it was a birthday or  Christmas gift, whereby the item itself isn't really important, just the sentiment of giving a gift, then fine - sell and keep the profits. But this isn't that - this is sharing something you've worked to procure and curate, which you felt another family member would enjoy. 

The originator of the dilemma didn't say "he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose."
He/she said they lost interest in the collection.

I wonder if this question would have been asked if the originator of the dilemma hadn't "now discovered some of the coins are very valuable."

So is the natural conclusion that he's giving them to his brother to sell for profit, or because his brother might actually have an interest in them? The OP could have easily sold them themselves or held them for profit at a later date. Selling them was at no point in their plans. 

No one starts a coin collection without an awareness of value. Even if it's not your prime purpose for starting the collection, you know that the value of the coins can change. But this does also show that the OP should have been a bit clearer on this when giving the collection to someone else. 

tain

I also think a vast majority of people completely forget the 'moral' aspect of these dilemmas. The legal aspect has little bearing, and in this case there is a significant moral obligation to at least discuss sharing the profits with the OP. 

Unless I'm weird in being brought up to think selling certain gifts is disrespectful? 

Pollycat

tain said:

Pollycat said:

tain said:

I get what everyone is saying about this being a 'gift', but I don't think it quite works like that with family. Not in my family, at least.

The OP clearly didn't give his brother cold hard cash to do what he wanted with - he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose. In my family, if the brother no longer wants it, it then goes to a family member who does. 

If it was a birthday or  Christmas gift, whereby the item itself isn't really important, just the sentiment of giving a gift, then fine - sell and keep the profits. But this isn't that - this is sharing something you've worked to procure and curate, which you felt another family member would enjoy. 

The originator of the dilemma didn't say "he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose."
He/she said they lost interest in the collection.

I wonder if this question would have been asked if the originator of the dilemma hadn't "now discovered some of the coins are very valuable."

So is the natural conclusion that he's giving them to his brother to sell for profit, or because his brother might actually have an interest in them? The OP could have easily sold them themselves or held them for profit at a later date. Selling them was at no point in their plans. 

No one starts a coin collection without an awareness of value. Even if it's not your prime purpose for starting the collection, you know that the value of the coins can change. But this does also show that the OP should have been a bit clearer on this when giving the collection to someone else. 

Nobody really knows why he gave them to his brother - other than the stated fact that he/she 'lost interest'.
We were not party to the discussion between the siblings and unless the originator of the dilemma pops up and clarifies, we're not likely to know why the coin collection was given away.

So...why didn't the originator of the dilemma sell them? Maybe he/she just wanted the collection out of the house. We don't know why and are unlikely to find out why.

Without knowledge of the 'I don't want these, you can have them' conversation I don't think there is a 'moral obligation' at all.
If I gift someone something, it is theirs to keep, sell or scrap.
It is the person who receives the gift who has control of any profit resulting from that gift.
Not the donor.

mudshark

You can demand it but he'd be selfish not to over a share.

tain

Pollycat said:

tain said:

Pollycat said:

tain said:

I get what everyone is saying about this being a 'gift', but I don't think it quite works like that with family. Not in my family, at least.

The OP clearly didn't give his brother cold hard cash to do what he wanted with - he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose. In my family, if the brother no longer wants it, it then goes to a family member who does. 

If it was a birthday or  Christmas gift, whereby the item itself isn't really important, just the sentiment of giving a gift, then fine - sell and keep the profits. But this isn't that - this is sharing something you've worked to procure and curate, which you felt another family member would enjoy. 

The originator of the dilemma didn't say "he gave him a collection of coins with the intention of enjoying it for it's prime purpose."
He/she said they lost interest in the collection.

I wonder if this question would have been asked if the originator of the dilemma hadn't "now discovered some of the coins are very valuable."

So is the natural conclusion that he's giving them to his brother to sell for profit, or because his brother might actually have an interest in them? The OP could have easily sold them themselves or held them for profit at a later date. Selling them was at no point in their plans. 

No one starts a coin collection without an awareness of value. Even if it's not your prime purpose for starting the collection, you know that the value of the coins can change. But this does also show that the OP should have been a bit clearer on this when giving the collection to someone else. 

Nobody really knows why he gave them to his brother - other than the stated fact that he/she 'lost interest'.
We were not party to the discussion between the siblings and unless the originator of the dilemma pops up and clarifies, we're not likely to know why the coin collection was given away.

So...why didn't the originator of the dilemma sell them? Maybe he/she just wanted the collection out of the house. We don't know why and are unlikely to find out why.

Without knowledge of the 'I don't want these, you can have them' conversation I don't think there is a 'moral obligation' at all.
If I gift someone something, it is theirs to keep, sell or scrap.
It is the person who receives the gift who has control of any profit resulting from that gift.
Not the donor.

I get that, if you feel that the sentiment of just giving a gift is the only thing that counts, then they can do what they want. You might as well give a gift card or cold hard cash if that's the case.

I just give cash if there's no sentiment in the gift itself, or I ask what they would like to be bought. If I give something I've worked hard for or put a lot of time into procuring, I'm giving more than a faceless item to be thrown away or sold as the owner pleases. I'd expect my family and friends to value that, hence the moral obligation, hence it being here in the moral money dillemas.