Dating & gifts

mutley74

I been dating a nice lady for a few months, just the past few weeks we have gone more serious. We are not living together. 
We talk daily and plan to meet weekly too.  
Last time I took some flowers (first time thus a large bunch). When she visited me she brought me a nice gift. 
Ideally like to buy her flowers more often, but someone told me, I should not make it habit as the other party could make it an expectation by unconscious conditioning. 
What sort of gifts go well each time for dating?  I don't like to go empty hand on a formal date, or would that be a good thing now and then?
Meeting tomorrow, and i was thinking maybe a small bunch of flowers and a nice chocolate bar or a book I have bought. 
Welcome the views of other ladies on the forum. What sort of gifts do you like? How often? 

BrassicWoman

no gifts. it's not an expectation. 

gettingtheresometime

I never expected gifts when hubby & I were dating, admittedly 30yrs ago.
The odd unexpected, I-saw-this-and-thought-of-you, type gift was - and I guess still is - appreciated but a gift on every date is a bit OTT imo.

rach_k

I would prefer to be bought gifts because somebody saw something and thought of me, rather than them thinking 'must buy a gift, what can I get her?'.

I'd not take something each time.  It loses meaning, as well as putting pressure on both of you (it will become expected and she'll not know if she's supposed to reciprocate).  If you've been talking about something and then you see a little gift that would be appropriate, e.g. she says she hasn't read your favourite book, or she's had a bad day and you see her favourite chocs, then do that, but I wouldn't sit thinking about what to take.  If it isn't obvious, you shouldn't do it (unless it's a birthday or something!).  

comeandgo

When you meet are you going out or is she cooking a meal for you?  If she is cooking or you are spending time in her house then I think a small gift is fine, I always bring something over to someone’s house if they are hosting me.  A small box of chocs or book sounds fine.  Occasionally flowers as they do require input and attention which sometimes a person is loath to give.

Misslayed

I once had a freshly home made loaf of bread on a first date! I thought it was a delightful gesture, and actually said a lot about the gentleman. 

mutley74

comeandgo said:

When you meet are you going out or is she cooking a meal for you?  If she is cooking or you are spending time in her house then I think a small gift is fine, I always bring something over to someone’s house if they are hosting me.  A small box of chocs or book sounds fine.  Occasionally flowers as they do require input and attention which sometimes a person is loath to give.

We have made a pack lunch previously for both of us when were outdoors. I made dinner last week for our first sit down dinner. 
Tomorrow we are getting a takeout for lunch. 

pinkshoes

Gifts should be sporadic and spontaneous.

So perhaps if you spot something that would make them smile, then get that. A book, something hand made, or even send a photo on whatsapp with a "saw this and thought of you" sort of thing? 

I must prefer thoughtful, spontaneous or home made stuff. It's so easy just to spend money on something, so gifts that take thought or time are the best. 

maman

I agree that gifts are best when visiting each others homes. Then (regardless of whether it's a date) I'd always take something like wine or flowers. Beyond that, it rather depends how you plan to arrange finances going forward. Would you be paying for the take out? That's a gift in itself. I don't want to bring things down to a mundane level but gifts can become tit for tat and not everyone can afford it. Generally I'd say special occasions only except for cheap 'thought of you' things. 

mutley74

maman said:

I agree that gifts are best when visiting each others homes. Then (regardless of whether it's a date) I'd always take something like wine or flowers. Beyond that, it rather depends how you plan to arrange finances going forward. Would you be paying for the take out? That's a gift in itself. I don't want to bring things down to a mundane level but gifts can become tit for tat and not everyone can afford it. Generally I'd say special occasions only except for cheap 'thought of you' things. 

I am fortunate to afford gifts (within reason), but would only spend more on more formal occasions such as her birthday, Xmas etc. 
I will offer for the take out tomorrow, unless she insists.  Good point "tit for tat". To me its not so much the value but the thought. So even a bunch of flowers under a £5 is just as nice than a bigger formal bunch. Might just take a minimum thing tomorrow and keep something bigger for next week when we have a weekend together. 

jennystarpepper

What a nice thing to do.  Lucky person.

I love a bunch of flowers,  or a simple £1 bunch of daffs.  As @pinkshoes has said ..... Gifts should be sporadic and spontaneous.  Just taking an interest in things they like is good and it's free!  I like a walk on the beach or feeding the ducks in the park, things like this can be better than a gift. 

If you like this person, and it sounds like you do.... don't over do things too early on, i'm sure you won't.