Ultimatums-do they actually work

loosingmymind

So we’ve been waiting exchange - everyone on the chain ready for over a month. Out sellers are at the top of the chain with no chain of their own. Having said on all the paperwork it was of paramount importance to them to complete as quickly as possible, as soon as we lined up exchange, they have delayed and delayed - they’ve  been having a bun fight amongst themselves (divorcing couple with some extreme divorce complications) about the split of proceeds. What from the outside, knowing more than we should about their circumstances there appears to be issues of coercion, control and financial abuse at play. Bloody lovely. 

They can not agree and now everyone else  is suffering. Everyone facing loosing the stamp duty advantage, loosing fees, packed up and ready to go, living out of cardboard boxes and wondering what we’re all doing it for and whether this will actually bloody happen.

I’ve posted on here before and the advice fairly unanimously is to give them an ultimatum.  Our legal advisors saying the same. Estate agent saying the same. But the reality is, we stand to gain nothing from pulling out. So actually we don’t want to. The solicitors, estate agents and bystanders all gain something in as much as they don’t have to flog a dead horse for no extra money or don’t have to listen to it anymore. But in reality, everyone in our chain is still in. And no one wants to loose out.

but equally, I’m so raging angry with this couple there’s a fairly large part of me wants little more than to tell them that if they don’t get their act together in the next 2 weeks they can shove it up their Harris. Little more...except the house.

so my question-do ultimatums work. If it was a means to a positive end, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But it might not be. And I can’t even bring myself to contemplate the idea that we might issue an ultimatum only to pave the way for another buyer to swan in and take the house we’ve been mentally raising our family in and retiring in. It’s killing me. 

[Deleted User]

Only if you mean it.

Most people who are 'raging' tend to put their indignation ahead of what they really want, so give yourself a reality check first.

SpiderLegs

If you’re bluffing and it gets called you’re going to look pretty stupid.

if you’re absolutely not bluffing then go for it.

Getting_greyer

There's no point offering an ultimatum if you're not prepared to act in accordance with it.  I would advise not to offer one without first really considering what the absolute red line is for you. It must be very frustrating.

Maybe if it's a soft ultimatum is "exchange by xth of x or we will reduce offer by X".  This might hurry them up or it may just lose you the house.

eddddy

It's probably a better idea to start looking at other properties.
You can tell the EA that you're doing this, and they might tell the sellers, if they think it will make them move faster.
If/when you find another property that you want to offer on, then reassess the situation and maybe give your ultimatum.

But with a divorcing couple it's very possible that one party wants to sell and the other doesn't really, so one party is just delaying and delaying in the hope that you'll eventually give up and go away.

Greatgimp

I cannot see any ultimatum forcing me to complete - I would say "hang the consequences to the lot of you".

oscarward

We issued an ultimatum to our buyer when he faffed around after we accepted his offer. After 2 months of inaction we sent a letter to Ea to pass on saying get moving or we put it back on market. Unsurprisingly he never replied or did anything but at least we had clarity rather than sitting around for him to  progress.

EA told us speaking to his solicitor they had trouble getting the buyer to respond to questions. 

We discovered afterwards he decided to invest the deposit in his shop instead and just stopped responding to everyone.

loosingmymind

oscarward said:

We issued an ultimatum to our buyer when he faffed around after we accepted his offer. After 2 months of inaction we sent a letter to Ea to pass on saying get moving or we put it back on market. Unsurprisingly he never replied or did anything but at least we had clarity rather than sitting around for him to  progress.

EA told us speaking to his solicitor they had trouble getting the buyer to respond to questions. 

We discovered afterwards he decided to invest the deposit in his shop instead and just stopped responding to everyone.

Wow! That’s a dickish thing to do. I can’t believe some people. I’m so sorry you encountered someone like that

lookstraightahead

I've divorced and divorce is much more stressful than a house chain collapsing. You don't get it, and why should you, you just want to buy a house.

I think lots of people said. Move on. Don't get angry, they're going through the mill.

AnotherJoe

loosingmymind said:

So we’ve been waiting exchange - everyone on the chain ready for over a month. Out sellers are at the top of the chain with no chain of their own. Having said on all the paperwork it was of paramount importance to them to complete as quickly as possible, as soon as we lined up exchange, they have delayed and delayed - they’ve  been having a bun fight amongst themselves (divorcing couple with some extreme divorce complications) about the split of proceeds. What from the outside, knowing more than we should about their circumstances there appears to be issues of coercion, control and financial abuse at play. Bloody lovely. 

They can not agree and now everyone else  is suffering. Everyone facing loosing the stamp duty advantage, loosing fees, packed up and ready to go, living out of cardboard boxes and wondering what we’re all doing it for and whether this will actually bloody happen.

I’ve posted on here before and the advice fairly unanimously is to give them an ultimatum.  Our legal advisors saying the same. Estate agent saying the same. But the reality is, we stand to gain nothing from pulling out. So actually we don’t want to. The solicitors, estate agents and bystanders all gain something in as much as they don’t have to flog a dead horse for no extra money or don’t have to listen to it anymore. But in reality, everyone in our chain is still in. And no one wants to loose out.

but equally, I’m so raging angry with this couple there’s a fairly large part of me wants little more than to tell them that if they don’t get their act together in the next 2 weeks they can shove it up their Harris. Little more...except the house.

so my question-do ultimatums work. If it was a means to a positive end, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But it might not be. And I can’t even bring myself to contemplate the idea that we might issue an ultimatum only to pave the way for another buyer to swan in and take the house we’ve been mentally raising our family in and retiring in. It’s killing me. 

As Ive posted elsewhere, it did for my daughter and son in law a few months back, they actually gave an ultimatum to exchange that day or the deal was off, and they did. And it sort of worked for me 30 years ago, started a contract race to force the issue with my my prevaricating buyer.

But it might not work for you. Daughters vendor had an "out" she could  go and live with relative for a few weeks (which was her story all the way from the start until a week or two prior to the ultimatum when it turned out she'd now found a place and wanted to tie the sale and purchase together). But by then they'd had enough of being messed about and the key point is, they were serious, they would have pulled out and the vendor realised that.

Also, the house wasn't their dream house. Its a nice house and they see themselves being there for maybe 5 years. But not forever.

OTOH if you dont give them an ultimatum then maybe your buyer will drop out and you wont get your dream house anyway.

On balance my gut feel is, without an ultimatum your quarrelling couple could take forever to decide, so I'd issue one. But you dont get your money back if I'm wrong.

AnotherJoe

Greatgimp said:

I cannot see any ultimatum forcing me to complete - I would say "hang the consequences to the lot of you".

Well in that case, with nothing else seemingly forcing you to complete either (eg you being in the position of the OPs vendors) , that would be a good thing to know and they'd get certainty that you had no real intention of exchanging and werent bothered about losing your onward purchase.