Dilemma - WWYD?

Jude57

I had a very close friend, A, for decades. She's a very vivacious person and loves to be centre of attention, always with an entertaining anecdote. We shared many confidences and I would have trusted her with my life. I attended a work event, met a lovely person B, there with whom I became friendly in a 'lunch every couple of months, text or email occasionally' kind of way.

 It emerged over time that B and I both knew C, who worked with A. Small World eh? Then came the day that B told me of the chatty lunch they'd had with C and the hot topic had been A's gossiping with C about someone who..... followed by a list of things I'd told A over the decades, some extremely sensitive and private. Or so I'd thought. My name hadn't been mentioned so neither B nor C knew I was the subject of A's gossip but my trust was of course completely shattered. I've never spoken to A since.

I agree with the previous poster: When someone shows you their true self, believe them. OP, cut this person out of your life or at least keep them at arms length. They are not to be trusted.

pollypenny

I'm jus t surprised that the boyfriend keeps a diary. 

maman

pollypenny said:

I'm jus t surprised that the boyfriend keeps a diary. 

I thought that but I think there may be a trend at the moment for 'journaling' where you write down your thoughts to get them out of your head. Fair enough, if it helped him cope as the timing would likely have been during a lockdown.

On OP's post, I'm appalled at the 'friend' s' behaviour. To think that the daughter had trusted her with the keys of her flat and she used the opportunity to snoop and then gossip about it. I think this sort of invasion of privacy is unthinkable.

 My DH and I wouldn't dream of reading each others mail, emails or phone messages. My handbag is sacrosanct. If DH wants something from it, like some keys, he'd bring it to me rather than rifling through. 

seven-day-weekend

The friend should button it. It is no business of hers. Or, in my opinion, the daughter's, unless her partner has chosen to tell her.

Maskface

What would I do? Dump the friend. She's an interfering busybody.

bargainbetty

I had a friend stay over at my home with her family. I had left a bank statement folded up on a shelf in the room. A few days after she had gone, I received a request from them asking for help to start a business with a 'small loan'. It was pretty much the amount I had in the account listed on the statement, less a few quid. 

When I realised they had read through my paperwork, I decided that they would never stay in my home again, and they never have. Trust is a fragile thing. Your friend doesn't seem to understand how appalling her behaviour is, and frankly your initial reaction was entirely correct. 

Primrose

Snoopers who invade other peoples' privacy are not to be trusted and it serves them right if they find themselves excluded from peoples' lives as a consequence.

many years ago I worked with a girl whose new mother-in-law was an ardent anti birth control Catholic.    M-I-L had a key to their house and occasionally dropped shopping  off for them while couple were out working.  Colleague one day discovered their bedding had been disturbed  and  MiL had obviously discovered her contraceptive pills under her pillow.  MIL was furious and actually tackled daughter-in law about it.    She immediately  took key back from MiL who was never allowed unaccompanied in her house again.     Intrude on other peoples' privacy at your peril!