Future Proofing my life: Deposit saving then MFW journey in under 13 years

South_coast

What are the chances of you taking over the "expert"'s job on short-term basis (assuming she is bring booted out of the door)? It sounds you like are more than capable, even if you would find it a bit dull, and being an employee for a period could be just what you need (plus they'd struggle to not pay you then).

It strikes me that a lack of enforced structure is part of the drift - if you HAD to be in a certain place at a certain time for a certain length of time, you may find that you're suddenly a lot more productive. I get that chanting is useful to you and helped you get psyched up for the meeting, but that was an hour of work time that you lost! No employer would pay you for that, and I assume you're not invoicing for it either? Similarly, spending a lot of time on Reddit and contemplating creating yet more software is all time that you could be spending earning (yes, I know you said you'd do the latter in your own time, but do you really have any to spare?) You have said consistently for the last 3 years that you need to earn more money, it's time to do it! But I do think you need to focus on doing more of a narrower scope of things (even if it's boring), as you're just trying to do too much. OR, go full-on with the side hustle, as it sounds like you're good at it 🤷‍♀️? 

savingholmes

Hi LWAP

We all know you could earn more - but then you say similar to many of us. We get what we settle for/our musts. If you are happy to settle then enjoy that - but if you want more - it requires drive, saying no as much or more than yes etc. Only you know what's right for you. I'm coasting at the moment - but knowingly as I already feel over-committed - and financially I have the cushion to allow that.

My concern is not your situation now - but if for example the illness you experienced this week persisted - how long could you sustain your lifestyle? Also how much money do you need in retirement and are you anywhere close. I know you kind of answered that in your FIRE figures above - but they are the crux of the matter I think...

LadyWithAPlan

KajiKita said:

Wowsers …. That’s a lot to read and take in …. I don’t think I quite followed all of it, but two things stood out to me.

You seem to be distracting yourself from your key goals. It would be good to know why that is. It comes across as fear / lack of confidence that you can DO the thing. After reading all of the above, I think this unlikely so there is something else going on …. Might even be worth exploring life coaching / counselling to unpick this? 

Secondly, you kick-!!!!!!-rock!  🤩❤️👏🎉🥳 I loved the description of how you dealt with and understood the incompetent expert and how you balanced supporting that MD with allowing him to see how out of her depth she was …. Bravo. I now understand why you sustain that risk, but also think that MD is flipping lucky to have you around. Don’t forget that 😉

I really admire how analytical you are about your goals, how to achieve them and possible blockers. I wish I could do this - I just never seem to have the thinking time.

Go you and keep powering on ❤️ 😊

KK

Tx KK -  I have lived a life of big dreams, always love pushing what's possible and love the challenge of not knowing if those ideas /dreams will work out  as I strive (they usually do)  but I am definitely at a crossroads /pressing the brakes on/off on  this goal - my house goal - due to  having to commit so much money/time  to it   - I want it but I can see the sacrifices I may need to make in my very fabulous fun life without much current responsibility  and indeed to refer to @south_coast point also my career choice sacrifice.

The upside  of  any life review and facing ones own reality  especially with  this hard check my 3 yr goal check in and seeing where I am and also where I am not 'winning' as viewed from my previously set goals     is that I am seeing clarity that it is my inner boho wild child vs my Athena (Goddess of wisdom) inner voice saying what decisions I need to make now that will be good for 10  years time.. those internal voices are fighting and I need to find the peace within that to fully fly forward.
I am midst journalling and chanting about this and get some clarity  so tx for the wisdom KK 


@South_coast  I got up early to chant so that definitely wasn't part of my billable work hours   i would never overcharge someone for work/time.


Definition of karma is 'if you want to see your past karma, look at your life now. If you want to see your future karma, look at your actions now' - it applies to everything saving, fitness, relationships - its quite annoyingly true.
So whilst I would never cheat or overcharge someone for work done, equally my saying yes to people  with favours/hanging out etc without thinking of my work schedules and priorities  etc ..is me not moving my own life forward - I am choosing right now vs ten years - we all need a mix of both I think and at least YNAB has me very clear on my money choices

LadyWithAPlan

savingholmes said:

Hi LWAP

We all know you could earn more - but then you say similar to many of us. We get what we settle for/our musts. If you are happy to settle then enjoy that - but if you want more - it requires drive, saying no as much or more than yes etc. Only you know what's right for you. I'm coasting at the moment - but knowingly as I already feel over-committed - and financially I have the cushion to allow that.

My concern is not your situation now - but if for example the illness you experienced this week persisted - how long could you sustain your lifestyle? Also how much money do you need in retirement and are you anywhere close. I know you kind of answered that in your FIRE figures above - but they are the crux of the matter I think...

Tx  @savingholmes - as you point out I am coasting  by choice (a luxury many don't have, I am aware) so therefore I am not currently sacrificing .. I could in theory move to Thailand etc and live happily for decades without working or doing a bit of online work.
On your recommendation I checked my FIRE  and a reasonable FIRE  without me buying a home and never working again (unlikely) is already well over 50% on a decent annual income plus when I hit 60 i am at 98%  as have a DB and 67 on state age  I am 167% ) .! However this does not include enough to live in London and cover that rent - so more work to be done there on savings

 However there are a few absolutes I have chosen that thus do dictate my current actions and path

Absolute choices
- I choose to live and want to buy in London (as opposed to living/buying cheaper almost anywhere else)
- I am choosing to buy a home in London - its a choice, time line is within 2 years given current place.
- i want when I buy  a private garden - even if just a tiny one - shared does not sound like my idea of home, again a choice
- i want 2 bedroom just in case and for my office
- I really want freehold or worse case  leasehold in a small (say 2 flats in a conversion - i dont want huge service charges)
- i want a nice light filled  home - essential I have one room light filled at least
- i want to live within 15 min walk of near a tube

Wants not essential
-ideally period features (this is not essential) 
- North not south london as nearer aging family
- I am also viewing this (rightly or wrongly) as a home for life -  I tend to settle in where I can - this may be a hugely false assumption, however a good enough for the next 10 years is a must. I saw a place I could buy but it was too dark (£375k, with garden, freehold, 2 bed  but a small basement flat so no light) so I would want to move out in a year or two.. I hate dark homes.

If all things above are what I choose, then yes I am looking to move further out in London areas I have never been so I can happily sacrifice the central London living as it makes the garden /space more doable.
However the other consequences of my choices are minimum  a £450-£500k home - its a big mortgage - £325k plus on my own.
I can only really get a 18-24 or so years mortgage (again a consequence of leaving it late) so a big mortgagetp pay off in a shorter space
I will look to see if I can get part Interest only

I also have been saying yes to helping family and friends - the animals took two weeks of my summer.. I managed to work and look after them and had maybe one hour a day to chill..  so no time to dream/plan do extra.

So I have started the following: For next 4 months

Saying no if it does not align with current priorities
Focus on maximising my time and my income
Focus on maximising my savings
If I want a £325-£350k mortgage as above  I need more income - its a uncomfortable truth I am facing head on I could choose to not buy in London but I want to therefore ERGO I need more income.
Getting that income up - CV, side hustles etc - having a comfortable income is not helping me buy a home

Watty1

LadyWithAPlan said:

So whilst I would never cheat or overcharge someone for work done, equally my saying yes to people  with favours/hanging out etc without thinking of my work schedules and priorities  etc ..is me not moving my own life forward - I am choosing right now vs ten years - we all need a mix of both I think and at least YNAB has me very clear on my money choices

I love this.  We will all end up "somewhere" in 10 years time and so we need to make sure that somewhere is where we want to be.   I was told that a few years ago and it really made me think.  It was one of the drivers in leaving the ex.  I did not want to be "there" for another 10 years.

Thinking about where we want to be in 10 years is both sobering and motivating.

Cheery_Daff

It is indeed. Oddly enough I found an old notebook the other day from 10 years ago. We were on holiday, and I was plotting and scheming as usual and pondering life choices. Funny to see the stuff I was feeling stressed about then is the same as now - housework, taking on too much stuff, whether I was doing the right things with my life... 😂

I did find a list of what I wanted in a new house though. This was nearly 4 years before we actually moved, but we'd started thinking and decorating. Interestingly, we ended up with pretty much everything on my list! Detached, no near neighbours, large garden, room for chickens, washing line, big dining room/kitchen table, big music room, separate space for me to work...

Only things we didn't end up with were 'near the sea?' (we decided to stick with our jobs rather than a massive upheaval) and 'under £150,000' 😂😂😂😂 Don't know what planet I was on at that point - I suppose I figured if I wrote it down it might actually come true, you never know! 😂😂

10 years later and the mortgage is nearly down to £150k though 😂😂

LadyWithAPlan

@Watty1 Yes our ten years hence thought is powerful and glad it made you move your life forward.. Now to move mine!

I would point out at this junction that the chap I was dating...  - it feels that chapter has lost its way...  it wasn't moving forward (this on both our parts) so noone's fault just we in different stages and focus in life and I def dont want to be in this position in a year let alone a decade with him. We may have more chats on this  as he away for a bit now and I do feel a responsibility to be as clear, straight and as kind as possible in a face to face situation, especially after my text ex dumping of last summer...however I would be surprised to hear from him again. 

Cheery_Daff said:

It is indeed. Oddly enough I found an old notebook the other day from 10 years ago. We were on holiday, and I was plotting and scheming as usual and pondering life choices. Funny to see the stuff I was feeling stressed about then is the same as now - housework, taking on too much stuff, whether I was doing the right things with my life... 😂

I did find a list of what I wanted in a new house though. This was nearly 4 years before we actually moved, but we'd started thinking and decorating. Interestingly, we ended up with pretty much everything on my list! Detached, no near neighbours, large garden, room for chickens, washing line, big dining room/kitchen table, big music room, separate space for me to work...

Only things we didn't end up with were 'near the sea?' (we decided to stick with our jobs rather than a massive upheaval) and 'under £150,000' 😂😂😂😂 Don't know what planet I was on at that point - I suppose I figured if I wrote it down it might actually come true, you never know! 😂😂

10 years later and the mortgage is nearly down to £150k though 😂😂

Woohoo to nearly hitting  £150K mark - you should have a celebration ... and thx for the list back up..
Your lost/home sounds great : detached no neighbours, large garden ... only place in London I can think of like that is Buckingham Palace   Should I be genuflecting?

I have never stressed about housework though  or indeed where to put the chickens... 
My robot vacuum/mop Balthazar  is super helpful

Vinted  2nd ever sale  £40 woohoo!
Second ever sale on there so need to post that tomorrow - was a gifted cardigan I never worn with tags
I did move the previous £5 Vinted sale  into my house savings acct so plan to ringfence Vinted sales into the mortgage pig (i have a physical glittery mortgage pig one with wings and I have renamed my YNAB house savings category that
It has inspired me to spend 3 mins a day putting up a new thing each day as apparently Vinted algorithm likes daily uploads rather than mass uploading.

Sale of a phone I won - yes! I finally have a confirmed buyer  so I will post tomorrow  ... so be nice to have even more  extra cash in - again will add to my virtual mortgage pig. I do have a few other wins I have not used  or that family wont use  (I always go for prizes I think will be useful or fun) so I am continuing the shift of stuff out my home...

Comp Wins
I have won  2 lots of tickets for 2 London based events   - winning tix is always a good frugal way to do unusual things in London  

NSD/minimalism
Lots of these  in Aug as I was outside London and nowhere to spend it and not a big online shopper... the Swedish death cleaning etc has also halted my new purchases and I am really thinking about all I own. 

I was gifted some birthday money for a thing I really wanted/want for a few years  but it had to be returned as postage damaged ... bought at auction.. however I need to add more cash to get the same new. I am looking at ebay or I may just wait on this, money is in my ynab 'birthday money ' category.. It could always be used for my home buying instead...

I did see a friend today and managed to not buy more dresses (she bought one and a jacket).. however I did buy a v nice CS  decorated plant pot £3.50 in my fav colours - 

Coffee prices going up ..
I bought myself a black coffee in a London park cafe today £4.45! literally black coffee, ice and water . i was seeing a friend but ouch!!! I didnt buy any food and this is why I really have stopped eating out unless special occasions.

Grocery  £15.38 today so     £160.52 /£200 - 0 /£20 of bulk + 
My grocery spend has been lower this month as been away and living at others so not cooked in the same way. However finally back in London and started stocking up. I do have loads in my freezer so planning to eat through that plus now have loads green veg

Nutrition - as part of me not moving my goals forward inc losing that pesky 6-8 lbs that crept up upon peri menopause etc...
I re read the '4 hour body' book on the train home so I am trying his slow carb approach, so daily pulses/beans  as opposed to rice/bread/potatoes alongside eating lots of veg and protein. So it is a healthy take, no calorie counting and no thinking required which I like. It also frees up time in the kitchen - a place I can happily procrastinate especially in the winter  - as on this you basically eat a protein, beans and veg esp spinach etc  

Started Sat so I will give it a 6 week trial to see and report back.  Protein within 30 mins of waking etc -Its a 6 days a week then a cheat day...
 I am certainly not hungry  on it (5 days in)  - I am not someone who calorie counts or diets and am active so I am testing this... It does mean I cant eat crisps and harib*  6 days a week so it will probably shift some fat anyway!

I am now back on my 2 days a week EMS and aiming at 2-3 sessions swimming each week - swam Monday which was lovely  
My annual gym membership runs out in a month (YNAB keeps pointing out I have not saved for this) but  I have hardly been  given the travelling and the EMS is elsewhere... so will think when I have tried my slow carb approach for a month.

I cooked a dal yesterday (have also bought some el paso refried beans as well as the whole buying dry beans) and so thats 2nd lunch with some chicken, spinach and veg


Face LED mask spreading joy
I had  shown my friend (70 yrs young) my  LED face mask and even ordered her one for ease .. She has been excitedly texting me that her friends have  seen her without knowing and they been bowled over by how she looks and the changes - they all asking what on earth she has been doing to her face as she looks amazing (I have not seen her in the flesh since) - she has had it for 2 plus months. She has a lot of sun damage, she has been going to a cosmetologist for years to work on but the few times a week home LED mask has changed her life/face etc ..
I didnt take mine away and so now I am back using it, it really takes down my puffy eyes in the morning

Cheery_Daff

Lots of good planning there! Ha, or house is definitely nowhere near London with that list 😂😂😂 I am certainly not within 15 minds walk of a tube station.  Not within 15 mins walk of anything other than fields etc - it takes 45 mins to walk to a single shop! 😂

£4.45 for a black coffee is shocking.  We got a few one in n3ro the other day and i was shocked that it would have been £4.25 - large latte and they'd cheekily put their pah roast in without asking (i didn't quibble as I want paying anyway 😂) but no fancy syrups or anything. Shocking! 

TallGirl

Well done on the Vinted sale hopefully this will get you a few more. Also £4.45 for a black coffee is ridiculous I thought it was the price of milk that had made it all go up. Good luck with the "diet" sounds like you are already doing a lot of that and it works for you. I am with you on the perimenopause weight gain I am part of that club too. 

Shame about MWAP but better ending that as you said with text man or Uber man onwards and upwards. 

LadyWithAPlan

@Cheery_Daff yes I was shocked .. too hot to have a normal black coffee - I normally have a DF milk one but then they charge you extra 50p extra for that plant milk . But this slow carb nutrition plan rules out all white things 6 days a week (apart from cauliflower) so that includes milk and DF 

But black coffee water and Ice … £4.45 … it is overlooking a lake in a park but .. the water was £2.15 for a small 330ml still or sparkling ..

TallGirl said:

Well done on the Vinted sale hopefully this will get you a few more. Also £4.45 for a black coffee is ridiculous I thought it was the price of milk that had made it all go up. Good luck with the "diet" sounds like you are already doing a lot of that and it works for you. I am with you on the perimenopause weight gain I am part of that club too

Shame about MWAP but better ending that as you said with text man or Uber man onwards and upwards. 

Ah I forgot about Uber man - probably a good job I didn’t have a journal here in my late 20s as the amounts of first or second only dates I went on then would have had me having to provide a character list for reference 

I haven’t been looking around at other possibilities but guess in a month or so I will - when I can be bothered - just want to be respectful of him - luckily we had chosen not to share each others socials etc so 

I do get rent and electricity has gone up .. but if it had been say  £3 I would have got a second one .. as it was I nursed that £4.45 black coffee for ages 

will report back on the slow carb results .. I have swam once and done EMS once this week - will aim to add more swimming in plus I love to swim