Annoying But Not Nightmare Neighbours

jonners666

Just posting really to see how common annoying, but not at the level of nightmare neighbours are.


We moved into our house just over 2 months ago. In that time the (attached, semi) neighbours have had 2 parties that have gone on past midnight. The first one I could only hear talking, but it did keep me awake. The second I could hear talking and music in their garden, but slept fine once I'd put in earplugs. 

The other annoyances are noise related as well - they occasionally (3-4 times in 2 months) play music very loudly for 30mins-1hr in the middle of the day (they work nights) - loud enough to be heard all through our house. Annoying if I'm working from home - but generally not loud enough to actually interfere with work. 

They also have a motorbike which is loud - not sure what make, but even just idling, it's loud - for a couple of minutes a day. This wouldn't usually be an issue, but coupled with the above, it's starting to annoy me as well. 

Not sure if I'm just being overly sensitive, and in actuality we've only been affected by it once (when I couldn't sleep through the talking).

I wanted to buy a detached house, but we simply couldn't afford it.


Now - I'm sure we are not the quietest family either - we have a dog who barks at the doorbell, and a 2-year-old who is very terrible-twosy at the moment. But imo these are more normal family noises than late parties or loud music. 


I'm alternating between being annoyed by it and not thinking it's a big deal - so just wanted to see what others thought. Appreciate it could be a lot worse (it was in our last house and that's why we moved!) 

gettingtheresometime

I think you need to ask yourself why you consider your family generated noise is acceptable and not theirs when, on the face of your comments, the noise doesn't seem that excessive.

princeofpounds

I think you're being over-sensitive, but that's not to dismiss your discomfort.

The music may have been overly loud, but 30-60 minutes is a really short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. 

The motorbike is a bit obnoxious, but it's even more brief. 

The parties - more understandable, but again just talking... it's not the worst.

That's not to say that you can't have a discussion with them about noise. But a) you can't really go in saying they are doing too much wrong and b) you should pick your moment and strategy

For example, the loud music is something that is a bit easier to address - it's just them, the impact is clear, and it's not 'normal' living noise in the way that some others are. So you could just ask if they would be able to turn it down because (insert plausible reason here) and it would be very kind of them to do so.

jonners666

gettingtheresometime said:

I think you need to ask yourself why you consider your family generated noise is acceptable and not theirs when, on the face of your comments, the noise doesn't seem that excessive.

princeofpounds said:

I think you're being over-sensitive, but that's not to dismiss your discomfort.

Thanks the the replies. 

So this is the crux of my question - I fully appreciate that due to anxiety issues and the privilege of growing up in a detached, very quiet house, I may well be over-reacting to a very normal level of noise. I just don't know what a normal level is 

My wife grew up in noisy terraced properties and she doesn't find it bothersome at all. 

Good idea re mentioning the loud music - if it happens again and does impact on my day, I'll mention it. 

[Deleted User]

I think you are definitely being a little over-sensitive, which I can completely relate to as I am the exact same. 

We can hear our neighbours go about their everyday life, talking loudly, closing doors and drawers etc. In the big scheme of things I know it could be so much worst and it is unfair of me of expect them to not make these noises which is basically just them living. I have learned to live with it for the most part but at the same time it annoys the hell out of me sometimes especially if i'm at home on my own as its all I can focus on. 

What you need to focus on is that it is only a very short amount of time that you are being inconvenienced by the noise. The bike is for 2 minutes each day, and the 30 mins of music 3-4 times in 2 months, when you even that out is no time at all. 

The parties is a bit more of a subjective one. People should be respectful of their neighbours when having house parties, but at the same time I know how easy it is to get carried away when you're having a good time. However, 2 parties in 2 months is not like its a regular occurrence. 

RelievedSheff

You may well find that your neighbours are equally annoyed by the sound of your dog and your child.

If you live in close proximity to others then you can't expect complete silence, there has to be some give and take and from what you have said then they are not really bad neighbours and are doing nothing out of the ordinary or wrong.

jonners666

Thanks @Deleted_User and @RelievedSheff

I think this is something that it's very easy for me to get all in my head about and over-blow it completely. 

Yes, I agree, they may well be equally annoyed by dog and daughter - and we do try to keep noise down in the day when they are asleep (as they work nights).

Glad to get perspective on this from others 

Octothorpe

I hate loud motor bikes or cars!!!

Neighbours opposite used to turn bike on at 5am for about 15 minutes before leaving for work which would always wake me up! Luckily they have now moved.

Regular parties annoy me too - we had Neighbours in first lockdown still having all their family round for all day/night BBQs. Upside was I liked their taste in music haha

I am on ocassions a noisy neighbour  - bottle of wine in and loud music reliving the younger days. But I figure 99% of the time I am nearly a perfect neighbour so am allowed a bit of a respite briefly!!

In my twenties in a terraced house, neighbour had 3 kids whose wall was next to ours - no Sunday lay ins for us whilst they lived there!! But it wasn't end of the world.

Later on, new neighbour mentioned in passing they could hear our new born in the night (their room and baby's room shared a wall, bad times for them!) and our dog whining when we went out. Nothing I could really do with that information  - babies cry and dogs won't always be quiet! (It was never all day locked outside barking fyi)

Party noise still bothers me but unless they have frat style parties on the regular, then I'd let it go.

We are moving to a detached but understand that garden noise will still be heard just like in a terrace or semi.

Scotbot

Like you I grew up in a detached house and am overly sensitive to noise. As you describe it the noise from them is well within the bounds of what is reasonable. Your wife is a good barometer,  if it starts to annoy her then it's likely excessive.

 The fact is you are going to hear neighbours in a semi so you need to come up with coping strategies . Easier said than done I know

EmmyLou30

Sounds like normal noise and for only short periods so I don’t think there’s much to complain about. Especially as you have admitted your dog barks at the doorbell when it shouldn’t! All part of rubbing along with neighbours. 

Justonemorecupoftea

The house next to us has been turned into flats and our bedroom now backs on to their kitchen. This would probably be ok, but they work shifts so we get boiler noise at weird hours when they get in and shower and hear general cooking/kitchen noises at odd hours. We were looking to move anyway, but that has added to our list of reasons!