Annoying But Not Nightmare Neighbours

NinjaTune

Recently moved from a detached house in a quiet road (older couples with or without adult children).

Now living in a 1st floor maisonette but luckily only have one attached (quiet) neighbour.  Nobody living above or below me so it's a semi-detached to all intents and purposes.  Quite a few houses with children in this street and some social housing.

People across the road have very noisy young (8-11 years old at a guess) children.  They seem incapable of talking to each other it's just constant screeching/screaming while they are playing, often until 10.30pm at the weekends.  They get on my wick, I'm not going to lie.  The sound of children playing is one thing but this lot sound like a herd of wounded buffalo.

People in the maisonette block next to me also talk very loudly when they are in their garden.  Lots of effing and jeffing too.  They are perfectly pleasant people just loud and sweary!  They have a friend who seems to have a very dramatic love life and is often round crying hysterically about what her *&%$ of a boyfriend has done this time.  If my windows are open it's like being in the audience at a Jeremy Kyle show 

It's annoying but I see it as part and parcel of moving to an area with a very different demographic.

Indigo_and_Violet

jonners666 said:

But imo these are more normal family noises than late parties or loud music. 

Those noises might be more normal for your family, but they're not normal for every family. Not many of my friends with toddlers have late parties any more, but lots who are child free or have adult children wouldn't consider a party a month excessive. And as for what's normal with dog ownership - that's a proper can of worms. 

What you describe seems like normal, everyday noise to me. Generally I think garden noise after midnight is a bit anti-social but with lockdown rules people can't move indoors anymore. If there are specific instances where the noise is excessive and bothering you (so maybe the daytime loud music if you have a work meeting, or the garden noise if it's keeping your child up) then pop round and ask them to keep it down, but from what you describe if you're going over more than every 6-8 weeks you're probably being unreasonable. Agree with the suggestion that your wife might be a useful barometer - if she thinks it's worth going over then it probably is. Just remember this cuts both ways - if they end a party early for you, you might have to end garden toddler splash time for them if they request it. 

Hope you enjoy your new home. 

jonners666

Indigo_and_Violet said:

Hope you enjoy your new home. 

Thank-you - we do love the house

Skiddaw1

I think you'll get used to it @jonners666 . I do understand however- we spent many years in an urban environment living in houses with party walls and whilst when we were younger we didn't give a hoot about (perfectly acceptable) levels of neighbourhood/local community noise it eventually reached a point where it started to get to both of us  We're now in a rural location in a detached house and I must admit I'm amazed at what a difference it has made to our quality of life. Having said that, we were really happy in previous home/location and I have no regrets about staying there for as long as we did. Here's to many good years in your new home- focus on all those lovely positives.

PS: You might find you become good friends with your neighbours. A few chats over the garden fence and a plate of home-made biscuits and you'll be invited to any future parties without a doubt...

rach_k

I think you'll find your views on what constitutes normal family noise will change as your family changes. 

When we had a baby and a toddler, I would've said crying, screaming, the occasional tantrum (from kids and parents!), stomping up and down stairs, riding noisy toys down the hallways, squealing in the garden etc were completely normal family noise.  

Now my kids are a bit older, I find the sound of next door's toddler doing those things very annoying.  "Surely our kids were never this loud?" kind of conversations happen regularly!

The other side to us has older teenagers/young adults - they've been through several stages: booming sounds of war coming through the walls from video games, music up as loud as possible the second their parents go out, constant yelling instead of talking.  "Wow, don't they teach kids to be respectful nowadays?  Our kids will never behave like this!... but now my kids are pre-teens, I'm starting to wonder if they'd like some nice speakers in their bedrooms and I actively encourage them to bring friends to hang out in the garden... 

hippocrates1

Not sure why you’re upset about your neighbours having two parties. Seems reasonable to me. Plating music in the day is also very acceptable. You’ll get used to it.

sol2017

Unfortunately sound insulation is pretty much nonexistent in many (most?) houses so you will hear more neighbour noises than you'd probably like. Surely you can't expect people to stop talking in their own home, even if it's after midnight. And if you can hear talking then that gives you an idea of how bad sound insulation is in your house.

I suggest to focus on other things. That way you will get used to and won't notice most noises. My neighbours have dogs and while I do notice them I find it quite surprising how I pretty much ignore them. I also used to notice traffic much more when I just moved into my house. Now it almost doesn't bother me. 

IMO, loud music is the only abnormal noise on your list. But if it's only short time then you could try to ignore it or put headphones on to hide it. Or you could mention politely to your neighbours that you work from home. Although the music might be masking other noises - if you can hear your neighbours talking then you could also probably hear them during their most intimate moments 😉 (sorry for putting that image in your head 😆 ). Trust me, short bursts of music are better! 😆

jonners666

sol2017 said:

 Although the music might be masking other noises - if you can hear your neighbours talking then you could also probably hear them during their most intimate moments 😉 (sorry for putting that image in your head 😆 ). Trust me, short bursts of music are better! 😆

Now that is a very good point - and could explain the time period it occurs for! 

jonners666

hippocrates1 said:

Not sure why you’re upset about your neighbours having two parties. Seems reasonable to me. 

Yes - thanks - this is what I was trying to canvas opinion on (basically, do I have an unreasonable expectation - and the answer seems to be yes!) 

[Deleted User]

What is tolerable for one person could be a complete nightmare for someone else. I am sensitive to noise and have dealt with my fair share of difficulties with neighbours in my time. Unfortunately, sensitivity isn't something that can just be switched off and I haven't found I got used to it either. A couple of highlights were dogs howling through the night, listening to the neighbour above doing DIY at 5am, hearing shouting through the wall. It's possible that some people could drown this out but I find it quite disturbing. Yes, a detached house with distance from neighbours is definitely the ideal!