Buying house with substantial gifted deposit

Scotbot

Hannimal said:

I am so disheartened by the comments in this thread. 

Dementia is at the very least disheartening, it is a cruel, cruel disease. 

Hannimal

My dad also went into care part time. His care was too much for three other adults at home, even though one of them (my mum) was retired. No one wanted him in a care home but home care is not always enough. That is somewhat besides the point. When the time comes, if it comes, you just face what you have to face at that time. We can't plan for these things too much.

lookstraightahead

In my lifetime, I have had three elderly loved ones who were adamant they wouldn't go into a care home. All of them did, including my gorgeous MIL and FIL, when their pride came before wanting me and my husband to look after them 24/7. Beautiful people with massive hearts.

i loved them dearly, as much as you love your grandmother. Sometimes they do need other care that you will not be able to offer them. For this they need the financial resources. If they have this separately from what they are putting into the house, maybe it's an option.

my mother in law was so so poorly and before her care in a home my husband was at his wits end - crying and upset that he couldn't support her.

Please think carefully.

just to add, where you have said your Gran WILL NOT go into a care home, that's what my MIL said as well. We all love and care about our nearest and dearest.

Scotbot

Hannimal said:

My dad also went into care part time. His care was too much for three other adults at home, even though one of them (my mum) was retired. No one wanted him in a care home but home care is not always enough. That is somewhat besides the point. When the time comes, if it comes, you just face what you have to face at that time. We can't plan for these things too much.

I am sorry about your dad, no one wants to be forced to put a family member into care even if it is the best thing for them.

Whilst no one knows whether care will be required or for how long it is important to understand the financial implications  around deprivation of assets. This essentially  means that if money from a property is gifted it has to be paid back if care is required . 

lookstraightahead

Hannimal said:

gettingtheresometime said:

My first thoughts are no don't do it....as are my second and third.

Not from a house purchasing pov but a family dynamic one.

All very well & good now when grandma is relatively fit & healthy but what happens when that isn't the case? 

I could not disagree more. I am actually genuinely upset by this comment. My dad died of dementia last year and my sister and her family moved in with my parents to help out because that was easier than supporting remotely. The idea of refusing to live with an elderly relative in case they fall ill sounds cold and callous. 

Did your dad still have your mum as well? 

root

It's easy to call those that have had to put loved ones into dementia care, cold and callous... but the reality becomes, knocking on neighbours doors in the middle of the night, leaving the oven on, doors unlocked, wide open windows, giving money away to strangers, wandering screaming down the street, punching, incontinence etc. etc.

It becomes too much or you to handle. It literally becomes a 24 hours per day on-call job.

(Edited as it came across badly)

Mojisola

Willow89 said:

she WILL NOT go into a care home

Even if that's where she will get the best care for her needs?

I know of several people whose last years where miserable because their family insisted on keeping them at home in case 'people talked about them' for having a parent in a care home.

Willow89

Mojisola said:

Willow89 said:

she WILL NOT go into a care home

Even if that's where she will get the best care for her needs?

I know of several people whose last years where miserable because their family insisted on keeping them at home in case 'people talked about them' for having a parent in a care home.

Her words not mine! 

root

Willow89 said:

Mojisola said:

Willow89 said:

she WILL NOT go into a care home

Even if that's where she will get the best care for her needs?

I know of several people whose last years where miserable because their family insisted on keeping them at home in case 'people talked about them' for having a parent in a care home.

Her words not mine! 

The reality is, everybody says this. Nobody says 'I will go into a care home'. 

Things will change hugely as she gets older

Willow89

Thanks everyone for your comments. I'll take all that you've said onboard... 

This post was never meant to cause offense to anyone, so sorry if it has. I was just looking for advice on the £ side of things.

I wasn't saying that care would be ruled out or anything like that, and I certainly don't judge anyone that has had to placed a loved one into care. Each family has to do what is right for them. 

Just to reiterate - at the moment a care home setting wouldn't be right for her, she is of sound mind and can make decisions for her self, she does not show any signs of dementia at present! It is only her mobility that is limited.