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Family members taking money from parent whilst in care home

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Hi All,
I'm after some advice on a moral dilemma that I have.  
I am aware of a co-worker and her husband who are withdrawing money from her mothers account, and transferring this into their own account whilst her mother is in a care home.  They are withdrawing cash as well as transferring the funds by both internet banking as well as using her late fathers bank cards.  Her mother potentially has dementia however the Drs will not allow the mother to sign off a POA as capacity is under question, and this is having to go through the courts.   They have been syphoning money from her mothers account since her father passed away last year, initially small cash withdrawals however now it's getting worse as the greed sets in.  In my eyes this is clearly theft from her mothers account, as well as potential fraud by removing money from the mothers account that Social Services will eventually need to use to cover the costs of care.
I could do with some advice as to the best route of action to take, I can not simply sit back as they are stealing money as well as deprivation of assets for covering the care home fees, and are freely telling everyone they are doing this with no remorse.  Should I go to the police or inform social services of the deprivation of assets ?
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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 4,176 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 25 March 2021 at 7:31PM
    Hi All,
    I'm after some advice on a moral dilemma that I have.  
    I am aware of a co-worker and her husband who are withdrawing money from her mothers account, and transferring this into their own account whilst her mother is in a care home.  They are withdrawing cash as well as transferring the funds by both internet banking as well as using her late fathers bank cards.  Her mother potentially has dementia however the Drs will not allow the mother to sign off a POA as capacity is under question, and this is having to go through the courts.   They have been syphoning money from her mothers account since her father passed away last year, initially small cash withdrawals however now it's getting worse as the greed sets in.  In my eyes this is clearly theft from her mothers account, as well as potential fraud by removing money from the mothers account that Social Services will eventually need to use to cover the costs of care.
    I could do with some advice as to the best route of action to take, I can not simply sit back as they are stealing money as well as deprivation of assets for covering the care home fees, and are freely telling everyone they are doing this with no remorse.  Should I go to the police or inform social services of the deprivation of assets ?
     If you have genuine concerns report it to the police. Personally I'd be telling the care home manager too. 
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,972 Forumite
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    edited 25 March 2021 at 7:34PM
    Safeguarding to local authority. 
    In my experience of care homes, they don’t want to know anything about residents personal finances so are unlikely to do anything about the issue. 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • YBR
    YBR Posts: 704 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Posts Mortgage-free Glee! Name Dropper
    elsien said:
    Safeguarding to local authority. 

    Agree. Look up Adult Social Services for the local authority and report it as a safeguarding concern (financial abuse)
    Decluttering awards 2025: 🏅🏅⭐️ ⭐️, DH: ⭐️ and one for Mum: 🏅






  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,021 Forumite
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    How do you know for certain this is happening?   Do you have any proof to take to the authorities?
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
  • xylophone
    xylophone Posts: 45,607 Forumite
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    They are withdrawing cash as well as transferring the funds by both internet banking as well as using her late fathers bank cards.

    It sounds to be the case that they have no authority to act on mother's account - using a card belonging to a deceased person is definitely fraud.

    Contact Adult  Social Services at the local council.

  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,757 Forumite
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    Agree with the others, report it to the safeguarding team at the relevant council.

    Without this, as long the care home bills are being paid it's unlikely social services will know about it or get involved. However social services expect a certain amount of money to be in the account and if the bills suddenly stop being paid they'll get involved. I'm expecting the daughter figures once the money runs out they'll just approach social services for funding and there's nothing they can do about it. This isn't the case though and social services will likely take them to court to recover the money.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,972 Forumite
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    The council can’t take people to court for theft. That’s a police/CPS decision. 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • elsien said:
    Safeguarding to local authority. 
    In my experience of care homes, they don’t want to know anything about residents personal finances so are unlikely to do anything about the issue. 
    Wrong.  All care home managers and staff should be trained to ID problems and if approached by staff, family etc it is their duty to make the referral or guide the concerned person. The person raising the concern can if they want to approach the council direct.
    https://www.scie.org.uk/person-centred-care/older-people-care-homes/safety
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,765 Forumite
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    I don't think Elsien is wrong.
    She specifically said
    elsien said:
    In my experience of care homes
    so that's her experience.

    It's also my experience too.

    Both our experiences may differ from yours but that doesn't change the fact that they are our experiences.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,972 Forumite
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    edited 28 March 2021 at 1:27PM
    elsien said:
    Safeguarding to local authority. 
    In my experience of care homes, they don’t want to know anything about residents personal finances so are unlikely to do anything about the issue. 
    Wrong.  All care home managers and staff should be trained to ID problems and if approached by staff, family etc it is their duty to make the referral or guide the concerned person. The person raising the concern can if they want to approach the council direct.
    https://www.scie.org.uk/person-centred-care/older-people-care-homes/safety
    I have sat in a care home office under a large poster highlighting financial abuse, talking to a senior staff member about their concerns about a  financial abuse situation which they had done nothing about for 18 months, I have had several care home managers tell me that they don't get involved with money, that's down to the appointee. Even where there isn't an appointee. I am currently working with 3 care home residents who have had no access to any money for over 12 months because various care homes have not flagged up with anyone that there is an issue.

    I will repeat that in my experience there can be a discrepancy between what care homes should do, and what they do in practice. 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
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