Vendors won’t exchange

loosingmymind

Oof...where to start. We put viewed and put an offer in on dec. the offer was accepted and the offer specifically said that both parties wanted to exchange ASAP and complete by 31 March. Late March we were ready to exchange. 

Then the problems started. Then vendors wouldn’t commit to and exchange date and still won’t. Our buyer is hanging on like us but if they feel at all like me they’ll be getting fed up and despondent. 

It turns out the people we are buying off are a divorcing couple and they can’t agree on the split of proceeds. We weren’t given any indication of this issue throughout the process.

the plot thickens further...it turns out they are divorcing because he was abusive towards her. She is in a place of safety and he is not allowed to communicate with her directly and it very much feels like he is refusing to sign to exercise control over her. 

We we’re getting frustrated with the lack of progress and spoke to the agent. He (vendor) insisted to the agent that we should go round to discuss if there were things in the house we’d like to keep as it would help smooth the transaction. We got round there, at the vendors request and then he asked us what we wanted to discuss. We were like - what?! We didn’t ask to come round-we thought he’d asked for us to come over to talk about how we could help them move. He gave us a lengthily tour around the house doing the hard sell and telling us how great a place to live it was and then sat us down on the kitchen. He said let’s talk about exchange. He then made it clear that he wasn’t prepared to exchange until she agreed to give him a lump sum up front. When I played back to him what he’d said ‘I understand from what you’ve said that you’re not happy to exchange because if you do you loose your leverage but perhaps there is a way we can help...’ at which point he got very agitated. He didn’t like the suggestion that he was using it as leverage over his ex wife (but that is precisely what he said). 

He has since dropped his signed contract into the solicitors. But no authority to exchange. When we’ve pressed further he’s dangled an exchange date in mid May in front of us but then not communicated anything further. When we’ve asked the solicitor if there has been anything further she just says she hasn’t heard anything further she’ll let us know. When we ask the estate agent he’s just said he’s loosing the will to live and can’t spend any more time on it but if anything happens he’ll call us. 

We’ve threatened to walk away and but opted not to, leaving the offer on the table but have made it clear we are looking for other properties-we have to, we have a buyer to consider. 

We are looking but nothing is coming up that’s suitable. 

It’s our dream house. The forever home. 

I am thoroughly depressed. 

Has anyone else experienced this? It feels like financial abuse on her and a form of abuse towards everyone else concerned.

I truly don’t know what to make of it. 

princeofpounds

Divorces are famous for causing difficult transactions. 

If I were you, I would tell the EA that their clients are clearly not serious about selling the property at the current time.

If you don't exchange within 2 weeks (or however long is reasonable - a short period I suggest given you have responsibilities to a buyer of your own, but long enough to allow exchange of letters between them) then you will start looking at other places. And then actually do it.

They should not be having a marital dispute on your time, make that clear to the EA. 

You may surprise yourself and find a better property. Or, they may come to their senses and come back to exchange with you at any point (it may require a further court hearing so could be months and months and months, or the day after your ultimatum).

You won't have to worry about missing out on the property too much because you'll be so far in advance of any other buyers they would come back to you, as long as you make it clear to the EA it's an option. But you restore your options to look at new property.

Believe me, if you don't draw a line in the sand they will keep this going near-on forever. And if they don't cave quickly, you can bet that one of them was never really intending to sell at this stage.

moneysavinghero

Dear Vendor,

We are both ready to exchange and have been for some time. We have a buyer who is chomping at the bit to move into their new house (as we are into yours).

We cannot wait for ever for you to sort out your internal disputes.

We will be reducing the value of our offer by £5,000 per week starting w/c 17th May. If you make an effort to exchange by then you will still get the full offer price. The ball is now in your court.

Kind Regards
Losingmymind

loosingmymind

Thanks for the advice. I just can not believe that people behave like this. On the surface they seem like respectable people but the lack of honour or integrity is astonishing. 

TBagpuss

It is frustrating - also not uncommon, as you say, it can be a form of control, it can also be a practical issue that the person in the house needs to know what they will get in order to be able to move on. There are sometimes ways round it (e.g. each party agreeing to have a few thousand immediately to cover housing costs while they ague over the balance) but of course as the buyer you are not really in a position to propose that! 

What you can do is be very clear with the agents that you are actively looking and will pull out if you find one nd they still don't commit. This may help push things forward by giving the wife concrete evidence that his behaviour is prejudicing the sale, depending what stage their financial proceedings have reached she may be able to use this to force the sale through.

Mean while, keep looking. 

loosingmymind

TBagpuss said:

This may help push things forward by giving the wife concrete evidence that his behaviour is prejudicing the sale, depending what stage their financial proceedings have reached she may be able to use this to force the sale.

Thanks bagpuss. We had thought of this which is why we haven’t taken the offer off the table. The longer that offer is on the table (which was above the asking price and above market value, which he accepted) and he doesn’t give authority to exchange, the stronger her position is - irrespective of whether we are the eventual purchasers. 

princeofpounds

loosingmymind said:

Thanks for the advice. I just can not believe that people behave like this. On the surface they seem like respectable people but the lack of honour or integrity is astonishing. 

They have higher priorities and emotional incentives than honouring your transaction at the moment, that's all there is to it.

Thrugelmir

loosingmymind said:

Thanks for the advice. I just can not believe that people behave like this. On the surface they seem like respectable people but the lack of honour or integrity is astonishing. 

Not clear why you've become personally involved in matters which are none of your business. Decide upon your course of action and inform the agent accordingly. The vendors then can either try and resolve matters in the timeframe. Or decide to pull out of the transaction. 

loosingmymind

Forums....there’s always one. 

I don’t believe for a single second that when you’ve really cared about something and someone has messed you around, that you haven’t been personally offended. 

Or maybe you’re the messiah. 

Skiddaw1

Thrugelmir said:

loosingmymind said:

Thanks for the advice. I just can not believe that people behave like this. On the surface they seem like respectable people but the lack of honour or integrity is astonishing. 

Not clear why you've become personally involved in matters which are none of your business. Decide upon your course of action and inform the agent accordingly. The vendors then can either try and resolve matters in the timeframe. Or decide to pull out of the transaction. 

Well, being as the OP appears to have unwittingly become immersed in a power struggle between a divorcing couple it rather HAS become their business hasn't it? Though I quite agree with your advice to decide on a course of action and stick to it.

OP, I really feel for you. If you have to put this one down to experience and move on, I'll bet you find something even better. Good luck.

SpiderLegs

The problem is that you seem to think that this fantasy concept of a ‘dream home’ actually exists.

At the end of the day it’s a house that you like, which is going to be a pain in the backside to actually buy. Sit it out or move on to the next dream house is the reality.