Scammed on dating site

Pollycat

[Deleted User] said:

I know this is a long shot, but I have been targeted by an online dating scam, most likely a very professional Nigerian dating scam, totally plausible and believable, my friends and family were all as convinced as I was that this was a genuine person. I lost a sum of money (I realise this was my responsibility and that it was a very silly thing to do...) Reported to my bank who say they haven't been able to recover the funds, and also reported to Action Fraud. Any ideas about how I can recover any of my money?
Thanks in advance

It seems the OP has deleted her account.

I think it would have possibly been helpful for other potential victims to know exactly what this scam was, especially given the bit above in bold.

Grumpelstiltskin

Don't know if the OP didn't like what I said but I just can't comprehend how some one would sent money ( and I guess we are not talking £20 here ) to someone they have only sent E Mails  etc. to.
I am a widow so I guess if I went on dating sites I would be the sort of person the scammers would target but 
a) I would want the person to live in England ( with proof )
b) The minute money was mentioned I would delete them.

kimwp

Pollycat said:

[Deleted User] said:

I know this is a long shot, but I have been targeted by an online dating scam, most likely a very professional Nigerian dating scam, totally plausible and believable, my friends and family were all as convinced as I was that this was a genuine person. I lost a sum of money (I realise this was my responsibility and that it was a very silly thing to do...) Reported to my bank who say they haven't been able to recover the funds, and also reported to Action Fraud. Any ideas about how I can recover any of my money?
Thanks in advance

It seems the OP has deleted her account.

I think it would have possibly been helpful for other potential victims to know exactly what this scam was, especially given the bit above in bold.

I think we can assume (as she states that it was likely a Nigerian dating scam) that she'd never met the person she was talking to and either sent money or allowed them access to her bank accounts or computer, perhaps by downloading something - the latter becoming more and more common with scammers. It would have been good to have more information though.

Pollycat

kimwp said:

Pollycat said:

[Deleted User] said:

I know this is a long shot, but I have been targeted by an online dating scam, most likely a very professional Nigerian dating scam, totally plausible and believable, my friends and family were all as convinced as I was that this was a genuine person. I lost a sum of money (I realise this was my responsibility and that it was a very silly thing to do...) Reported to my bank who say they haven't been able to recover the funds, and also reported to Action Fraud. Any ideas about how I can recover any of my money?
Thanks in advance

It seems the OP has deleted her account.

I think it would have possibly been helpful for other potential victims to know exactly what this scam was, especially given the bit above in bold.

I think we can assume (as she states that it was likely a Nigerian dating scam) that she'd never met the person she was talking to and either sent money or allowed them access to her bank accounts or computer, perhaps by downloading something - the latter becoming more and more common with scammers. It would have been good to have more information though.

I understand how these scams work.

I was particularly referring to the bit about her friends and family being convinced that the person she sent money to was genuine.

I'd have thought in a circle of friends and family someone would pipe up 'Hang on a minute'. I'm not sure this chap is who he says he is. Hang onto your money until we've checked it out further'.

I've seen enough interviews on tv and read enough articles in the media to be suspicious of scams like this and would voice my concern to any relative or friend who was thinking of sending money to some random stranger met online.

I just wondered if this was a step up from the usual scams and might ring alarm bells for other potential victims in the future.

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Don't know if the OP didn't like what I said but I just can't comprehend how some one would sent money ( and I guess we are not talking £20 here ) to someone they have only sent E Mails  etc. to.
I am a widow so I guess if I went on dating sites I would be the sort of person the scammers would target but 
a) I would want the person to live in England ( with proof )
b) The minute money was mentioned I would delete them.

I can't comprehend it either but it does happen.

And not just to old people.

This lady lost £ half a million.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9439981/Former-police-officer-scammed-500k-romance-fraudsters.html

Some of these people must be incredibly believable.

That's why I though it might have been helpful for the OP to explain the scam.

kimwp

Pollycat said:

kimwp said:

Pollycat said:

[Deleted User] said:

I know this is a long shot, but I have been targeted by an online dating scam, most likely a very professional Nigerian dating scam, totally plausible and believable, my friends and family were all as convinced as I was that this was a genuine person. I lost a sum of money (I realise this was my responsibility and that it was a very silly thing to do...) Reported to my bank who say they haven't been able to recover the funds, and also reported to Action Fraud. Any ideas about how I can recover any of my money?
Thanks in advance

It seems the OP has deleted her account.

I think it would have possibly been helpful for other potential victims to know exactly what this scam was, especially given the bit above in bold.

I think we can assume (as she states that it was likely a Nigerian dating scam) that she'd never met the person she was talking to and either sent money or allowed them access to her bank accounts or computer, perhaps by downloading something - the latter becoming more and more common with scammers. It would have been good to have more information though.

I understand how these scams work.

I was particularly referring to the bit about her friends and family being convinced that the person she sent money to was genuine.

I'd have thought in a circle of friends and family someone would pipe up 'Hang on a minute'. I'm not sure this chap is who he says he is. Hang onto your money until we've checked it out further'.

I've seen enough interviews on tv and read enough articles in the media to be suspicious of scams like this and would voice my concern to any relative or friend who was thinking of sending money to some random stranger met online.

I just wondered if this was a step up from the usual scams and might ring alarm bells for other potential victims in the future.

Good point. I made the assumption that her friends and family had limited information from her about the relationship, were similarly unaware of the warning signs of a dating scam or she was slightly stretching the truth in her post for credibility (or a combination of all three). But assumptions are rarely helpful in these situations!

Mojisola

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Don't know if the OP didn't like what I said but I just can't comprehend how some one would sent money ( and I guess we are not talking £20 here ) to someone they have only sent E Mails  etc. to.
I am a widow so I guess if I went on dating sites I would be the sort of person the scammers would target but 
a) I would want the person to live in England ( with proof )
b) The minute money was mentioned I would delete them.

It's always worth doing a search on images to see if any photos sent are really of someone else. 

74jax

kimwp said:

Pollycat said:

kimwp said:

Pollycat said:

[Deleted User] said:

I know this is a long shot, but I have been targeted by an online dating scam, most likely a very professional Nigerian dating scam, totally plausible and believable, my friends and family were all as convinced as I was that this was a genuine person. I lost a sum of money (I realise this was my responsibility and that it was a very silly thing to do...) Reported to my bank who say they haven't been able to recover the funds, and also reported to Action Fraud. Any ideas about how I can recover any of my money?
Thanks in advance

It seems the OP has deleted her account.

I think it would have possibly been helpful for other potential victims to know exactly what this scam was, especially given the bit above in bold.

I think we can assume (as she states that it was likely a Nigerian dating scam) that she'd never met the person she was talking to and either sent money or allowed them access to her bank accounts or computer, perhaps by downloading something - the latter becoming more and more common with scammers. It would have been good to have more information though.

I understand how these scams work.

I was particularly referring to the bit about her friends and family being convinced that the person she sent money to was genuine.

I'd have thought in a circle of friends and family someone would pipe up 'Hang on a minute'. I'm not sure this chap is who he says he is. Hang onto your money until we've checked it out further'.

I've seen enough interviews on tv and read enough articles in the media to be suspicious of scams like this and would voice my concern to any relative or friend who was thinking of sending money to some random stranger met online.

I just wondered if this was a step up from the usual scams and might ring alarm bells for other potential victims in the future.

Good point. I made the assumption that her friends and family had limited information from her about the relationship, were similarly unaware of the warning signs of a dating scam or she was slightly stretching the truth in her post for credibility (or a combination of all three). But assumptions are rarely helpful in these situations!

It's such a sad thing to do to someone, and the op could actually help others.

It clearly wasn't the usual scam we read about and I think it was a company rather than a person. But the op could totally help others. If it wasn't for people talking about the usual scams we can recognise, then we wouldn't recognise them. This is clearly upped a level to fool op, her family and her friends. 

Pollycat

74jax said:

kimwp said:

Pollycat said:

kimwp said:

Pollycat said:

[Deleted User] said:

I know this is a long shot, but I have been targeted by an online dating scam, most likely a very professional Nigerian dating scam, totally plausible and believable, my friends and family were all as convinced as I was that this was a genuine person. I lost a sum of money (I realise this was my responsibility and that it was a very silly thing to do...) Reported to my bank who say they haven't been able to recover the funds, and also reported to Action Fraud. Any ideas about how I can recover any of my money?
Thanks in advance

It seems the OP has deleted her account.

I think it would have possibly been helpful for other potential victims to know exactly what this scam was, especially given the bit above in bold.

I think we can assume (as she states that it was likely a Nigerian dating scam) that she'd never met the person she was talking to and either sent money or allowed them access to her bank accounts or computer, perhaps by downloading something - the latter becoming more and more common with scammers. It would have been good to have more information though.

I understand how these scams work.

I was particularly referring to the bit about her friends and family being convinced that the person she sent money to was genuine.

I'd have thought in a circle of friends and family someone would pipe up 'Hang on a minute'. I'm not sure this chap is who he says he is. Hang onto your money until we've checked it out further'.

I've seen enough interviews on tv and read enough articles in the media to be suspicious of scams like this and would voice my concern to any relative or friend who was thinking of sending money to some random stranger met online.

I just wondered if this was a step up from the usual scams and might ring alarm bells for other potential victims in the future.

Good point. I made the assumption that her friends and family had limited information from her about the relationship, were similarly unaware of the warning signs of a dating scam or she was slightly stretching the truth in her post for credibility (or a combination of all three). But assumptions are rarely helpful in these situations!

It's such a sad thing to do to someone, and the op could actually help others.

It clearly wasn't the usual scam we read about and I think it was a company rather than a person. But the op could totally help others. If it wasn't for people talking about the usual scams we can recognise, then we wouldn't recognise them. This is clearly upped a level to fool op, her family and her friends. 

That's the impression I got too.

In the link I gave above about the lady who was scammed out of £500k, she was praised for being 'brave' after she shared her story on Good Morning Britain.

And I would thank the bravery of the OP of this thread if she had shared her story to avoid others people being caught in the same/similar scam.

CookieMonster

The letters are written in such a way as to persuade well and to assuage concerns - even the written word can be presented in a psychologically 'pleasing' manner, much like a 'silver-tongued devil' would do in person.
I can completely understand someone being taken in from a couple of the examples I've seen in the past.
Very good English, professionally written and very persuasive.
 
When so much of our information is shown on the interweb, between social media and especially on dating profiles (where applicable), it's easy for a scammer to find and scam the personality type they seek. Especially if the person is looking for love.

It's a shame that the OP didn't share further details for others to learn to spot the signs/see an example.
But, from some of the replies, I'm not surprised they've buggered off.

sassyblue

kimwp said:

sassyblue said:

MysteryMe said:

"It’s people like the rest of us on this forum who will effectively pay for your money to be repaid and why should everyone else suffer increased interest rates on credit cards or savings rates cut because you were daft?  There’s so much information everywhere about these scams there’s no excuse to send money to someone you’ve never met."

It is comments like this that make the job of investigators such as myself so much more difficult.  Two of the biggest areas for scamming are online dating and modelling sites and the percentage of victims reporting such scams to the authorities is much lower than in other types of fraud due to the embarrassment factor and receiving responses like that quoted. Someone being lonely, being vulnerable, being trustworthy does not make it their fault for being scammed. Victim blaming serves no purpose and actually helps scammers because the fewer the number of complaints, the fewer the numbers of investigations by either the police or trading standards.   I will also say using the word suffering in relation to interest rates is crass knowing the type of crime the OP has been 

Erm, where did I say it was the OP's fault? It’s ALWAYS the scammers fault but there is enough information and stories out there to read.

It’s also a fact we will all end up reimbursing the banks for anything they have to pay out, banks are businesses are they not?  The OP was asked more than once to share how she was scammed to helps others but chose not to.
I think it’s crass to make things up for likes but each to their own. 

Where did you say it was the OP's fault? "Because you were daft". Then pointing out that their mistake is covered by increased costs to others (while true) implies that they take responsibility, which would usually only be expected where someone is at fault. Hth.

The OP said she took responsibility for her actions if you read her posts properly and you agree that what she did ends up in increased costs to the rest of us.

Saying she was daft is not saying she was to blame, it’s saying she did something silly - it was you who called it her 'mistake' - which implies it is actually you who is blaming the OP. 

HTH