Convincing my partner to use cloth nappies

hob_nob_bob

Hi,

My partner and I are currently trying for a baby. My company doesn't pay any maternity pay so I'd qualify only for statutory maternity pay, which will significantly reduce our household income; I currently earn £28k and my partner around £37k. I'm doing my absolute best to save enough money to at least cover my share of the bills while I'm on maternity (if we are lucky enough to conceive), but I'm also looking at options to help reduce spend if/when a baby arrives.

I'm absolutely more than happy to buy most things second hand, save for a car seat and cot mattress, but looking at other areas where I can save money. I'm very interested in cloth nappies, partly for the cost-savings, but honestly mostly because there will be less waste in landfill (I HATE the thought that every nappy ever used is still sitting around somewhere). My partner, however, is not keen AT ALL.

I would love to hear you experiences, positive or negative, with using cloth nappies!

HampshireH

No experience of cloth. However I do have a suggestion.

If you start with disposables for convenience (there is so much that can be quite overwhelming if this is your first that you may find this easier) then introduce cloth nappies during the day if you are going to be the main caregiver and your partner returns to work?

Show they work and he will likely convert.

What is he is opposed to? Cloth nappies in a bucket? Washing pooy nappies in the machine? Cost (initial outlay can be expensive but plenty of second hands available)?

strawb_shortcake

We used cloth for my eldest two, bought a complete set of everything think it was about 24 nappies and we spent about £300 I think?(17 years ago) on them - luckily they fitted perfectly and was relatively easy, but I was a SAHM not sure how I would have fared if I was going back to work. 
Prices probably have come down since, the nappies were quite bulky so trousers could be trickier to fit. 
With my youngest we bought different nappies and they were awful so we went to disposable ones, we also used these for when going away. 
It might be worth waiting to buy after giving birth to try and work out what fits the baby best. 
Also check your local council website they sometimes have different incentives or competitions - I won some nappies but suspect i may have been the only one to enter.

They were quite easy to manage and they didn't stink, I've found the disposable nappies and sacks were more noticeable, get flushable liners and the worst goes down the toilet.

Best of luck 

Savvy_Sue

We used them with eldest, many years ago, when a nappy was a square thing you folded and pinned on with big blue pins. DH mastered this as well as I did. 

The layout of the house made it really easy: bathroom downstairs, next to the kitchen with the washing machine. So change nappy, throw terry into the soaking bucket in the bathroom, when ready to wash empty soaking water into the bath and drag it over to the washing machine. 

By the time No. 2 and No. 3 came along, things were more difficult. Bathroom upstairs, tiny loo downstairs, washing machine downstairs. Where do you keep the nappy bucket?

I'm sure we could have overcome the problems, but we went for disposables. 

Smell wasn't an issue.

pollypenny

Why do you have to worry about 'your share of bills' while on maternity leave with your joint child?  

I can understand you wanting to compensate for loss of household income, but surely a couple work together on finances. 

MalMonroe

We used cloth nappies years ago with our first child and I hated them. I hated the whole thing! We tried to use 'nappy liners' too which were great as you could just flush them away but the soaking nappy bucket thing was horrible. I would really have preferred disposables but it didn't matter which type we used our baby was allergic to them all and they caused big red rashes. 

I really wanted to be kind to the planet but I found using cloth nappies such hard work. I was absolutely exhausted for a long time after the birth, mainly because we were living abroad and had no relatives to help and messing about with cloth nappies didn't help, although my partner helped a lot and was working full time as well. I probably overdid the nappy changing as was a new parent and desperate to do everything properly and efficiently.

Still, because of allergic reactions, we had no choice in the end and were helpful to the planet by default. Thankfully that child was toilet trained early!

wannabe_a_saver

hob_nob_bob said:

Hi,

 I'm doing my absolute best to save enough money to at least cover my share of the bills while I'm on maternity 

I'm sorry, what?  He already earns more than you, are you saying that he would expect you to still keep paying the same after you had a baby? 

Having a baby makes you a family unit.  Family outgoings come from family income, it doesn't matter who technically gets paid, both of you will be working hard for the family!

HampshireH

I think as a partnership if the OP wants to save enough money before having a baby so they can still live to the same standards the currently do then that's her choice.

We saved enough in advance to ensure we didn't have to cut costs when down to one salary. It worked well and meant that baby groups/activities etc were still affordable if not more affordable than they would have been.

OP didn't say her partner was making her save to pay her share of the bills.

JGB1955

If you want to save the planet you could try bio-degradable nappies.  My daughter has used Naty ones for both of her children.  Admittedly, not cheap but you could offset the cost by buying reusable microfibre or bamboo baby wipes.

hob_nob_bob

HampshireH said:

No experience of cloth. However I do have a suggestion.

If you start with disposables for convenience (there is so much that can be quite overwhelming if this is your first that you may find this easier) then introduce cloth nappies during the day if you are going to be the main caregiver and your partner returns to work?

Show they work and he will likely convert.

What is he is opposed to? Cloth nappies in a bucket? Washing pooy nappies in the machine? Cost (initial outlay can be expensive but plenty of second hands available)?

This is a great suggestion, thank you. It'll be my first, but my partner already has two children. He's opposed to the washing off poo and putting the nappies in the washing machine rather than straight in the bin!

hob_nob_bob

pollypenny said:

Why do you have to worry about 'your share of bills' while on maternity leave with your joint child?  

I can understand you wanting to compensate for loss of household income, but surely a couple work together on finances. 

wannabe_a_saver said:

hob_nob_bob said:

Hi,

 I'm doing my absolute best to save enough money to at least cover my share of the bills while I'm on maternity 

I'm sorry, what?  He already earns more than you, are you saying that he would expect you to still keep paying the same after you had a baby? 

Having a baby makes you a family unit.  Family outgoings come from family income, it doesn't matter who technically gets paid, both of you will be working hard for the family!

I don't think I worded it very well! My partner is 100% of the mindset that it's 'our' money and he will absolutely help to support the family more while my income drops. I just want to save so that the massive drop in income doesn't seem such a big hit, and also for my own personal reasons - although my partner is happy to provide for us, I don't want to feel like I have to ask for money if I want a treat etc. I know he wouldn't actually say anything to make me feel this way, it's all in my own head, but something I'd like to mitigate if I can!