Child Maintence(CMS) Nightmare?

maman

74jax said:

I think in their position I'd feel exactly the same.
I was wondering though if the financial agreement at divorce has a timeframe. 

Not sure what you mean by 'feel exactly the same'. OP is miffed because she's perhaps financially worse off  with her new wife than her allegedly abusive ex husband. Of course she'd want to be out of that relationship but, without knowing the settlement at the time of divorce, it's hard to know if it's fair. 

74jax

maman said:

74jax said:

I think in their position I'd feel exactly the same.
I was wondering though if the financial agreement at divorce has a timeframe. 

Not sure what you mean by 'feel exactly the same'. OP is miffed because she's perhaps financially worse off  with her new wife than her allegedly abusive ex husband. Of course she'd want to be out of that relationship but, without knowing the settlement at the time of divorce, it's hard to know if it's fair. 

I mean I think I'd feel the same as what the op has indicated they feel. Put 'think' as I'm going off what I have read, not the whole story. Totally hard to know if the divorce settlement was fair or not but it's not relevant (to me feeling miffed).  If both parents had 1 child and 1 claimed maintenance but the other didn't, I would feel miffed.

CRANKY40

Maintenance would be payable as he does have an income. Capital isn't taken into account but interest earned on capital is. Maybe that's the way forward?

Whenindoubt

Thank you for the comments. I’m happy and contented now in my life and had moved on.  My ex-husband was fianacially controlling whilst I was married to him and applying for maintenance through the CMS for money he doesn’t need is just a way to get at me because it makes him sick to know that I have done so well after I left him.  I’m most upset that he using my son to get at me.  It does appear he will now pursue this, but as been said, I can’t see him keeping up with this charade for too long.  I guess I’ll just have to see what happens.  Thank you again.

Spendless

What's the 17yo doing?  Is he at sixth form or working?  Maintenance won't be paid if he's working, I think this might apply even to apprenticeships I'm not sure. Is he intending to go to Uni? If he is then the maintenance loan is worked out on the household income of where student lives. I've no idea how they do this in the circs you describe your ex-H is in, but worth checking out. 

GeordieGeorge

Whenindoubt said:

Thank you for the comments. I’m happy and contented now in my life and had moved on.  My ex-husband was fianacially controlling whilst I was married to him and applying for maintenance through the CMS for money he doesn’t need is just a way to get at me because it makes him sick to know that I have done so well after I left him.

It looks the other way round really, that you resent the fact that he’d done better than you. If your son goes to live with his father then I think that it’s right that his mother contributes to his expenses, just as your ex-husband has been doing when your son lived with you.

74jax

GeordieGeorge said:

Whenindoubt said:

Thank you for the comments. I’m happy and contented now in my life and had moved on.  My ex-husband was fianacially controlling whilst I was married to him and applying for maintenance through the CMS for money he doesn’t need is just a way to get at me because it makes him sick to know that I have done so well after I left him.

It looks the other way round really, that you resent the fact that he’d done better than you. If your son goes to live with his father then I think that it’s right that his mother contributes to his expenses, just as your ex-husband has been doing when your son lived with you.

I 'think the point is, there's 2 children. One with each parent.
One can claim maintenance from the other, but one can't claim maintenence from someone who is a multi millionaire but not working.
I would honestly feel miffed too. 

GeordieGeorge

74jax said:

GeordieGeorge said:

Whenindoubt said:

Thank you for the comments. I’m happy and contented now in my life and had moved on.  My ex-husband was fianacially controlling whilst I was married to him and applying for maintenance through the CMS for money he doesn’t need is just a way to get at me because it makes him sick to know that I have done so well after I left him.

It looks the other way round really, that you resent the fact that he’d done better than you. If your son goes to live with his father then I think that it’s right that his mother contributes to his expenses, just as your ex-husband has been doing when your son lived with you.

I 'think the point is, there's 2 children. One with each parent.
One can claim maintenance from the other, but one can't claim maintenence from someone who is a multi millionaire but not working.
I would honestly feel miffed too. 

She doesn’t actually know what he’s worth, or how many years the money has to last him though, and has been happy with the CMS rules while they benefitted her. People working in finance tend to earn high wages but to become unemployable young so she should have been setting aside money in the bumper years to cover the couple of lean ones that there will be now.

wannabe_a_saver

GeordieGeorge said:

74jax said:

GeordieGeorge said:

Whenindoubt said:

Thank you for the comments. I’m happy and contented now in my life and had moved on.  My ex-husband was fianacially controlling whilst I was married to him and applying for maintenance through the CMS for money he doesn’t need is just a way to get at me because it makes him sick to know that I have done so well after I left him.

It looks the other way round really, that you resent the fact that he’d done better than you. If your son goes to live with his father then I think that it’s right that his mother contributes to his expenses, just as your ex-husband has been doing when your son lived with you.

I 'think the point is, there's 2 children. One with each parent.
One can claim maintenance from the other, but one can't claim maintenence from someone who is a multi millionaire but not working.
I would honestly feel miffed too. 

She doesn’t actually know what he’s worth, or how many years the money has to last him though, and has been happy with the CMS rules while they benefitted her. People working in finance tend to earn high wages but to become unemployable young so she should have been setting aside money in the bumper years to cover the couple of lean ones that there will be now.

Why do people in finance become unemployable young?  They aren't professional footballers or ballerinas!

GeordieGeorge

wannabe_a_saver said:

GeordieGeorge said:

74jax said:

GeordieGeorge said:

Whenindoubt said:

Thank you for the comments. I’m happy and contented now in my life and had moved on.  My ex-husband was fianacially controlling whilst I was married to him and applying for maintenance through the CMS for money he doesn’t need is just a way to get at me because it makes him sick to know that I have done so well after I left him.

It looks the other way round really, that you resent the fact that he’d done better than you. If your son goes to live with his father then I think that it’s right that his mother contributes to his expenses, just as your ex-husband has been doing when your son lived with you.

I 'think the point is, there's 2 children. One with each parent.
One can claim maintenance from the other, but one can't claim maintenence from someone who is a multi millionaire but not working.
I would honestly feel miffed too. 

She doesn’t actually know what he’s worth, or how many years the money has to last him though, and has been happy with the CMS rules while they benefitted her. People working in finance tend to earn high wages but to become unemployable young so she should have been setting aside money in the bumper years to cover the couple of lean ones that there will be now.

Why do people in finance become unemployable young?  They aren't professional footballers or ballerinas!

The higher earners tend to burn out, or just get too expensive, and find themselves replaced by younger people coming up behind them.