Child Maintence(CMS) Nightmare?

Whenindoubt

Recently my well paid ex-husband lost his job in the city.  He is 54 now and has no intention of working again.  Even though he is worth millions he stopped paying me child maintence for my 2 sons because under CMS rules the paying parent needs an income.  Now he has promised my older son (17) a car and money if he lives with him full time. To add insult to injury, he is now threatening to go after me for child maintenance if my son moves in with him.  My ex was very abusive, and I think this is just a continuation of abuse after I dared leave him. Can he do this?

Tammykitty

Yes, he can. If your son lives with him, he has every right to claim child Maintenance from you, just as you have claimed from him, while the children have been living with you. Do you not think it is right that you should continue to pay for your son regardless of where he lives? The maintenance will be calculated on your income and will take into account that you still have 1 child in the household.

In situations where a child lives with both parents, the ideal situation is obviously that no CMS is paid by either parent, but this is not what the the law says, each parent has a right to claim from the other, and i suppose, it may be useful where there is a large discrepancy in income

What age is your younger son?

You can also apply for a variation asking for assets to be taken into account - although it usually only covers income from assets, and things like stocks & shares etc, but you may get something for your younger son.

As for your ex being abusive - is this something you are concerned about if your son goes to live with him, that he may be abusive towards him? If so, you need to consider involving social services etc

Whenindoubt

Tammykitty said:

Yes, he can. If your son lives with him, he has every right to claim child Maintenance from you, just as you have claimed from him, while the children have been living with you. Do you not think it is right that you should continue to pay for your son regardless of where he lives? The maintenance will be calculated on your income and will take into account that you still have 1 child in the household.

In situations where a child lives with both parents, the ideal situation is obviously that no CMS is paid by either parent, but this is not what the the law says, each parent has a right to claim from the other, and i suppose, it may be useful where there is a large discrepancy in income

What age is your younger son?

You can also apply for a variation asking for assets to be taken into account - although it usually only covers income from assets, and things like stocks & shares etc, but you may get something for your younger son.

As for your ex being abusive - is this something you are concerned about if your son goes to live with him, that he may be abusive towards him? If so, you need to consider involving social services etc

The answer is no, I don’t think its right that someone who has a fortune in cash and assets(and chooses to not get another job due to a large redundancy package ) can request maintenance from a mother because I have no choice but to keep working.  It is especially galling that my son’s head is being turned by promises of luxury items that my ex can afford and I can’t.  If you think that is right then we have a different moral compass.

Thank you for your time in writing the reply though. I was hoping this was not the case, so hopefully someone can confirm or not whether the CMS will ignore non-income wealth.

As far as my son is concerned and social services, we’ll have to wait and see.  I’ll give him 6 months at the latest before he returns.  It’s difficult at 17 as they can change their minds easily if they don’t get their own way.

Tammykitty

From reading, it is possible that a notional income of 8% will be declared for any assets (excluding their own home) above £31k..

Redundancy payment not income for purpose of child support - Stowe Family Law

So if you ex has assets of £500,000, then the CMS could decide, that he has an income of £37,500 a year and calculate your maintenance based on that.

You may not see it as right that your ex can request Child support from you, but the law is not made for individual circumstances, it is right that all resident parents can request that the non resident parent pays for their child. It is right that people are not exempt from paying just because the resident parent is rich. I believe all parents should pay to support their children, i am content in how my moral compass operates.

I do not think it is right that your ex can essentially bribe your son to live with him, but like you said, he might be back within 6 months..

Whenindoubt

Thank you for the link.  I believe the original point is lost though.  My ex is not paying for his youngest son(16) who lives with me anymore though.  He wants me to pay for the eldest who is going to live with him.  Therefore, he wants me to pay for both son’s even though he has more money than I will earn if I work for another 15 years till retirement.

If anyone thinks that’s right then, I’m amazed.  

sassyblue

Of course it’s ridiculous and controlling. I’d be very surprised if he actually followed through with it, if he tried it you could easily take this story to the press.

Did you get a decent settlement when you divorced? you mentioned he's a multi millionaire.

Don't let him control your emotions, ignore him or tell him to bring it on.

Tammykitty

Whenindoubt said:

Thank you for the link.  I believe the original point is lost though.  My ex is not paying for his youngest son(16) who lives with me anymore though.  He wants me to pay for the eldest who is going to live with him.  Therefore, he wants me to pay for both son’s even though he has more money than I will earn if I work for another 15 years till retirement.

If anyone thinks that’s right then, I’m amazed.  

No, I get the original point - the ex isn't paying you, as he has no declared income - however, you can apply for a variation, and then he will be paying you according to his means.

I fully agree that he should be paying you, and after the variation is successful, he will be, unless his assets are within a company or something, and therefore can't be counted. Although, you should also be paying him if he has one of your children living with him - alternatively, you both agree, that no-one will pay the other..

How much money he has is irrelevant re: you paying him, all parents must pay for their children that don't live with them, regardless of the financial circumstances of the resident parent..this is right..and you would then be paying him according to your means. It doesn't mattet if your ex has £20m, doesn't mean you won't be assessed to pay child support should he claim it. 

My advice is to apply for the variation, and don't fight any request from your ex for child support, as although he doesn't need it, he is legally entitled to it..and your ex could also spin it against you and tell your son etc, trying to turn him against you..

maman

I agree that as the law stands your ex can make a claim if one child lives with him but, unless he's made these millions since you divorced, then surely there was a financial settlement at the time?

Given the ages of the two children then the maintenance payments won't continue for either of you for very much longer in any event but the settlement (presumably) gave you ongoing security like accommodation/share of pensions etc. 

74jax

Whenindoubt said:

Recently my well paid ex-husband lost his job in the city.  He is 54 now and has no intention of working again.  Even though he is worth millions he stopped paying me child maintence for my 2 sons because under CMS rules the paying parent needs an income.  Now he has promised my older son (17) a car and money if he lives with him full time. To add insult to injury, he is now threatening to go after me for child maintenance if my son moves in with him.  My ex was very abusive, and I think this is just a continuation of abuse after I dared leave him. Can he do this?

I think I'm right (from a previous thread) that you have remarried? I'm only asking as this would indicate the divorce perhaps isn't recent.

At the time of divorce, as the matrimonial assets were multi million pounds, was any financial clause included? Was it x amount for so many years etc?

maman

74jax said:
, 

I think I'm right (from a previous thread) that you have remarried? I'm only asking as this would indicate the divorce perhaps isn't recent.

At the time of divorce, as the matrimonial assets were multi million pounds, was any financial clause included? Was it x amount for so many years etc?

We only seem to have one side of the story here. We don't know what financial settlement was made at the time of the divorce or OP's current financial situation with the new wife. The only facts seem to be that OP resents having to work while ex has taken redundancy/early retirement. 

74jax

maman said:

74jax said:
, 

I think I'm right (from a previous thread) that you have remarried? I'm only asking as this would indicate the divorce perhaps isn't recent.

At the time of divorce, as the matrimonial assets were multi million pounds, was any financial clause included? Was it x amount for so many years etc?

We only seem to have one side of the story here. We don't know what financial settlement was made at the time of the divorce or OP's current financial situation with the new wife. The only facts seem to be that OP resents having to work while ex has taken redundancy/early retirement. 

I think in their position I'd feel exactly the same.
I was wondering though if the financial agreement at divorce has a timeframe.