Buying house with substantial gifted deposit

AnotherJoe

Murphybear said:

According to official statistics only about 4% of over 65s go into a home.  That’s a pretty whopping 96% who don’t.  

Thats been posted before but i believe its a flawed statistic, in that yes the stats are that 4% of over 65 are in care at any given time, but IIRC the odds of a person going into care, ever, are more like 1 in 3. 

 

 

 

Scotbot

Murphybear said:

According to official statistics only about 4% of over 65s go into a home.  That’s a pretty whopping 96% who don’t.  

It rises to 15% over 80

JGB1955

Both of my parents have died - one from cancer and the other, last year during lockdown, from 'final stage Parkinsons'.  Both took over 2 years to change from someone who could sit in a chair, hold a conversation, watch TV, read a book, to someone who needed hoists, specialised hospital beds, incontinence pads, pureed food etc etc.  My mother died at home, as she had wished, but it was a painful experience to watch.  10 years later my father began to show signs of 'forgetfulness, failing to feed himself, unable to remember how to get to somewhere'.  We employed live in carers for 15 months but it got too much for them so, after one hospital admission too many, he was sent for palliative care to a local nursing home.  By this time, he didn't know where he was and, 12 months later, didn't know who we were.  Death was a kind release 2 years later.  There is NO way I could have cared for him... practically or emotionally.  Just saying...

Thrugelmir

@Willow89 Do you require a mortgage? As this will add a level of complexity to the proposal. 

Willow89

@Thrugelmir Yes we would 

buythedip

Do you have other relatives who might be expecting a chunk of cash when she dies? 

Mickey666

AnotherJoe said:

Mickey666 said:

gettingtheresometime said:

My first thoughts are no don't do it....as are my second and third.

Not from a house purchasing pov but a family dynamic one.

All very well & good now when grandma is relatively fit & healthy but what happens when that isn't the case? 

Why does where she is living matter "when that isn't the case?" . . . or is it a case of out of sight out of mind?

No, its that those of us here that have experienced it know that 24 x 7 care is almost impossible to provide by one person or even two. Even something as simple as getting someone out of bed and to the toilet, and that's if there's no dementia, what happens when they are literally fighting against you, trying to "escape", etc.

But its hard for some people to appreciate this scenario and what it means for the carers physical and mental health, until they've lived it. 

You've missed my point.

I agree with you about the caring difficulties.  My point was that it is irrelevant where the person needing the caring actually lives - which is the point of this thread.  If they end up needing a care home they can move from their own home or from the home they are sharing with their family - what's the difference? 

Having said that, IF the family decide they ARE going to do the caring, then living in the same house would presumably be beneficial.

So, basically, I can see no good reason against a multi-generational home as the OP is suggesting.  

Scotbot

Mickey666 said:

AnotherJoe said:

Mickey666 said:

gettingtheresometime said:

My first thoughts are no don't do it....as are my second and third.

Not from a house purchasing pov but a family dynamic one.

All very well & good now when grandma is relatively fit & healthy but what happens when that isn't the case? 

Why does where she is living matter "when that isn't the case?" . . . or is it a case of out of sight out of mind?

No, its that those of us here that have experienced it know that 24 x 7 care is almost impossible to provide by one person or even two. Even something as simple as getting someone out of bed and to the toilet, and that's if there's no dementia, what happens when they are literally fighting against you, trying to "escape", etc.

But its hard for some people to appreciate this scenario and what it means for the carers physical and mental health, until they've lived it. 

You've missed my point.

I agree with you about the caring difficulties.  My point was that it is irrelevant where the person needing the caring actually lives - which is the point of this thread.  If they end up needing a care home they can move from their own home or from the home they are sharing with their family - what's the difference? 

The difference is that if 200k of the family home came from granny the council will bill granny the 200k for care fees. So the family home may have to be sold. 

Thrugelmir

Willow89 said:

@Thrugelmir Yes we would 

Then your mortgage lender may not accept the gifted deposit given that she'll be occupying the property. The money in effect gives her a financial interest in the property. 

AdrianC

As I said back in my first reply...

If it's a gift, it's no longer her money, she's depriving herself of assets.

If it's a loan, the lender need to be happy with it - including her being a joint borrower, almost certainly.

Either way, if the equity IS needed for her care, how does she access it?

Others have, hopefully, made you realise the dementia angle.
Care homes are often the best possible place for somebody, and a point of principle can not just ruin their last years, but ruin everybody else's lives and memories of the person. That can apply to physical needs just as much as dementia.

Willow89 said:

Thanks pinkshoes... 

Even if my gran gifted us £200K, there would still be enough money left over from the sale of her house and savings/investments to pay for any potential care cost, IF it ever came to that. I just want to do what's best for my Gran and support her for as long as I'm able to. 

My mother-in-law was in a care home for seven years.