Future Proofing my life: Deposit saving then MFW journey in under 13 years

LadyWithAPlan

Alchemilla said:

LadyWithAPlan said:

skint_spice said:

I am much the same LWAP, I have friends that I have known since I was a teenager and even my newer friends are probably a couple of decades old. I sometimes contemplate moving further north but I would miss them.

Yes  you would and once cant really replace that. Friends are such an important part of life and having people who know you and see what we go thru - the ups and the downs..
I am now supporting a friend going thru a bad divorce and we have really seen each other go thru everything (birth, death, relationship breakdowns...family and money dramas). plus we have danced and celebrated too. We always know we will drop everything and help.

When I lost a friend 2 years ago as she dropped me cos her boyfriend kept hitting on me  which i ignored then he grabbed me in public against my will .... and somehow he twisted it that it was my fault (you have to admire the PHD level of gaslighting given his hands were on me in an v uninvited place ) so she is 'angry' at me   .. I am over it now but thats 25 years of partying, life, laughter, conversations. adventures, great vacations, drama you also lose. Of course she didnt just lose me but a large friendship group as everyone knows me and my morals  - Sad thing is she  herself  is losing her supportive group  becos of him and that can be very dangerous.

This is so sad and so wrong!

Yes and at the time I was angry and horrified .. she didn’t tell me - just stopped responding to my calls and texts .. then I heard from mutual friends she was angry with me !!!!! When I could have really gone to the police about inappropriate uninvited touching
 I used to get a Xmas and bday text still weirdly  but we stopped that this past Xmas 

I knew it was coming though - he found me on fb, kept inviting me over when she was away (she lives elsewhere abroad and stays with him. Is in london  ) suggested a trip away !   .. all of which I had clearly said no or ignored .. I even said could I see her without him  - she managed 30 mins one time whilst he was in the gym and made me travel an hour there and back .. and the previous time she had had a party at his, he had said how much he wanted to grab me and I said please don’t touch me … 
I had even told other  friends I was concerned about how he was with me 

My anger is gone now mostly but it’s sad and disrespectful especially as I don’t appreciate being accused of doing something I didn’t do especially when I really tried to discourage his behaviour 

…. Back to my fabulous London life now …. 
As always most the fun of london fashion week is the people watching - what everyone is wearing to the shows,  super creative and fabulous - some people looking like works of art ..
 
I had a proper dance last night at the party after the presentation & met lots of fun people - a far too young model from the show was flirting with me hard at the after party - we had a fun dance off but forget being old enough to be his mother .. 
the age gap could have wandered into GILFs!! 

(I am not an ageing rockstar nor a man in his midlife crisis so I politely declined, there are age gaps and then there was this .probable 35 years at least ! .  )

I always used to go to all the London fashion week parties and Paris too - it was fun and a good way to relax - 
I am a bit slow this morning but that’s ok - I need to rest and have fun - have delayed my gym til this afternoon 

Alchemilla

@LadyWithAPlan that sounds uber glamorous!

KajiKita

Alchemilla said:

@LadyWithAPlan that sounds uber glamorous!

Yup, completely different world to mine! 😊

KK

LadyWithAPlan

@Alchemilla and @KajiKita I am very spoiled I know
A part of my life joy is getting to go to some fabulous things and events across the world .. partly career based and partly cos who doesn’t love fabulous fashion, free food and a free open bar … plus the second dj was great ! 

South_coast

I took my Mum shopping in the rain....🤷‍♀️ Definitely lacking glamour in my life!

LadyWithAPlan

South_coast said:

I took my Mum shopping in the rain....🤷‍♀️ Definitely lacking glamour in my life!

I spoke to my mum today, hadnt caught up all week with my busy-ness .. I will aim to visit her in a few weeks once current short contract done..

Glamour for me can be many things, personally i dont spend hours getting ready, groomed and putting outfits together .. when I was younger though...

No rain in London, warm but a v strong wind that grabbed my hat which I managed to catch in time before it flew off


I  was a bit hungover this morning so did some stretching as my back needed it, chanting and cooking then headed to gym and long walk and refused to allow myself into the Morries on the way back - my grocery bill is super high this month already and need to cut down junk - planning  to eat down the freezer again as its full.

 Plus I am busting my grocery budget  £177.04 spent already plus £40.63 on crisps, sweets etc ... crazy but true and I am feeling it a bit on my waistline.. plus £7 bulk.(oil)

Had meant to fry up some chicken but it didnt look great (had been frozen) so made a pressure cooker chana dal bean, greens with some frozen coconut milk and  pancetta ... after gym I made a tuna bean salad thing - I need to get back to cleaner eating - I just grab quick stuff when I am this busy .. I am trying to shop from my own larder and freezer this last week.

I then settled down to do 4 hours work on the software as had time to think - plus I worked out on my walk home from gym some calcs I needed to pull thru.

MG - only 8 things today - will grab 5 more at least before I sleep.

ladysummerisle

Sounds like a pretty productive Sunday to me. Can we blame hormones on crisps and sweets? I know I am.. 

Thanks for your recipe - now I just need a quiet moment to try it. It is hard when you’re busy but you’re at least cooking fresh food. Today is a new day!

savingholmes

You are still doing better than me on grocery spend if it is any consolation. 

Glad you've been having fun. Life is too short otherwise.

Suffolk_lass

ladysummerisle said:

Sounds like a pretty productive Sunday to me. Can we blame hormones on crisps and sweets? I know I am.. 

Thanks for your recipe - now I just need a quiet moment to try it. It is hard when you’re busy but you’re at least cooking fresh food. Today is a new day!

Aha! I have been wondering this too

LadyWithAPlan

ladysummerisle said:

Sounds like a pretty productive Sunday to me. Can we blame hormones on crisps and sweets? I know I am.. 

Thanks for your recipe - now I just need a quiet moment to try it. It is hard when you’re busy but you’re at least cooking fresh food. Today is a new day!

My protein cake freezes well too. Best served warm with yogurt (you can toast it too if you bake flat instead of in muffin tin) but also travels well (the blueberries keep it moist) and yes every day is a new day.

I remember a trainer online saying that people eat one thing not on their nutrition plan then decide they have broken their diet so then eat high carb high fat all day and decide to start again tomorrow...
They said it was analogous to having one tyre being damaged or a nail cutting into it - we dont then go around  stabbing the other 3 tyres to ensure the car is super damaged. 

 I think the junk is about being super busy and sorting this software system out at all times day/night. So easy to grab quick sugary snacks.

@Suffolk_lass
 The testosterone I am watching to see if that affects my nutrition/weight  - but the last 2 days I have had more sleep and thus eaten much better .. I have started weighing myself daily (which I never normally do) just to see if the TST makes me gain weight.. as this is a 3m trial before next blood tests
My trainer gave me some horror stories she had seen  of female body builders taking it - having to shave, certain parts of the anatomy get bigger !! . I did explain that I am only taking dosage to get my currently v low  TST to normal levels not in excess.
I also had to explain to her re how when in the foetus the cells split either into a male organ or curve inside to make the female one - she was unaware they come from the same cells - which is why they both swell and have the sensitive nerve endings..  I was unaware tst could change that but I think on the tiny amounts I am taking i will be fine.. I have to make a small sachet last 8 days so thats fun trying to guage and have some left for day 8

I am happier in myself despite a full on existence right now and to do list thats a bit shocking



@savingholmes I used to have a monthly food budget of £140-150 but COL really shows - price of essentials - coffee, oil, fr chicken. At least our UK eggs are not US current prices - they have bird flu so its  3 x at least of our egg prices.


On reading other diaries I am reminded it is the small amounts of money often added to OP that help - obviously large £££ help too but the focus on saving an extra few pounds a day means that overspend does not happen in other areas. It helps keep the focus on the big picture - the OP of a huge mortgage or me building my deposit, one needs a constant eye on that to hope to make a dent.
I am re-reading @s@shangaijimmy and his attention to the daily TT as with Tilly herself really seems to help that push and daily focus

There is a wild hopeful part of me that does not want to play the mortgage game, that does not want a bank deciding my fate and making me jumping through hoops as a self employed person to buy a home .. That part of me knows thus I need to save far more, the more money I have the less I need them.
I am already looking at having a 25% deposit down anyway on my £125k (currently slightly less as I wait to be paid). With what is owed to me I will have i think   £150k so thats 25% on a £500k flat if I have to push it that far - was hoping for under £450k as thats my h2b isa limit as well - so over £450k flat will lose me £3k of govt money)
Or 

So in this vein I am eyeing up my prolific £10.06 and £1.50 pending - as soon as it arrives the £1.50 I am shuffling it all into my SIPP/TT cash isa   - got to keep my eye on the small spends as I earn to make the big £££.
Also needing to chase up invoices from various places, inc big outstanding as was promised some last week which has not materialised again..

FOOD 
Defrosted some bacon and made an onion bacon omelette with guac on side and the other half the tinned black eyed beans I refried with tomatoes and a pepper. 
The freezer is looking  clearer and I have pulled out a YS chicken thigh thing I had bought - they have a garlic crust and are stuffed - only bought as was YS so thats dinner
 I have finished one work thing today, and on warpath on this system then I have a meeting - where I need to challenge someone about their behaviour - have got someone else to come along and then side hustle Tuesday ...
Luckily the sun is finally shining through my window

I was meant to do my EMS but will cancel to get some clearer brain time on some work - will go instead tomorrow.