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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask the neighbours staying with us for rent?

edited 6 April at 3:00PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
45 replies 40.1K views


  • edited 6 April at 6:33PM
    RetSolRetSol Forumite
    336 Posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited 6 April at 6:33PM
    Is this coming up because you’re getting fed up of having them there and you’re looking for a way to gently nudge them out, or are you looking to make some money out of the situation? 

    Exactly what I was thinking.  This is not about money (or carpets).  They came for a month and it looks like they may stay for 5+ months.  Does it feel to you that they are taking the mickey?  Do you feel that your continuing hospitality is being taken for granted? 

    If you don't want them around any longer, give them a month's notice and ask them to find somewhere else.  Be polite but firm. 

     You are under no obligation to let them continually move the goal posts. If they are having a property refurbished, they are responsible for the costs - including necessary alternative accommodation. You are pretty much giving them a free ride at the moment. 

    Lesson for the future: set clear boundaries and review the situation as it evolves.  Think about what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do.  Manage others' expectations accordingly. 

  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
    31.1K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Odd that the original dilemma mentions "additional wear and tear on our household appliances, carpets and so on" and says they are contributing to utility bills but doesn't mention food.
    Are they buying their own food?
    Cooking their own food?

    How strange to invite neighbours to come and live with you without considering that work timescales may slip and not covering all eventualities.

    How awful to be staying in someone else's house initially for one month and after twice that time and with a potential further 2-3 months to go, you don't have the manners to initiate a discussion about money.
  • richardwrichardw Forumite
    19.4K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts
    This just isn’t a credible scenario. When I had work done at home, I rented a place that was big enough to store lots of furniture and possessions for 3 months longer than the programme estimate.
    Posts are not advice and must not be relied upon.
  • getmore4lessgetmore4less Forumite
    43.8K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've helped Parliament
    Where is this because for months this would have breached covid household combination rules.
  • happydays_13happydays_13 Forumite
    12 Posts
    10 Posts Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic
    No, what’s a few more months in the grand scheme of things? Better they owe you a massive favour that you can milk in future than them feeling they paid their dues and owe you nothing. If it’s bothering you, ask them to do things like empty the dishwasher, hang up the washing etc...just small things that they would do anyway in their own home. Make sure they know they owe you a big favour and keep that chip in your back pocket for when you need it ;)
  • sclaresclare Forumite
    44 Posts
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    It's not about wear and tear, it's about them taking advantage of you. Jeeze, they're probably making money on this arrangement, since they won't have their own energy bills to pay, yet are only 'contributing' to yours. It's incredibly cheeky to ask to stay for one month and then stay for five, without even offering to pay you something for the privilege.

    Airbnb's and hotels are open for business now. They should be making their own arrangements and not imposing on you for FOUR MONTHS longer than they asked for.
  • messiahontrialmessiahontrial Forumite
    4 Posts
    Ninth Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    MoneySaving Newbie
    This sounds...fabricated.
    On the one hand, the writer appears overly accommodating.
    On the other, they appear petty and penny pinching.
    Major works next door will have a positive effect to average house prices in the street.
    This will more than compensate for 'wear and tear' on carpets and household appliances.
    Can't believe I've responded to this...
  • edited 6 April at 11:14PM
    ripongrammargirlripongrammargirl Forumite
    58 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 6 April at 11:14PM
    I’m all for helping out/being on good terms with  neighbours with little everyday things but how incredibly rude of them not to even discuss monetary terms , especially now it’s taking longer (much) than originally said- hope you have a contract (always watch Judge Rinder). Somebody is taking the mick, big time. We felt out of place staying with a lady in Boston on Air B and B, especially when we were in her bedroom/bed (all cupboards locked) and she was on the sofa behind a partition!
    Time to have a chat with the neighbours, explain how things cost money, how much accommodation would be elsewhere, how long this refurb is going to take etc.
    For all you know, (cynical me), they might be laughing all the way to the bank by staying at yours and then selling their newly refurbished house for huge profit and leave yours without a thanks or goodbye.
    Nothing comes for free in this world. 
  • CS1_2CS1_2 Forumite
    6 Posts
    Part of the Furniture First Post Combo Breaker
    I suppose you could charge them for wear and tear on the carpets, what rate do you charge your other visitors?
    :j :A :confused: :T
    Cleared Mortgage 2007 - £2000 on Credit Card - £180 £2 coins
  • gothvixengothvixen Forumite
    7 Posts
    First Post
    If this is all true: "Now it looks like you'll be staying a few more months, it seems ideal to ask if you're happy with everything, or are there any other arrangements you'd like to make considering your longer stay?" I have Asperger's so always seem overly formal but I think you get the idea.
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