Ex neighbour asking for money 'refund'

Jeepers_Creepers

What possible good reason could there be for you to send her £100? 

1) She's skint. But clearly she isn't, or at least has some serious assets. If she really is skint, then £100 ain't going to help her anyway, and she just needs to downsize. Or,

2) It would be a hugely kind gesture that might comfort her and make her feel a lot better in her, very possibly, confused state of mind. I very much doubt it would help, tho', 'cos nothing is going to actually comfort the patently unreasonable mindset that led to this request. At best, she might give it a grudging thought, "Well, I finally got back from that neighb what is mine...", or at worst her family members will be rubbing their hands and wondering what else amongst their mum's papers they can try and exploit.

If she really was destitute, then £100 would have been really kind. But she ain't. And, as S62 points out, were they actually that skint way back at fencegate time? I mean, they seemingly went on to spend a goodly £170k extra to buy their new home! But didn't have half the cost of a fence just before this..?

By all means send a sympathy card, expressing (if it was remotely the case) how lovely it was to have them as neighbs, and the fond memories you have of her hubby. I would not mention the money request, and I would not reply to any subsequent contact regarding this should one arrive.

Chances are, she ain't all that 'confused', but was always like this - 'entitled'. It could well have been her hubby who persuaded her to agree to even the £100.

And, if she is 'confused', all your £100 will get from her is a "Bludy well think so too..."

Man, I love being cynical :-)

TELLIT01

If she is truly 'cash poor' she can raise capital against the value of the property.  I do strongly suspect that there is family in the background who do not want that to happen and are desperately trying to "protect their inheritance" whilst actually not giving a damn about the lady. 

Brie

Send a letter/card of condolence and say you've donated the £100 to your favourite charity (aka you)

Jeepers_Creepers

Possibly, TELLIT, but as S62 pointed out, they were seemingly 'equally' hard up when the fence was installed, and then went on to find £170k in their pocket

Anyhoo, it's a completely unreasonable request, with no credible explanation. EotW would do best to ignore it, and with a completely clear conscience.

Section62

Jeepers_Creepers said:

Possibly, TELLIT, but as S62 pointed out, they were seemingly 'equally' hard up when the fence was installed, and then went on to find £170k in their pocket

For clarity, I wouldn't necessarily say that the neighbours had the extra money in 2013 - the winning the lottery or family 'loans' were suggestions.

Although the OP knows how much was paid for the new property. presumably they don't know who paid for it.

So (and this is total speculation) it isn't impossible that the new property was purchased by a family member with some arrangement of gifting (or similar), perhaps even in the belief that the elderly couple's assets could be made to vanish for the purposes of tax and care home fees.  Who knows, other than the family.

It could then be the case that the couple's wealth has been 'managed' down to the point where the lady is indeed desperate for cash and doesn't have a property to sell.

Not that this would be the OP's problem, nor would £100 make any real difference.

If something similar happened to me and there was further correspondence on the matter, I might be inclined to print out some relevant information from the internet about coercive control of the elderly... then use the other side of this 'scrap' paper on which to write my reply.  Oops, my recycling habit led me to make an embarrassing error there.

Rosa_Damascena

This vignette has all the hallmarks of a lack of capacity, so let sleeping dogs lie OP and don't engage because it will only go downhill from there.

Pay the kindness forward in some way if you wish, but don't take this letter seriously.

lisyloo

I would not engage. 

greyteam1959

lisyloo said:

I would not engage. 

Totally agree.

endoftheworld99

Thankyou to everyone who has taken the time to comment, it’s much appreciated. I think we’re going to ignore the letter. Should have explained that we knew that they funded the purchase of their new home by sale of their old one ie next door to us, plus funds from sale of a property she owned on Cyprus, which she told me she bought when they were stationed out there.

Rdwill

Like most millionaires, they claim they haven't got a pot to pi$$ in.