Forget that I ever existed

74jax

I understand what the op is saying (I'm probably the only one I think reading this thread... 😂) but in my case I don't get bothered by other people and what they say. A lot just washed over me at work.
I had my daughter at 20 and she's 23, I do get the odd person saying I don't look old enough, when she started uni someone said something like 'you don't look old enough to have a child at uni'. I have had comments like this throughout and personally find them really intrusive. What am I to say back 'well actually I was of age when I concieved her 😂'. I just ignore all age remarks. But I don't stew over them either.
I was involved in a case at work where someone had brought in cakes, it involved 2 people, 1 of slight build and 1 of larger build. Someone said (when the slight build didn't take one) something similar too 'you can tell you wouldn't eat it but xyz would'. Both took offence to this, 1 for feeling they were saying they eat to much cake and 1 because it turned out they had an eating disorder.  Weight comments and age comments I don't feel appropriate and don't engage in them. But...... I also didn't engage in most comments unless it was about work.  I was in an area way off the open plan, so left to my own devices but if anyone stopped by my desk my boss would buzz and why 'what was xyz wanting'. I think my company culture was very much work work work in general. 

MovingForwards

When I said:
"What is it you want people to say? What are you looking to achieve? You need to take steps to make these things happen."

I was actually on about you making these various posts on MSE, looking for answers.

We're all going round in circles. If you want a different job then go for it, but accept you may have to take a pay cut. However, I can't see that happening as now you're saying you would like to retire early, but can't resist money. 

MovingForwards

Ok, so now we're finally starting to get somewhere. You need to work out a plan as you're seeing things very black and white, with none of the colours in between.
Yes, you will need money to pay for things, as we all do, it doesn't mean you have to work into retirement.

I'm currently planning early retirement because I've had enough of working FT and want to do things with my time before / if my health declines further.
For me to do that I sat for ages working out how I could clear my mortgage in 10 years and started making overpayments. Only another 9 years to go.
Next step was working out how much money I would need each month, not including pension, mortgage and work related costs. That's the minimum income I can earn when the mortgage is cleared and it opened up reduced hours or working PT somewhere.
Knowing that figure then let me see I could actually retire early. For each £X amount in the bank (cash, S&S etc) it knocks one month off when I can stop working. Even if I retire in my late 50s or early 60s, there's nothing stopping me temping; I wouldn't be dependent on the income as I would have my own funds saved over my 10+ years plan.

The minute I stopped seeing things as black and white, I was able to formulate plans to get me where I want to be. 10 years sounds a lot, but when I look at how quickly nearly 5 years have gone since relocating, it's not. I'm not even a high earner at £21k but I do overpay my mortgage, pay into my work pension, private pension and save.

Maybe it's time you looked at what you can do, to get you where you want to be.

MovingForwards

@ushjr I wasn't saying do what I do. I was providing an example of what I'm doing / working towards to get out of feeling how I do. Knowing there's an end makes it a lot easier to get on with and take positive steps towards what I want long-term.

I did end my post by saying "Maybe it's time you looked at what you can do, to get to where you want to be."

MovingForwards

And if you end up disliking that job, what will you do? 

It's fine having various plans for different scenarios, then trying each of them until the right one works for you.

Edit to add - read all your old threads as I'm on the verge of repeating myself.

Change comes from within, life is what you make of it, we spend too much time at work to not like what we're doing and all the other clichés.

Good luck with whatever you do.

MovingForwards

Change is great, but supposing you don't like that job, what's your back up plan? 
You need alternative options too and an idea about where you want your life to go.

MovingForwards

Yes, I do have back up plans when I change jobs. It's can I stick this while looking for a new one or shall I revert to temping while looking for a new job.

I also had back up plans when changing career and knew what type of work I would try next. Which is what I covered on one of your other threads, when I explained how I was picking what I would do after giving up my career.

Read through your old threads and take on board what people are saying.