God parent dilemma (or in my case non dilemma).

Retireby40

Hey everyone.

Do people think it is necessary to have God parents. And if you're definately having 1 is that enough?

Basically other half has a sister and thats simple for the godmother. However she has tasked me with finding/picking a God father. And frankly I don't want to.

She isn't from the UK and we live in her country (somewhere in Europe) therefore I haven't anyone really here that I would like to ask. I don't have any brothers or close family really either really apart from a cousin about 15 years older than me and one about 12 years younger both of whom I have very little relationship with.

My friends back home are exactly that. Friends back home. I have no plans to ever return to the UK (apart from the odd holiday) and they all have their own lives going on. And to be honest I am equally friends with them all so to choose one of them would be a nightmare.

Basically I said to other half look I don't want to choose anyone, let your sister be God mother and leave it at that. (Sister is a lot younger than partner so doesnt have boyfriend/partner or anything).

She thinks the baby needs a godfather but surely this is unnecessary hassle. Is it weird to have a God mother and not a god father. For me it isn't but for her it seems odd.

CookieMonster

It is odd to have one and not the other, at least at the Christening.
But these days, do as you will, especially if non-religious..

Godparents have responsibility for the religious education of the child if the parents are unable to do so (i.e. if the parents are deceased).
(I'm a Godfather).

If you would like to light the spark on a better relationship with one of your male cousins, now is an ideal opportunity.

littlegreenparrot

I have a godmother and don't have a godfather so I don't find it weird. 
Never understood why though as neither my parents or her are religious so it was meaningless. 

Many people don't have them at all, it depends what you mean by 'necessary'. 

The naming of godparents is part of the christening ceremony to welcome the child into the church, if that ceremony is important to you then every part is. If it's not important because you're not religious I guess the question would be why do it in the first place? 

maman

I'd have thought that Covid would give you a way out of your problem. Even if you did have a close friend from the UK, they wouldn't be able to travel to stand up as godfather. If your partner thinks it essential then ask her to choose a local friend or family member. Any support for the child is more likely from someone who lives locally as you don't intend to return to the UK. 

sheramber

I am Church of  Scotland. We only have a godmother.

Pollycat

Retireby40 said:

Hey everyone.

Do people think it is necessary to have God parents. And if you're definately having 1 is that enough?

Basically other half has a sister and thats simple for the godmother. However she has tasked me with finding/picking a God father. And frankly I don't want to.

She isn't from the UK and we live in her country (somewhere in Europe) therefore I haven't anyone really here that I would like to ask. I don't have any brothers or close family really either really apart from a cousin about 15 years older than me and one about 12 years younger both of whom I have very little relationship with.

My friends back home are exactly that. Friends back home. I have no plans to ever return to the UK (apart from the odd holiday) and they all have their own lives going on. And to be honest I am equally friends with them all so to choose one of them would be a nightmare.

Basically I said to other half look I don't want to choose anyone, let your sister be God mother and leave it at that. (Sister is a lot younger than partner so doesnt have boyfriend/partner or anything).

She thinks the baby needs a godfather but surely this is unnecessary hassle. Is it weird to have a God mother and not a god father. For me it isn't but for her it seems odd.

Why are you allowing someone else to dictate to you about godparents?

If it's your child, it's should be your decision.

Not what someone else thinks or tasks you with.

Mojisola

Retireby40 said:

Basically other half has a sister and thats simple for the godmother. However she has tasked me with finding/picking a God father. And frankly I don't want to.


She thinks the baby needs a godfather

Then suggest you both agree on a man from her side of the family.

oldhaggis

I am female and only had a godfather and no godmother. My mother told me he emigrated to Canada  when I was a toddler and they had lost contact. 
I don't think that only having one godparent has had any effect on my life. I agree with the OP that only having one godparent is not weird.

theoretica

Only having one godparent is fine - but what will your partner expect a godparent to do?  If it is only an extra adult to send presents then finding someone you think would like to be named need not be a big deal.

Retireby40

Pollycat said:

Retireby40 said:

Hey everyone.

Do people think it is necessary to have God parents. And if you're definately having 1 is that enough?

Basically other half has a sister and thats simple for the godmother. However she has tasked me with finding/picking a God father. And frankly I don't want to.

She isn't from the UK and we live in her country (somewhere in Europe) therefore I haven't anyone really here that I would like to ask. I don't have any brothers or close family really either really apart from a cousin about 15 years older than me and one about 12 years younger both of whom I have very little relationship with.

My friends back home are exactly that. Friends back home. I have no plans to ever return to the UK (apart from the odd holiday) and they all have their own lives going on. And to be honest I am equally friends with them all so to choose one of them would be a nightmare.

Basically I said to other half look I don't want to choose anyone, let your sister be God mother and leave it at that. (Sister is a lot younger than partner so doesnt have boyfriend/partner or anything).

She thinks the baby needs a godfather but surely this is unnecessary hassle. Is it weird to have a God mother and not a god father. For me it isn't but for her it seems odd.

Why are you allowing someone else to dictate to you about godparents?

If it's your child, it's should be your decision.

Not what someone else thinks or tasks you with.

I'm not. It's my other half who has asked me to find one. She has her sister for godmother. 

Unfortunately in relationships you have to discuss things. Cant always just do what I want or what I think is best always compromise.

Retireby40

Thanks for the comments.

Regarding the duties the godfather will have no duties. Its literally picking something for the sake of it. 

The godmother is basically going to be the child's aunt so will have an active part in it's life. 

Think I will just suggest going with the godmother and not a godfather or she can pick someone. Her family is also female dominant so she would have to ask a 2nd cousin or something which I believe to be ridiculous. Asking someone you barely talk to to be a godparent just for the sake of picking one.