Forget that I ever existed

Tokmon

I can understand being a private person, but not talking to anyone at work about anything in your life or even being able to joke around with people you work with really helps to explain your previous posts on here about being so unhappy at work. 

So much time is spent at work that getting on with the people you work with is very important and showing an interest in each others lives and joking around makes the working day far more enjoyable compared to working with people who are difficult to talk to. 

Gavin83

MovingForwards said:

Why is it disrespectful saying someone looks young for their age? It would be disrespectful saying you thought they were older!

I've been known to say both! Glad no one at my employer takes me that seriously. 

Simon11

Tokmon said:

I can understand being a private person, but not talking to anyone at work about anything in your life or even being able to joke around with people you work with really helps to explain your previous posts on here about being so unhappy at work. 

So much time is spent at work that getting on with the people you work with is very important and showing an interest in each others lives and joking around makes the working day far more enjoyable compared to working with people who are difficult to talk to. 

It also makes it easier to be flexible at work, so employees know you do X at Y time, thus they contact you at another time or put less workload on your plan when you dealing with something major.

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Gavin83 said:

MovingForwards said:

Why is it disrespectful saying someone looks young for their age? It would be disrespectful saying you thought they were older!

I've been known to say both! Glad no one at my employer takes me that seriously. 

If you work there for long enough you might get the chance to say both to the same person.

74jax

ushjr said:

MovingForwards said:

"Anything in particular what?"

Why is it disrespectful saying someone looks young for their age? It would be disrespectful saying you thought they were older!

You can still keep your private life private. It's a case of only saying enough so people don't think you're ignorant, arrogant and other things. 

It's interesting how you keep bringing your posts back round to food. Have you contacted your doctor about the issues you face with it as it should be part of your life, not your life revolving around it.

Courses, no idea if the courses I find are scams, irrelevant or useless.

Both saying someone looks young or old for their age is disrespectful because both imply the person is abnormal. Maybe it's ok to say someone looks young if you know they use anti ageing cream or to say they look old if they dye their hair grey. Questioning why someone has a 16 year old son because they don't look old enough is out of order, they're still whatever age they are.

I'm still on the waiting list for CBT but the food issues people with anxiety and depression have is not eating enough.

Tokmon said:

I can understand being a private person, but not talking to anyone at work about anything in your life or even being able to joke around with people you work with really helps to explain your previous posts on here about being so unhappy at work. 

So much time is spent at work that getting on with the people you work with is very important and showing an interest in each others lives and joking around makes the working day far more enjoyable compared to working with people who are difficult to talk to. 

Everybody is so fake though. Believe me I made the effort when I started out, I'd moved to the other end of the country where I didn't know anybody. I didn't fit in, but I got along with quite a few people who also didn't fit in. The difference was they wouldn't stay there very long and I ended up staying 15 years. Meanwhile I made plenty of friends outside of work.

With my current job I've mostly been working from home and only been there almost 4 months so still hard to say, but I do feel some people are just clones of former work colleagues.

I belive that with work too. Outside of work I have no problems with friends, and have close friends, friends I'd go for a drink with etc.... But work colleagues are not my friends and I don't want them to be. I worked with them that's all.
I worked in my own office so that cut a lot of 'passing people' out. 
I remember I once was told in the kitchen 'did you hear xyz has been suspended'. I was involved in a lot of suspensions and knew this person wasn't, in fact they were on bereavement leave....
I asked where they heard that from, if it were true then was it really something I would want to hear whilst getting some water and if wasnt true what good does that do.
Quick as a flash they gave me the name 'well xyz told me' whereas when it was gossip it was oooo I can't say how I know but.....
Telling me 'gossip' was ridiculous, I had work to do not time to discuss who said what to who in a fictitious suspension lie. 

MovingForwards

If something is free eg YouTube videos on social skills, coping mechanisms and other things then what's wrong with watching a few and maybe picking up one tiny thing to start working on. 

The more you post, the deeper it shows where the issues are. Help is not offered on a plate, especially at the moment, you need to look for it and start to help yourself.

I used to do professional development to meet regulatory requirements for my qualification. My colleagues could never understand how I could do so much as they struggled to meet the minimum and when I explained the regulatory requirements they asked me to send links as I get them.

One day we all went to a talk. I thought it was great, provided useful information and couldn't wait until I was able to put what I picked up into practice. My colleagues on the other hand didn't understand and couldn't see the relevance to what we do. After I explained how each bit did relate, they understood and I never shared any links again. What's the point if someone only saw black and white, not all the colours in between. 

MovingForwards

You need to see the doctor and establish what is causing these issues, eg autism, ADHD, OCD or something else, when you know what you're working with it's easier.

The simple way of looking is to do an internet search for something 'how to cope with anxiety', 'how to improve social skills', 'how to make small talk', 'how to cope with obsessive behaviour', 'why do I get upset when my routine changes' then read or watch whatever pops up, see if it then mentions anything else and read or watch that. Keep going, practice and things will improve, use in addition to anything from the NHS and also while waiting for appointments.

Block the ex-manager and anyone else on social media, you're in control of it not them.

We only have one life and it's down to you to shape it how you want it to be.

cossie1990

Sorry just going to hijack this slightly as it’s a sort of question within the same area. 

Has anyone left what on paper seems like a well paid job/career for a significant pay cut (c£20k) in a completely different area?

For context, currently an accountant in education considering becoming a police officer. What are everyone’s feelings about changing career? I get the feeling that I’m giving up on about 9 years worth of experience and feel like it’s a bit wasted, having to start from the bottom etc. Not to mention the significant lifestyle changes. 

coffeehound

ushjr said:

I've already been confirmed as not autistic, don't know what ADHD is. Whenever I read about things I can relate in some ways but not completely and just end up getting confused. 

I would suggest watching this video and see if it makes sense for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iozAFIr3BEw

74jax

cossie1990 said:

Sorry just going to hijack this slightly as it’s a sort of question within the same area. 

Has anyone left what on paper seems like a well paid job/career for a significant pay cut (c£20k) in a completely different area?

For context, currently an accountant in education considering becoming a police officer. What are everyone’s feelings about changing career? I get the feeling that I’m giving up on about 9 years worth of experience and feel like it’s a bit wasted, having to start from the bottom etc. Not to mention the significant lifestyle changes. 

If you start your own thread you'll get better replies.