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Ultimatums-do they actually work

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  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've helped Parliament
     (divorcing couple)
    every house sale needs motivated sellers and it is a priority early in the process to try to establish how motivated
    the two main sellers  to watch out for  divorce then probate.

    Issues over distributions can be resolved later, the problem is more likely  lack of  agreement on the price or one does not want to sell(usually the one living in the place).

    An ultimatum to pull out could play into the hands of of one that wants to stay as that delays the process for months they get to stay.

    How much negotiation was there on price.

     What from the outside, knowing more than we should about their circumstances there appears to be issues of coercion, control and financial abuse at play. Bloody lovely. 

    how soon in te process did you uncover this as that would set alarm bells there could be issues as the motivations to sell are probably not unanimous.


  • Scotbot
    Scotbot Posts: 1,535 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    In your position I would state in writing to all EAs and solicitors that the offer of x stands if completion occurs by June 30th after which the offers is revised to Y. The reduction being the amount you lose in stamp duty plus a bit for fees.
    In a divorce situation money talks so they may listen. Or they may not so in the meantime carry on looking
  • princeofpounds
    princeofpounds Posts: 10,396 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    There are ultimatums and ultimatums.

    In many circumstances, the correct thing to do initially is to say 'if we don't exchange by date X, then we will be looking at other properties'. Then go and actually do it. They can't complain about the loss of exclusivity because it's their own delays that have caused it. You may well find something better - in fact give it enough time you invariably will. And if they do get their act together then the EA will normally come right back to you because you are so far advanced in the transaction that you have a huge advantage over other buyers. That advantage only weakens if someone else offers considerably more, or a lot of time elapses.

    I am normally sceptical of reducing offers - they normally just alienate the counterparty unless they are desperate for quick money - but in the current circumstances, with stamp duty deadlines etc., they are something to consider.

    Finally, suggest to the EA that if the dispute is not over the sale of the house, just the division of proceeds, then they can sell the house to you and have the disputed portion of the proceeds held in escrow by their solicitor. There is no need for them to have this dispute on your time.

    As to whether they work? They certain CAN work, but you don't always get the answer you want. What they actually do is expose the truth about the ability and willingness to sell. The truth is, if someone won't sell for price X and date Y despite verbally agreeing that up front... then it wasn't ever going to happen.
  • LAD917
    LAD917 Posts: 114 Forumite
    100 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ultimatums work when there's solution.  E.g., getting a buyer to accept indemnity insurance for something.  I've been that vendor and that buyer.

    When there's no solution, the sale may well fall apart.  That's been me, too.  I was in this same situation in January - a divorcing couple, where I questioned one party's commitment to actually selling - and walked away.  The property subsequently went under offer to someone else.  I'll be curious to see if it ever actually completes.

    I agree with others that I wouldn't go to an ultimatum just yet, especially if you suspect one of the vendors isn't ready to sell.  I would, however, start looking at other properties and make the estate agent aware that you're doing so.
  • Angela_D_3
    Angela_D_3 Posts: 1,071 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    If they can’t decide,  the matter will go to court.  Took my ex two years to sort it out 
  • Falafels
    Falafels Posts: 665 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper
    Ultimatums only work if you're prepared to stick by them; this holds true in any scenario - emotional/employment related/you name it. If you have genuinely reached a point where there's a clear choice, and walking away would be better for you if the hoped-for outcome doesn't happen, then make the other party aware of this. It doesn't even have to be done in a confrontational way, just a statement of fact.

    As a form of manipulation, you risk 'cutting off your nose to spite your face' or having to make a humiliating climbdown which can affect the future of the transaction. Also assess whether the party to whom you're issuing the ultimatum is actually in a position to deal with it. They may not be. Then you need to establish whether you'd genuinely be better off if the transaction falls through, or not. If the latter, it's an empty gesture which achieves nothing.
  • steampowered
    steampowered Posts: 6,176 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Ultimatums can work, just deliver them in the right way:

    - Be firm and clear. 
    - Set a reasonable deadline - no point setting an ultimatum that asks for something unachievable.
    - Be polite.

    Don't phrase it as if you think the sellers are idiots. Keep it factual. For example - "My chain will collapse unless exchange has happened by XXX date. Therefore we will have no choice but to pull out of the transaction and find another property unless exchange has happened by XXX date."
  • ElizabethRose
    ElizabethRose Posts: 168 Forumite
    100 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    loosingmymind said:
    First it was about belongings, then it was about split of proceeds, now they’ve agreed to have proceeds held by solicitor but he’s saying he’s broke and can’t move out without a vast sum of money in order to move. I think he’s asking for 6 figures in advance of proceeds being divided otherwise ‘he can’t move’. I struggle to see that this reasonable and so does Mrs Vendor. So she’s saying no but has offered him a reduced but reasonable amount to cover his moving costs. Which I think is extremely reasonable given that she’s homeless and living in a hostel with her children having escaped him.  
    Sorry to say this isn't going to resolve it quickly. It sounds like he is still trying to exert power and won't move until he gets what he wants. I'd seriously look at other properties as this may have to go all the way to court. Sorry this won't be what you want to hear.
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've helped Parliament
     (divorcing couple)
    every house sale needs motivated sellers and it is a priority early in the process to try to establish how motivated
    the two main sellers  to watch out for  divorce then probate.

    Issues over distributions can be resolved later, the problem is more likely  lack of  agreement on the price or one does not want to sell(usually the one living in the place).

    An ultimatum to pull out could play into the hands of of one that wants to stay as that delays the process for months they get to stay.

    How much negotiation was there on price.

     What from the outside, knowing more than we should about their circumstances there appears to be issues of coercion, control and financial abuse at play. Bloody lovely. 

    how soon in te process did you uncover this as that would set alarm bells there could be issues as the motivations to sell are probably not unanimous.


    We were sold up the river on this one. We’re told by the EA that they had originally meant to sell in July but they weren’t on the same page, agreement on proceeds had been reached and hence they went to market. On the signed memorandum of sale from the buyers under their preferred date of exchange was ASAP and under complete was before 31 March. We sailed through the paperwork and were ready to exchange end of March. That’s when the problems started. First it was about belongings, then it was about split of proceeds, now they’ve agreed to have proceeds held by solicitor but he’s saying he’s broke and can’t move out without a vast sum of money in order to move. I think he’s asking for 6 figures in advance of proceeds being divided otherwise ‘he can’t move’. I struggle to see that this reasonable and so does Mrs Vendor. So she’s saying no but has offered him a reduced but reasonable amount to cover his moving costs. Which I think is extremely reasonable given that she’s homeless and living in a hostel with her children having escaped him.  Honestly it’s a dreadful situation. And quite unwittingly and insidiously, all of that nastiness has crept into our otherwise happy life. I wouldn’t trade places. But god it makes me so upset that a total stranger is finding a way to undo us as well. 
    You are getting too involved taking sides thinking it might get resolved because that is reasonable(in your mind)

    He holds all the cards and does not need to move out till he gets what he wants from the sale.
    I suspect he will be happy if it collapses.

    Better compromise is not a reduced amount it is they take the same amount each from the proceeds leaving the rest for the later arguments.

    Leave your offer on the table, stop all progress/costs, move on to looking for another place.

    Let the EA earn his money and get the sale done,  if they have other properties in the chain they are well incentivised to stop it collapsing.

  • Scotbot
    Scotbot Posts: 1,535 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    loosingmymind said:
    First it was about belongings, then it was about split of proceeds, now they’ve agreed to have proceeds held by solicitor but he’s saying he’s broke and can’t move out without a vast sum of money in order to move. I think he’s asking for 6 figures in advance of proceeds being divided otherwise ‘he can’t move’. I struggle to see that this reasonable and so does Mrs Vendor. So she’s saying no but has offered him a reduced but reasonable amount to cover his moving costs. Which I think is extremely reasonable given that she’s homeless and living in a hostel with her children having escaped him.  
    Sorry to say this isn't going to resolve it quickly. It sounds like he is still trying to exert power and won't move until he gets what he wants. I'd seriously look at other properties as this may have to go all the way to court. Sorry this won't be what you want to hear.
    I agree. He wants the sale to fall through and will be delighted with an ultimatum. Time to look elsewhere.
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